Aging, Bargain Beauty, Face, Friday I'm in Love, Moisturizer, Neutrogena, Sun Care

FIIL: Neutrogena Clear Face Sunscreen

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Speaking of summer, please tell me you’re remembering to wear some sunscreen! Look, I understand, I want caramel thighs, too. But, we gotta put on a leettle bit of sun protection. We all know the more you wear the better, but, I’m realistic. I know you guys. If you’re not going to put on on sunscreen for health’s sake, maybe do it for vanity? That’s why I wear it. The longer people think I’m in my 20s, the better, and there aren’t a lot of 23 year old women walking around with sun spots and wrinkles.

Can I just take a minute and really give thanks for my goth childhood? Blessed be. All those years spent sulking in the shade really saved my skin the usual harm that occurs during the teen years. You can’t get sun damage from sitting in your room and burning incense!

young sarah

Having a really good time at my 15th birthday party.

In the last 17 years since that birthday, I’ve come around on the sun.

Wait.

17, ALMOST 18,  years since that birthday?! The time between the girl in the photo and now is longer than the the time between the girl in the photo and HER BIRTH. That’s so fucking sick. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh no. Things are really on the downhill slide.

Look, I hate to be a downer, but, I’m just realizing that sunscreen won’t turn back the clock. It’s cool though, because, you know, only you have to know the EXACT time on the clock. Not that I’m one of those people who are embarrassed by their age. I’m not. I just want to be 25 forever.

neutrogena clear face sunscreen

I wrote about this sunscreen last year, and my love for it is holding strong. I really dislike even wearing moisturizers that have spf in them, so that really says something. This sunscreen is light and hydrating, without leaving that gross, gritty, grime feeling. Even better, I have never had any adverse reactions from using this product; no zits, no blackheads, no itchy bumps, no residue.

Since I didn’t really grow up to be an outdoors person, I don’t need a separate sunscreen every day. This sunscreen is waterproof, so it’s pretty much just the couple times a week I’m in the pool AKA day drinking and working on the choreography for our “Man, I Feel Like A Woman” routine with my synchronized swimming partner. I’m thinking about aquatic dance moves, and I do not need to be worried about getting a sunburn, ok? I use this sunscreen for my face, ears, neck, and chest; and I use a regular Coppertone, or whatever, for the rest of my body. So far, so good! My face skin is secure.

You can pick up Neutrogena Clear Face Sunscreen pretty much anywhere. I grabbed my bottle at the grocery store! It ain’t hard to come by! Check it out!

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Beauty Tools, Clarisonic, Cleansers, Friday I'm in Love, Maintenance, Skincare

Worth it! Clarisonic Brush

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That’s my Clarisonic up thurr. It’s a beloved member of our household.

I’ve been putting off doing a post about these because they’re pretty expensive, but today is the day! This is why…

Last night, for funsies/research, I sat down and did a full face of makeup. I’m talking FACE BEAT. Foundation, contouring powder, concealer, blush, two different kinds of highlighter, three shadows, my waterproof liquid liner, several coats of mascara, lip liner, lipstick, and a finishing powder. I don’t need to tell you it was fucking beautiful. But, I will. It was fucking beautiful. Later, in the shower, I used a cleanser whose specific job is makeup removal. That’s its whole schtick. After I rinsed my face, I was suspicious of the results, my face just didn’t feel clean, so I took another pass at my skin with my Clarisonic. Would you like to guess what I found?

Tons of makeup on my brush!!! The bristles were tan!

I was properly horrified. I even shook my head in disgust.

BECAUSE I WAS DISGUSTED!

It was at that moment that I decided it was time to do my civic duty, and write my post. So, today, Friday I’m in Love with my Clarisonic!

Like most people probably do, I initially balked at the price. They’re costly, there’s no way around that. But, last night’s experiment was all the validation I needed that mine was worth the money.

I bought my brush after The Great Kiehl’s Disaster of 2010. My skin had been destroyed by a beauty experiment gone awry, and I was desperate for answers. I was breaking out a lot, and my face was dull and rough. My cheeks, specifically, were a mess. They felt thick, like scars, and I was afraid I’d done long term damage. I’d gone back to my old skincare routine, and I was exploring more drastic options, treatments, masks, etc. I did some research on the Clarisonic, convinced Jason it was practically a medical necessity, and bought one.

After my first use, there was a difference; my skin was softer and brighter even using my usual cleanser. A week after I got it, my skin showed a lot of improvement. My makeup went on smoother, my moisturizer absorbed better, and my breakouts stopped. It was the first sign of hope that there could be a turnaround on my skin. I can’t even begin to describe my relief. I was thisclose to adopting a veil over my face when I left the house like I was Blanket Jackson.

Since then, I’ve taken on a routine with my Clarisonic. They say it’s gentle enough to use twice a day, I think that’s overkill. I think using it every day is overkill. I suppose this varies by face, but all my education and real world experience has taught me that it’s very rare for anybody to really need to exfoliate every single day. If you decide to get one, you can easily figure out what’s too much; just pay attention to your skin. Be careful of any redness or soreness, and adjust accordingly. Someone who wears makeup every day should probably use it more often than someone who doesn’t. I don’t wear makeup every day, and I know my face doesn’t like to be exfoliated every night, so I use my Clarisonic 2-3 times a week. Unless I’m reviewing a product for the site, I always use it before I do masks or treatments. It gets your skin very, very clean, and I always include it when I’m wearing A LOT of makeup.

I don’t know how you can justify the price to yourself. If you never get the chance to indulge in spa facials, maybe indulge in a Clarisonic. If you struggle with chronic or frequent skin problems, maybe tell yourself you’re upping the game! To be fair, you for sure would be, so it wouldn’t be a lie. Or, how about maybe you just want one, you are a GROWN WOMAN, and you deserve it! TREAT YO SELF.

treat yo self gif

HEY! It’s time for people to give you presents, riiiiiiiight? Put it on your list! If you write it there, under “pony,” it looks totally reasonable!

Buy your Clarisonic from Sephora HERE.

Or, buy it directly from Clarisonic HERE.

Be wary about buying it from anywhere else, there are a lot of fakes out there. Don’t want to spend all that money on a knock off!

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Friday I'm in Love, Personal

Season of the Witch

ahs friday im in love

Oh man. I ate a ton of little candies last night. I got all hopped up on sugar, and then I crashed. I woke up this morning feeling terrible. Is this what kids feel like the day after Halloween, or, am I just an old lady? I don’t know, but I have a ton of candy left and I’m surfing the crimson wave, so I’m basically just going to sit on the candy bowl while I dump the rest of the bags into my mouth until I either stop or start crying. We’ll see how I’m feeling. Thanks for everything, body! You’re a real shithead sometimes.

Other than enduring a visit from Tia Rojo, this has been my first full week back to work here at the Lab Bunny in I don’t know how long. I am SPENT! I don’t know how some of these other blogs do so many posts a day. Don’t they have television shows to watch?!

Speaking of television shows, can we talk about American Horror Story aka The Reason TV Was Invented? I am a HUGE AHS fan. American Horror Story is my Breaking Bad. Like, Breaking Bad is a good show, I get it, but BB can eat it next to AHS. EAT. IT. Now, I’m not all the way through Breaking Bad yet, but I’m pretty sure Walter White never fell in love with the ghost of a school shooter, or became a possessed nun, or went to witch war against Ms. Tina Turner. Gimme a show where Dylan McDermott cries and jacks it at the same time, or give me nothing. This season is about female power, and I am INTO IT. Jessica Lange is fantastic, as usual, but I’m really excited about Frances Conroy’s character, Myrtle Snow. They’re so obviously dressing her as Grace Coddington, and she looks fucking fabulous. I can’t even take it.

Grace Coddington

Grace.

ahs

Myrtle.

I want those red, ruffled gloves so bad. When they made their appearance on Wednesday night’s show, I literally gasped. I’m not sure, but I’m pretty positive I’d never take them off.

When AHS is over at the end of the season, I am so, so sad. I wish it was on year round. This year, the first episode of the new season debuted a few days after my birthday, and it made me want to skip right over my birthday, just to get my show that much faster. You never know what’s going to happen on this show!! Like, making predictions are fun, but they never matter because they hardly ever come true. This year, I saw alligators come back from the dead and eat some dudes. Zombie alligators. Why? WHY NOT?!

First rule of AHS: You ALWAYS talk about AHS.

Second rule of AHS: Don’t ask why. “Why?” and AHS do not belong together.

Mad Men used to be my favorite show. Mad Men is still one of my favorite shows, but my passion for it has never reached AHS heights. I’m becoming an obsessed weirdo with a television show. Like Dr. Who people. Dr. Who people are nuts! But, I get it now! Dylan McDermott’s murder gazebo from Season 1 is like my magic phone booth, or whatever.

You guys. This season has Patti LuPone. LUUUUPOOOOONE. She’s a holy roller with shirtless hunks for sons who all live next door to a boarding school for teenage witches.

Sometimes, I think the writers just have a bunch of different words written on scraps of paper in a witch hat, and they just pull random ideas out of the hat and write a show. I love it. I really, really do.

I sat down to write a little post about my week, and it just ended up being about American Horror Story. So, you know what? Fuck it. Friday I’m in Love with American Horror Story. And I have every reason to believe it’s in love with me. This season, in particular, feels like a love letter to me. Every stage of my life has had its pop culture witches, The Witches, The Craft and now American Horror Story Coven. I’m all grown up now, and I like my witches to be POWER BITCHES with gorgeous outfits.

HASHTAGTHEWITCHISBACK. HASHTAGBLACKISTHENEWBLACK.

The first season is on Netflix. It’s scary and so funny. The second season hasn’t show up yet, and the third season is 4 episodes in. I’m not sure if you could pick it up right now, but maybe! Really, every week a new story develops, so you might as well try to jump in now!

 

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A man duhh, Friday I'm in Love, Personal

Jason Cosper Review and Pics

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Can I talk about something unrelated to makeup? I can, right? You guys are cool with that? I knew you would be!

Man. You guys are awesome.

You know who else is awesome?

jason bunny

THIS GUY.

I’m 100% sure it was my idea for him to wear my bunny hat, and since he’s a good sport and a hilarious dude, here we are.

Jason is always up for the joke. More importantly, he’s up for my jokes.

And let me tell you, I have got JOKES.

We just got back from a trip to Santa Barbara for our three year anniversary, so I’ve been spending a lot of time with this guy. I’m happy to say, that after a week of nearly 24/7 contact, I still really like him.

It was touch and go there for a minute when we were arguing in the car on the drive, but then we got to the hotel, and forgot all about it. We’re good like that; we can recover from a fight almost instantly if you distract us. We’re not even really mad, we’re just dumb.

Dumb idiots in love.

Dumb idiot know-it-all smarty pants sarcastic depressives in love.

sarah and jason

How did I ever go those first 24 years without him? What did I do? Was I happy?  Was I bored? It’s hard to remember now.

I bet I was so bored!

We’ve been together for almost 8 years now, and things haven’t been boring so far. Frustrating? Sometimes. Sexual? You know it! Boring? No way.

Well….

Maybe the Star Wars parts are boring. I prefer to talk about Indiana Jones or Planet of the Apes.

Cosper family

How did we get so lucky? How does anyone get so lucky?

I married the funniest, smartest dude I’ve ever met.

I’ve met a lot of funny ones.

A handful of smart ones.

Maybe three funny AND smart ones.

Only one Jason.

sarah and jason rings

GROSS.

We talk about everything, we fight about the things we need to fight about, we don’t stay mad for long, we hold hands in bed every night when we fall asleep. He encourages everything I ever want to do, he believes in me.

It was his idea to bring Rowdy home.

What would I do without him?

Oh, sick. I hate to even think about it.

In conclusion, since I will never stop being an angsty teen with a dark song in my heart, I’d like to leave you with a poem I wrote for him last year. He’s the only person who’s ever seen it. I really intended on keeping it that way, but I want to put it out there: I really love Jason Cosper.

A LOVE POEM FOR JASON

When we die,

I want my bones to be buried inside your bones.

My ribcage inside your ribcage

my spine locked together with yours

tibias, clavicles, teeth and fingers all mixed up.

It’s comforting to think about,

when I’m scaring myself with my own mortality,

this idea of us together.

It’s romantic to imagine,

when I’m paralyzed by fear.

Your bones guarding mine.

My bones touching yours.

Whatever happens next,

whether we see it or not,

I’d die knowing I’d be with you.

The earth above pressing us into each other.

Fusing us together.

Parted by death no more.

My bones inside your bones.

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Eyeshadow, Friday I'm in Love, MAC

MAC Trax Eyeshadow

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It’s my favorite fucking eyeshadow color of all time, ladies and gentlemen….the hardest working shadow in HO BUSINESS……

 mac trax 3

MAC TRAX!!! ($15)

Trax is a plummy-purple with a shifting gold shimmer to it. I’ve seen it described in other places online as a burgundy, but I really disagree with that.

It’s so beautiful as a light wash of color, or built up darker as an alternative to a traditional smoky eye colors. I wear it alone a lot, or with one of my gold shadows in the inner corner of my eyes, or lightly added over the top to intensify the gold in Trax. Natural, or dramatic, it really is a brilliant, versatile color.

mac trax 4

Doing makeup, I’ve used it on lots of different eye colors, and the result is always gorgeous. Purple is one of those colors that really makes a lot of other colors pop. Brown, green, blue, hazel…pretty much everyone looks good in purple and gold.

mac trax

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Trax is part of the permanent line at MAC, so you can just go pick it up. The color works in so many different ways, on so many different people, it would be a great addition to nearly every makeup bag. It’s like, my easiest way to look like I really did something to my makeup when I haven’t. Sometimes I use an aubergine colored pencil to line my eyes, sometimes I don’t, blush, mascara, nude gloss, BAM! FACE! I’M READY TO GO OUT!

Buy MAC Trax HERE.

 

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Education, Friday I'm in Love, How-To, Kevyn Aucoin

Making Faces by Kevyn Aucoin

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I had no idea what I was going to run for today’s Friday I’m in Love. I have something for next week, but that would call for a photo, and my hair is in no condition to be captured online for all eternity.

Have you guys noticed that my hair is always a mess? I feel like I talk about it nonstop. Seriously, if I didn’t think I would look exactly like my dad, I’d shave it off. Girls that can pull off shaved heads are dead sexy to me. Doesn’t it sound so freeing? My friend that does my hair would probably stab me to death with her scissors if I asked her to just shave it off. I like to make her do things to my hair she doesn’t want to do, but that would probably be too far. She’d snap!

Lucky for me, during a conversation with a friend last night, I mentioned this book, and my brain hamster started running on her wheel.

making faces

Making Faces by Kevyn Aucoin, $16.01

You’re looking at my own well loved, bruised and battered (mmm….battered) copy here. I’ve hauled this book around with me from house to apartment to pool house to house to apartment to house to apartment to house since 1999. You can’t tell from this picture, but the pages are coming loose and it’s full of random bookmarks. I love this book. I’m not exaggerating. I have actual love in my heart for this book. If they ever stopped printing it, I’d put my copy under lock and key, in an underground bunker, behind some of those lasers you can only get past if you do sexy butt wiggles all around them.

It’s like this: if George Michael’s video for “Too Funky” is my origin story, then Making Faces is my time spent on a Chinese mountain with Pai Mei, learning the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.

Kevyn Aucoin was an extremely gifted and talented artist. His techniques and advice still hold up, and even at nearly 15 years later, his looks aren’t dated. This book covers nearly everything you’d need to know about starting out in makeup, and taking your makeup to the next level. It has segments on skincare and prep, facial structure, shading and highlighting, brows, foundation, concealer, liner, lashes, lips and cheeks. It even has a little bit on cosmetic surgery. He doesn’t just tell you about eyeliner and lipsticks, he talks about different eye and lip shapes. He doesn’t just tell you about contouring, he shows you in an exaggerated, easy to follow way, where everything is supposed to go. He’ll teach you how to build a face that will highlight your best features, or, he’ll teach you how to completely cover your eyebrows so you can draw on new ones. This book is brilliant. Completely.

After he teaches you the basics of makeup, he shows you wearable looks for many, many, many different faces and occasions, following that with more in depth costume and heavy transformation looks. The step by step instructions are easy to follow and well illustrated, and the photos are totally stunning.

making faces courtney love

This is so beautiful, it hurts my heart.

I mean, look at freaking Courtney Love up there!! I’ll admit to having a soft spot for her looks through the years, disheveled and otherwise, but come on. This look, this photo, it’s really something ethereal.

SIDE NOTE: When I was, like, 13, I told my mom I wished I looked like Courtney Love and she was all, “LIKE A HEROIN ADDICT?!?!” And I was like, whoooah, yeesh, calm down. I just wanted to have real big boobs and be able to wear one of those clingy satiny dresses without rolls showing. Hey, one out of two ain’t bad.

All the years I’ve had this book, I still break it out to check myself. I feel like I can still learn from it, even though, not s my own d, my own makeup skills are above average.

Please, please buy this book for yourself. I promise you will be completely enthralled, entertained and educated.

Buy “Making Faces” HERE.

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Face, Friday I'm in Love, MAKE UP FOR EVER

MAKE UP FOR EVER HD Foundation

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mom and dad 1981

1981 – These dirty birds brought me into the world.

mom and dad 2005

2005 – I have more recent photos, but their dogs are hilarious.

My mom looks like Mexican Mary J. Blige, my dad looks like if Harold Ramis and William Shatner had a baby. There are a lot of great things about being biracial. Having a crazy skin tone that’s hard to match isn’t one of them.

They* say in a thousand years everyone will look like me. That by then, everybody will have humped each other into one race, and we’ll all be sort of brown. I think these are some science facts I heard. It seems right to me.

Those beautiful, caramel colored, future people are lucky because MAKE UP FOR EVER HD Foundation exists. They’ve already totally nailed our hard to match olive skin tone. Everyone is always trying to make me so pink! Or, so yellow! Or, so pale! I’m like, weirdly pale, but also brown. I often feel like I’m settling with the color of my foundations and powders. They’ll seem right at first, but soon I’ll feel like I’m looking really flushed, or like my jaw doesn’t match my neck. That’s really tough for someone who thinks about makeup as much as I do. Like, I have enough to worry about in photos. I don’t need this too!

MAKE UP FOR EVER HD Foundation

Sephora, $42

Until the time comes that there’s the need for only one foundation color, MAKE UP FOR EVER has 26 shades available, to cover a wide range of skin tones. This foundation has really great, buildable coverage that leaves a soft, flawless finish. I apply it, a couple pumps at a time, off the back of my hand, using my Sigma Beauty F80 Flat Kabuki brush, from the center of my face, out. I love it because it blends beautifully, and evens out my skin without totally covering my moles and freckles. I don’t want a totally flat face, you know? It doesn’t settle into lines and creases, and it doesn’t get gross or cakey looking throughout the day. It also works on different skin types, and ages. I’m more dry/combination, but my mom is very oily and she uses it too. Her skin tone is also very hard to match, and she was able to find a foundation that worked for her out of their line. That’s really saying something. My mom has been looking for a good match for, like, her entire life.

You don’t have to wear a powder over this foundation, I often don’t. But, if you want to, you can just use a light dusting of translucent powder.

I wanted to show you guys a photo. But, since I’ve had bronchitis for 5 days, I look really terrible right now. Like, really, I don’t even remember when I last washed my hair. Soooo….I went through my photos and found one that showed my face really close.

hd foundation face

I don’t look anything like that right now. And, it’s so embarrassing that I just have all these photos of my own posed face readily available. For whatever occasion! The judgmental way the dog looks at me when I’m in front of the lights, taking a thousand barely different pictures of myself, is enough to know that I should be ashamed.

But you know what I’m not ashamed of? How awesome my skin looks since I started using this foundation.

 

*Scientists? Worried racists? I swear I read this somewhere.

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