Floss Gloss, Nails

Floss Gloss Nail Lacquer in Blood, Suede & Tears

floss gloss blood suede and tears

Blood, Suede & Tears, Floss Gloss, $8

I picked up Blood, Suede & Tears during Floss Gloss’ flash sale a few weeks ago. I’d been hovering around it since its release at the beginning of summer, so a sale gave me a good excuse to finally give in to DESIRE.

This polish originally debuted as part of their “Super 70s Summer Collection,” but I haven’t seen a color this 90s since, like, 1996.

It is SO 90s.

I know these things happen in cycles, so it was only a matter of time before brown cosmetics made their way back into my life. Next up, TINY MACRAME BACKPACK!!

When Blood, Suede & Tears showed up at my house, I was a little taken aback by exactly how BROWN it was. I was like, “Sarah. Are you ready for this? Can you handle this? You know this brown polish is just going to be a gateway to brown lipstick.”

I WON’T DO IT.

I do love this polish though. I LOVE this polish.

Like I said, in the bottle, it was so, so brown. On the nail, it was a warm, orangey, burgundy. It’s the color of chocolate syrup!! It’s warm and vampy, perfect for fall. 1994 me would have freaked out. She would have gone crazy for it, paired it with her brown lipstick, laced up her Docs, and gone back to talking to boys wearing flannels.

floss gloss blood suede and tears pic

Brown lipstick, check. Oversized henley shirt, check. Bad attitude, check.

I swear to you, I can still see a SEVENTEEN editorial from the 90s all about different shades of brown lipsticks and polishes that featured a color just like this. I remember it because I thought it looked so good. I wanted it for my back to school look!!

Allow me to demonstrate exactly how 90s this color is by juxtaposing it with a bunch of stuff from the 90s that still lives in my house:

floss gloss blood suede and tears kurt

Aww, cheer up, guy! It gets better! 

floss gloss blood suede and tears collage

90S ART PROJECT

floss gloss blood suede and tears zines

ZINES, YOU GUYS. NOT PICTURED: The zine I used to make.

Do you know how hard I had to look for those zines? Not hard at all! They were just sitting on my desk! I don’t know why!

In conclusion, of course the grrrls at Floss Gloss would be the ones to turn me back to brown polish. They always seem to know what I want before I do. It’s weird. Some might say it’s….eerie. Indiana. Eerie, Indiana.

Get it?!

It’s a show from the 90s. How old are you!?

Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.

Buy Blood, Suede & Tears HERE.

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A man duhh, Friday I'm in Love, Personal

Jason Cosper Review and Pics

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Can I talk about something unrelated to makeup? I can, right? You guys are cool with that? I knew you would be!

Man. You guys are awesome.

You know who else is awesome?

jason bunny

THIS GUY.

I’m 100% sure it was my idea for him to wear my bunny hat, and since he’s a good sport and a hilarious dude, here we are.

Jason is always up for the joke. More importantly, he’s up for my jokes.

And let me tell you, I have got JOKES.

We just got back from a trip to Santa Barbara for our three year anniversary, so I’ve been spending a lot of time with this guy. I’m happy to say, that after a week of nearly 24/7 contact, I still really like him.

It was touch and go there for a minute when we were arguing in the car on the drive, but then we got to the hotel, and forgot all about it. We’re good like that; we can recover from a fight almost instantly if you distract us. We’re not even really mad, we’re just dumb.

Dumb idiots in love.

Dumb idiot know-it-all smarty pants sarcastic depressives in love.

sarah and jason

How did I ever go those first 24 years without him? What did I do? Was I happy?  Was I bored? It’s hard to remember now.

I bet I was so bored!

We’ve been together for almost 8 years now, and things haven’t been boring so far. Frustrating? Sometimes. Sexual? You know it! Boring? No way.

Well….

Maybe the Star Wars parts are boring. I prefer to talk about Indiana Jones or Planet of the Apes.

Cosper family

How did we get so lucky? How does anyone get so lucky?

I married the funniest, smartest dude I’ve ever met.

I’ve met a lot of funny ones.

A handful of smart ones.

Maybe three funny AND smart ones.

Only one Jason.

sarah and jason rings

GROSS.

We talk about everything, we fight about the things we need to fight about, we don’t stay mad for long, we hold hands in bed every night when we fall asleep. He encourages everything I ever want to do, he believes in me.

It was his idea to bring Rowdy home.

What would I do without him?

Oh, sick. I hate to even think about it.

In conclusion, since I will never stop being an angsty teen with a dark song in my heart, I’d like to leave you with a poem I wrote for him last year. He’s the only person who’s ever seen it. I really intended on keeping it that way, but I want to put it out there: I really love Jason Cosper.

A LOVE POEM FOR JASON

When we die,

I want my bones to be buried inside your bones.

My ribcage inside your ribcage

my spine locked together with yours

tibias, clavicles, teeth and fingers all mixed up.

It’s comforting to think about,

when I’m scaring myself with my own mortality,

this idea of us together.

It’s romantic to imagine,

when I’m paralyzed by fear.

Your bones guarding mine.

My bones touching yours.

Whatever happens next,

whether we see it or not,

I’d die knowing I’d be with you.

The earth above pressing us into each other.

Fusing us together.

Parted by death no more.

My bones inside your bones.

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Be back from vacation soon!

Personal

Gone Fission

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Birchbox

Birchbox Swap Party!!

A few days ago, I had a brilliant idea.

A brilliant idea that would combine four of my favorite things: new beauty products, my friend Erin, my friend Denys, and lunch.

BIRCHBOX SWAP PARTY!!!!

birchbox swap

DID I INVENT THIS?! I THINK I INVENTED THIS!

We all went through our Birchboxes for the last few months, gathered up the samples we didn’t use or didn’t like, and met for lunch! Then, we dumped everything out and started swapping! It was so fun to see the things they got in their Birchboxes! It was SO FUN to pick new samples! It was so fun to talk to Denys into keeping her red lipstick!

My Cuban sandwich gave me a stomach ache.

But, my Birchbox swap idea gave me a great big head! Because my friends loved it!

So now, I have a bunch of new samples to try, and a standing date with my friends to swap smooches and products.

birchbox swap haul

I’m smelly and into sun protection.

If you and your friends get Birchbox subscriptions, I really recommend you start your own chapter of the Birchbox Lunch Bunch. If you don’t get Birchbox, you should!

I think next time I’m going to make us all wear fancy red hats. The good ideas just keep coming!

Get your own Birchbox subscription HERE.

 

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Birchbox, Lips, Nails

Birchbox September 2013, Review and Pics

birchbox 9:13

Damn you, Birchbox.

After my first box was whatever, and that was followed by a box that was way late, I was ready to be mad. I had a strong thirst for haterade, and I was all set to chug it.

But I keep getting great boxes!!

This month’s box is the third box in a row that has been pretty spot on. I’ll use everything in it, and I’m actually going to BUY a full sized product this month! That’s never happened before!

Let’s get to it. From left to right….

Serge Normant Meta Luxe Hair Spray

What they said: Airy mist that keeps your ‘do smooth and frizz free, and also shields strands from UV rays.

What I say: I haven’t used this yet! I don’t really have a lot of use for hairspray in my day to day life. I do like to keep my travel toiletries bag stocked with travel size products, that way I only have to throw in the extra stuff I’m bringing, so I’m going to add this hairspray to that bag. It smells really, really good. That’s nice. I have one travel size hairspray that, I’m telling you, it smells like dead bodies. I’m going to chuck that one and add this one.

Ruffian Nail Lacquer – Delirium

What they said: Bold purple from the fashion label’s first lacquer collection.

What I say: WHOA THIS POLISH IS NICE.

birchbox 9:13 ruffian polish

It is surely a bold purple, and I swear I’m picking up some shifting dark blue in there. The checkout lady at the grocery store said to me, “That’s a beautiful cobalt blue polish you have on!” And I was like, thanks. For whatever reason, I always find myself arguing with people over what is and isn’t purple. So, I just let this one go. It does look pretty blue indoors.

The Ruffian bottle is pretty, and the handle on the brush made application super easy! The formula of their polish is really luxe. Deeply pigmented, beautifully self leveling, and flowing from the brush; I only really needed one coat. I did two just because I always do. Gorgeous.

Grand Central Beauty S.M.A.R.T. Skin Perfecting Polisher

What they said: This multitasker made with natural botanical exfoliates, tones, smoothes, and moisturizes.

What I say:  UMMM. FUN!!! This stuff is fun! You massage a little bit onto your face, and all this crud comes off! Little beads in the gel scrub everything up and lift it away. The bottle says rinsing is optional, so I didn’t rinse to see what would happen. Everything worked out great! My skin was soft, smooth and bright. My little bottle had some weird pink stuff all over it, and it was only about half full, but it was still cool.

Dr. Lipp Original Nipple Balm for Lips

What they said: Originally made for nursing moms, this ultra hydrating balm is a makeup artist fave.

What I say: I’m buying this!! It nailed my chapped lips and my scratchy cuticles in one fell swoop. A little bead of balm was all it took to take care of everything. LOVE IT. BUYING IT. WANT IT AT MY HOUSE. THE LIPS ARE THE NIPPLES OF THE FACE.

Keratherapy Deep Conditioning Masque

What they said: Right any number of hair sins with this intensely restorative, keratin infused masque.

What I say: I haven’t used this yet. It came in while I had my head shellacked in a coconut scented disaster, and I was feeling a little deep conditioned out. I’ll get to it soon. I always think my hair is too dry.

*****

So, I guess at this point, I can really say I’m enjoying my Birchbox subscription. If the boxes keep coming like this, I’ll be happy. And still no perfume samples! I hate perfume samples.

Get your own Birchbox subscription HERE

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Hair, Kitchen Sink Beauty, Moisturizer

Coconut Oil Hair Mask: The Results Show

I know you’ve all been anxiously waiting to hear the outcome of my coconut oil experiment; and we’ll get to that, but first, let’s take a look back on the road to the finale…

There was that time I followed a random idea that floated through my head and told you guys about it,

“I’ve got coconut oil, a hotel shower cap, very dry ends, a mildly ambitious attitude, and last night’s Project Runway.

I’m going to get to the bottom of this coconut oil as hair mask situation for myself. Plus, this is going to be a good way to force myself into taking a shower.”

Then, I played with my phone, watched television and posted pictures on Facebook:

coconut oil mask

Finally, I left us with the million dollar question….

“Is my hair wet? Is my hair greasy?”

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NOBODY KNEW.

And that about brings us up to speed.

The answer?

I was SO greasy, buddy!

pauly shore gif

In a bad way. Not in a Pauly Shore way. Which is a GREAT way.

This just didn’t work out great for me. Some weird stuff did happen though, so I’ll share.

I think the idea to try this out popped into my head because my hair has been through a lot lately. I’ve been swimming a lot, and I have the suspicion that my Suave coconut conditioner is not up to the task of taking care of that sun and chlorine damage. My hair was feeling pretty dry and poofy. My hair is never poofy. But, you could gather it up in a ponytail, and it was like a big clump at the end. GROSS.

At first, I was super stoked about the way the oil was feeling, because it seemed like my hair was really sucking it up. I’d add more, and it would be gone. All in all, I probably used a little over a 1/4 cup of oil in my hair. Is that too much? In retrospect, it seems like a lot. I have a lot of hair though, so maybe it isn’t? I massaged the oil into my scalp, and all down the entire length of my hair, being really generous at the ends. After my head felt saturated, I pulled it up into a shower cap, and waited for about an hour and a half.

As soon as I started trying to wash out the oil in the shower, I knew I had made a mistake. It was pretty readily apparent that my cleansing conditioner was going to struggle with removing the oil. And, whoa, struggle it did. After a little while, there didn’t seem to be any more I could do, so I got out, hoping that meant the oil that was left was there because my hair wanted it. NOPE! The oil that was left was there because I couldn’t wash it. There was a lot of it. Everything from my ears down was slick with oil. It was weird though because it didn’t feel heavy, or even really sticky greasy. You could easily run your fingers through my hair, and it was light. It was greasy though; all piecey and slick. It was strange. I’d never really felt and oiliness like that.

Instead of getting back in the shower, I braided my hair into milkmaid braids and pinned them up. I was still optimistic that, in the end, everything would work out. Now it was like I was having a long term moisture treatment on my hair! How luxurious! I left it like that for about a day, and then I tried again to wash it out.

This time, I used shampoo.

Here’s where another weird thing happened! The second the shampoo went onto my hair, everything tangled up! It was fucking bizarre! It felt like my hair completely flipped from a slick, over greasy, stick straight mess to a rough, tangled, tumbleweed mess. Scrubbing was a nightmare, everything pulled and hurt. Conditioner barely helped. It was a disaster!

And don’t even get me started on the death trap that was my shower floor while all this was happening.

I dried my hair and I was unimpressed. My hair was shinier and softer, but not soft or shiny enough to make it worth all the mess. You can get faster results from a regular deep conditioner.

If you still want to try it, go for it. As usual, your results will vary. Tread very carefully if you have thin or fine hair, and maybe don’t do it if you have somewhere to be in the same day.

So, there you have it. More bullshit that doesn’t work as well as I’d hoped!

 

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Hair, Kitchen Sink Beauty, Moisturizer

Coconut Oil Hair Mask Special Bulletin

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Here I am, post mask, and post shower. Is my hair wet? Is it greasy? NOBODY KNOWS.

Second impression: After all that time trying to rinse the oil out of my hair in the shower, the back of my body is feeling very moisturized.

I might have done this wrong, although, I don’t see how. All our questions will be answered in my next post. Isn’t this thrilling? I put off a trip to Target for this!

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