Floss Gloss, Nails

NEW Floss Gloss Resort 2014

Floss Gloss got a new color out this month, it’s a baaaaad mothafucker…

floss gloss lean

Lean, Floss Gloss, $8

I wish you guys could hear me when I’m referencing movies in my posts. It’d make my jokes better, I think. Just reread that first part in a “Day-Day pretending to be Baby D in Next Friday” voice.

This new electric purple polish from Floss Gloss, Lean, does look like a bad motherfucker though. Purple is my favorite color, so I am HERE FOR IT. I want it bad. Real bad. It looks like it wants me to kick winter in the teeth and welcome spring into my life. Which works for me because while the rest of the country is freezing its balls off, here in CA, it was 80 degrees last week! The trees are blooming, and we totally started fire season already. This sounds pretty ok, but it’s not. It’s bad! It’s kind of sad to see the trees all confused, and we’re in a terrible drought, so we’re pretty much under a statewide “Let it Mellow” order. So, yeah. While it’s not technically spring yet, it might as well be! BRING ON THE SPRING COLORS. HELLO TANK TOPS. Let me make the best of a bad situation. If this drought apocalypse goes down, I want this color on my nails to go with the shaved sides of my very butch, super cool new apocalypse haircut. Everybody gets cool new haircuts when everything falls apart. Like, right now, I don’t have my apocalypse hair because of society, but when society crumbles, it’s on. That’s probably when I adopt the eyepatch I always think about, too. An outfit for every occasion!

Obviously, I’d prefer to have this color now, while society still stands. I want to wear it to a party, not a motorcycle fight, or whatever. Right now, I’m broke, so I need us to hold it together until I can buy this polish for myself. Let it mellow, don’t wash your cars, turn the water off while you brush your teeth, whatever it takes! We can do this together!

Buy Lean by Floss Gloss HERE.

Lips, Urban Decay

Urban Decay Revolution Lipstick Spectacular

It’s an extravaganza!!!!!

UD black friday boxes

Urban Decay Revolution Lipsticks, $22 each

You guys remember back on Black Friday when Urban Decay had that amazing lipstick bundle? Six of their fabulous new Revolution Lipsticks for $50? Remember that? Remember how there was a very limited supply, but due to my vast internet shopping experience, fast fingers, and the blinding power of my exposed nipples, I was able to grab one? 


Well, my lipsticks came in and I just hoarded them. They’ve been sitting on my desk all this time, waiting to be photographed and swatched. Getting more and more irrelevant by the second. While some people were yelling at Urban Decay on Facebook about there not being enough lipstick bundles for everyone, mine were unopened. It’s almost enough to make me feel like an asshole. ALMOST. But, I don’t! Those are MY lipsticks, MINE! I’ll preserve them forever if I feel like it!

Am I arguing with someone? This post has become very combative. Sorry!!

The point is, I did not feel like preserving them forever. I felt like wearing them! Let’s look at them!


UD Native

Native is a warm, baby pink. It’s a lighter pink than I would usually try, but I was into it! It’s opaque, but the very light color made it easier to see lines when I pressed my lips together. It’s a pretty sexy color that would work great with a 60s inspired look. AKA my very favorite kind.


UD Naked

Naked was my favorite of the nude colors. It’s a warm, rosy pink, and it’s a total My Lips But Better lipstick. It has great opaque coverage, and didn’t show lines like Native did. I did actually open this one prior to yesterday, and I always love it.


UD protest

Protest is another color I might not have picked on my own. But, Urban Decay knew better than I did. It’s a nude-brown color with a sort of peachiness to it. Honestly, at first I sort of shrugged at the color, but the more I looked at it, the more I liked it. It sort of reminds me of the lipsticks I was wearing in the 90s, but better.


UD jilted

Jilted is an old favorite of mine! I’ve been wearing this color for YEARS, and I love, love, love it in the new formula. It’s an iridescent blue based fuchsia, so of course I love it!! In fact, Jilted might be the color that turned me on to blue based fuchsias in the first place. It’s a really special color because the blue is really prominent, and it looks cool as hell.


UD catfight

Catfight is another fuchsia, but it’s more pink than blue, and it has a red undertone to it. Some people would probably call it red, other people would maybe call it dark hot pink. I think everyone would call it dead sexy. The new UD formula really performs well with their reds, and Catfight is no exception. It’s a super fun color that would look great on a lot of people!

F Bomb

UD f bomb

F Bomb is described as a classic red, but I think it’s a little orangey. For me, this color was the standout of the bundle. I was in love the second I put it on! Again, their formula is a perfect match for these reds. The color payoff is fantastic, the finish is smooth and creamy and the coverage is amazing. I’ve been all about MAC’s reds for a long time, but F Bomb is going into the rotation. This is another red that would look good on a lot of people. It’s cool, but it’s almost warm and I think it’s very wearable. It’s even fantastic blotted down.

UD Black Friday bundle swatches

Urban Decay stepped up their game, did a lot of work on their lipsticks, and they’re a really beautiful, luxurious product now. The sugary fragrance is gone, and the obtrusive dagger handle is gone, but the bold colors we love are there. I adore these lipsticks, and I think they’re really worth the money. The new tube is sleek and easy to store, and the formula is moisturizing and long wearing, with the nudes averaging 3-4 hours, and the reds and pinks going as long as 6 hours.  I put every single one of these lipsticks into my “regular rotation” makeup bag because they are fabulous and basically perfect.

What do you guys think? Is there a UD color you’re dying to try? I really want the super dark ones, but I haven’t picked them up yet.

Buy Urban Decay’s Revolution Lipstick at Urban Decay, Sephora and Ulta.

Lips, Upcoming

Guess what I’ve been doing?!

ud lipstick diptic

Did you guess, “Really worrying about the Olympics?” Congratulations! That’s right! Did you guess, “swatching millions of lipsticks?” Amazing! That’s right, too. Full photos and product info tomorrow!