Beauty Idols, MAC, Upcoming

MAC x Rocky Horror Collection for Fall 2014!!!!

mac x rocky horror

AUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MAC announced the Rocky Horror Fall collection, and I am SHIVERING WITH ANTICI………….

PATION!

I see a nail polish, a lipstick, and a couple glitters or pigments that I’m going to need. The collection drops online September 29th, and in stores on October 2nd. Lucky for me, that’s just a few days before my birthday! I think the traditional 33rd birthday present is Dr. Frank-N-Furter themed lipstick, so this works out great!

Temptalia has the full details, and photos. Go up to the lab, and see what’s on the slab! Check it out! 

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Beauty Idols, Fave Looks, Urban Decay

Mrs. Mia Wallace

pulp fiction paletteUrban Decay dropped their super limited edition Pulp Fiction themed collection this morning, and although I was interested, I had some struggles. The collection is small, only five pieces; an eyeshadow palette, red lipstick, liner and nail polish, and a glitter liner. Everything looks great, wearable and coordinated, but, I just couldn’t pull the trigger on the shadow palette. I think between all the Naked palettes, including the Basics palette, I’m pretty covered as far as neutral shadows are concerned. As much as I’d like to add this palette to my pile, I think I have to pass.

You have to understand how much this hurt me. Two of my favorites things, UD shadow palettes and Pulp Fiction, are colliding! In faaaaaact, I’d say both UD and Pulp Fiction came into my life around the same time, 20 years ago. I can remember both the first time I bought a UD product, and the first time I watched Pulp Fiction. Combine that with the fact that the whole collection is based on one of my all time BANGS ICONS, Mia Wallace, and you get me in that makeup frenzy where I can’t think straight.

mia dance gif

I wore those bangs for 15 years, and I’ve been post-OD Mia Wallace for Halloween no less than three times. It’s not a stretch to call me a fan.

(**BEAUTY TIP** If you wear that Mia Wallace costume, complete with bloody nose and chest syringe, to the grocery store, people will let you go to the front of the line because you look disgusting. **END BEAUTY TIP**)

Lucky for me(?), my own BAD MOTHERFUCKER was in bed with me while I was loading up my online cart, and he reminded me that I had already decided to skip the shadows. He was right. I did decide that. I’m glad he’s around to keep me from accidentally snorting from the wrong baggie, or, buying eyeshadows I don’t need.

Not that I skipped the whole collection. I didn’t. I have the blood red “Mia Wallace” lip liner and lipstick coming to me, and you guys will see it soon! I wish I could afford to buy everything, just because I want it, but there are no super valuable briefcases around here. I am, however, available to take any and all falls for the right price. The falls don’t even have to be in boxing!

I am not available for watch storage.

Buy Urban Decay’s Pulp Fiction collection HERE.

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Beauty Idols

Pretty Hurts

Well, this song and video almost put me out of business. If societal pressure to be beautiful is hard for Beyonce, what am I going to do for us? Like, pack up the keyboard, and shutter the beauty blog because we are all stuck feeling bad about ourselves forever.


It’s hard to take Bey asking me if I’m happy with myself. That part always gets me. I’ll admit it, I cry. There, are you happy?  I CRY, OK?! SHE JUST UNDERSTANDS WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH.

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Beauty Idols, Personal

Beauty Idols: The Contemporary

I’ve been wanting to start an open-ended series of posts about my beauty idols. The people who inspire me, the faces that make me want to be beautiful. I was thinking of starting with someone older than me, someone who has been an influence for decades, but I couldn’t decide where to start. Then, in the middle of the night last night, my first subject showed herself to me. It wasn’t who I thought it would be, but I found myself spooling out a thousand images in my mind that showed me, yes, she’s where to start.

You might be surprised.

kim k beaded headpiece

WHO’S THAT GIRRRRRRL????

kim k gold collar

IT’S KIM!

Before you start, let me stop you: Do not even try to come at me with your Kim Kardashian hate. I won’t have it. I don’t hear it. I don’t even care. Whatever comment you have makes you sound prudish/judgmental/sexist/jealous/mad. Sorry bout it! It ain’t welcome here!

Do I care about her sex tape? Not even a tiny bit. Do I think she’s dumb? No, I do not. I think she’s completely self aware and shrewd. If you don’t see the game, you might need to think harder about who’s dumb.

I’m sorry if I sound defensive, but I just spent an hour and a half Googling Kimmie, and the ugly, disgusting, misogynistic things that pop up about her before anything else are disheartening. Why the need to waste so much energy tearing this woman down? The attacks on her are so personal, and so hateful. For what? Why? Because of her money? Because of her body? Why so much hate towards her body?

The woman is an anomaly.

kim k body con

We should all be so lucky! When I look at her, I don’t even get mad about my body. She’s so fantastical, her body is nearly unattainable. Other celebrity bodies, I can comprehend the work that has gone into them. But how Kim’s stomach is so flat, and she keeps her ass so big, I’ll never understand.

I really think people can not handle the fact that she exists in the same real universe as the rest of us. She’s not a cartoon. She’s a living, breathing woman who, by genetics or design, looks impossible. She’s just so outlandishly shaped that she scrambles our brains. One of the best descriptions of Kim I’ve ever read came from Tina Fey, who described her looks as, “…made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.”

When she was pregnant, she looked so fecund, so radiant, she was a modern day fertility goddess. Pregnancy suited her beautifully.

kim k pregnant

Kimberly! Stahp!!

P.S. Would you like to know what the first autocomplete suggestion was when I Googled “Kim Kardashian pregnant?” Whale. It thought I wanted to Google that her pregnant body makes her look like a whale. It thought it was obvious. That’s so fucking gross. Just let the woman be pregnant. Let her let her body do what it needs and wants to do. Could you imagine? The whole world being so vocally critical of your pregnant body? Horrifying. I guess the argument could be made that such is the price of fame, but do we, as a culture, need to extract every penny so viciously?

Anyways.

Beauty and fashion wise, MEDIA WISE, she’s an icon for the new millennium. I find her constant style reinvention inspiring, and her unapologetic need for glamour bracing. Most often, people, celebrities in particular demur when faced with the question of whether they want all these “things” all these material trappings. Not so for Kim. She is awash in fashion and glitter and expensive things, and she is fine with it. She seems like the kind of person who prefers a hotel to camping, and that doesn’t make her bad. I get that preference! A distaste for roughing it doesn’t make you any less real.

She is SO REAL.

Where our beloved Queen Bey seem so far above the rest of us, Kim lets us see her ugly crying face, she lets us see her painfully mottled feet, swollen from her pregnancy. Kim seems like maybe you knew a girl like her in high school. She would have had on glittery butterfly clips, and you would ride in her Eclipse to go get fries at McDonald’s. She sings along to “No Scrubs” with you. Her bags were more expensive than yours, she had a pager, and her parents would let her do things your parents would never allow. The Kardashians, Kim in particular, understand how to show you they’re like you. I love that. That’s a big part of why I chose Kim as my first beauty icon. She’s not always the perfectly contoured face on the red carpet.

And can we talk about that contoured face?

kim k contour

Kim’s look has sparked a makeup wildfire. Normal women who don’t have makeup artists, who don’t have photo shoots, know how to do a highlight and contour now, and that is because of Kim Kardashian. All over the beauty world, “Kim Kardashian face” is shorthand for an admittedly heavy, but polished and flawless contour job. She brought it to the masses. THANK YOU, KIM.

This fabulous woman, with one sex tape, unleashed a whirlwind of big hair, face contouring, body, and style upon the world. And, she was able to bring her entire family along with her! Famous for nothing? Bullshit. She’s famous because she keeps going. She’s famous because no matter what’s going on around her, divorces, pregnancies, body shaming, the insatiable public hunger for her downfall, she straps on gorgeous shoes and walks out the door. She’s famous because she perseveres. She’s famous because she’s not an idiot. Paris Hilton was an idiot. Kim is no idiot. She’s famous because she is our Most Beautiful. She looks like America. She is all too much, and we LOVE to have too much.

kim k karl l

Kim is one of my beauty idols for the obvious reasons: her makeup is perfect, she has an adventurous sense of style, her hair is ideal, she knows her own face and body and she uses them with a model’s sensibility.

kim k blue couch

Kim is one of my beauty idols for the less obvious reason: she doesn’t let the hate keep her down. If you’re going to be a beauty revolutionary, you might have to face some harsh criticism. I can’t think of anyone who gets it worse than Kim, and she shows off her beauty anyways.

kim k crop top

About all of this.

Kim will not yield the spotlight. You can’t force her. She doesn’t retreat. She goes blonde.

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Beauty Idols, Lips, MAC, Upcoming

ELEGANZA

MAC Ru Viva Glam

MAC has brought back their original burgundy-red Viva Glam lipstick from 1994! With original Viva Glam SUPERMODEL OF THE WORLD, RuPaul!

I actually don’t have any of the Viva Glam lipsticks, but, I think the beginning is probably a good place to start. I’m into it! Ru is my Oprah, and as a person from the 90s, I have a deep understanding of burgundy lipsticks.

I’m going to buy it without even trying it on, because I know it doesn’t matter what I do, everything looks good on me. Supermodel.

Speaking of Ru and Supermodel, when was the last time you watched the “Supermodel” video?

Ru is everydamnthang in this video! She’s so fucking funny, it kills me! And the shout outs to all the 90’s Supermodels? LAWD, that makes my Evangelista loving heart skip a beat.

The 90’s were an amazing time. If you need more proof of this, allow me to take you to my happy place:

ru and nirvana

I just might make this my iphone screen.

Feel free to use it as your happy place too. Whenever you feel bad, just do a Google image search for the Ru and Nirvana. There are all kinds of photos! Ru holding a crying Frances Bean and trying to console her?! DEAD. I AM DEAD NOW.

Am I off topic? We were talking about Viva Glam. We can talk about the 90s any time. We can talk about RuPaul all the time, if you want. I mean, I’ve been thinking about hugging her since 1993. True Story: Ru tweeted back to me once about Miss J, from ANTM, and I got dizzy. Worlds were colliding and I couldn’t take it.

Buy Viva Glam The Original HERE. Every cent of the selling price ($15) goes towards helping people living with HIV/AIDS.

 

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Beauty Idols, Links

Babies, don’t you panic

NOOOOOO!!! Tim Curry suffered a major stroke last night.

frank

Get well soon, beautiful.

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