It’s been a long time since I talked about how my co-wash/no poo hair system was going, so let me do an update.

FUCK THIS.

I’m tempted to just say, “The End” now, but because seriously, FUCK THIS. But, I’ll spill my guts. You guys already know I have a dandruff problem, so we have no secrets.

Things were pretty ok for a while; I was doing the original plan of Suave conditioner as a cleanser followed by an apple cider vinegar rinse. My hair was pretty shiny at first, and my dandruff seemed to be clearing up. Then, things started to get dry. So, I tried several different sulfate free conditioners to try and give my hair more moisture. I went through salon brands, health food store brands, and back to salon brands before I found something from Pureology that seemed to work ok. Since we have terribly hard water, I also picked up a purifying shampoo from Pureology to use once a week. I figured this wasn’t a deal breaker on my plan since their products are all free of sulfates and the other harsh ingredients usually found in shampoo.

That was sort of semi ok for a while too.

Do you see the pattern?

I started to realize the Suave conditioner, on its own, was not going to work for me, that I probably needed something a little creamier and heavier to get through my thick, color treated hair. Enter L’Oreal Paris EverCreme Sulfate-Free Moisture System Cleansing Conditioner.

Amazon, $5.97

This had great reviews, and despite the AWFUL (burning plastic!) smell, it, too, seemed to work really well for me at first. But, guess what?

Did you guess this didn’t work out?!

If you did, you’re right! If you didn’t, you’re not paying attention to the theme of this post!

Besides my never ending issue with the HUGE amount of product I have to use to cleanse my hair with conditioner, it always took me forever to finally work it all the way through my scalp; I was having to section my hair off to get all of it, and that was a huge pain in the ass. My hair went right back to getting dry, and, like, matte feeling. Does that make sense? It looked and felt so dull. My roots felt different from the length of my hair, and that felt different from the ends of my hair. My dandruff got worse and worse, and my hair seemed like it was all just wanting to fall out. My hair is always falling out anyways, but this felt really different. This felt wrong.

*OH SHNAP! I was just writing this, and it was making me angry, then iTunes radio played “No Diggity,” and I’m starting to feel a little better. It’s ok, Sarah. Play on, player.*

The final straw came when I looked down at my shoulders over the weekend and I was totally disgusted by the flakes. I just can’t do this anymore. I really gave it a shot, and don’t think it’s for me. Maybe I was doing it wrong? I don’t fucking know. I don’t even care anymore. Dull, coarse, heavy, dandruff, DONE. I’m so happy I was smart enough to not throw away my last bottle of real shampoo in a fit of hubris. I broke out that bottle of Head & Shoulders, and went to town on my head. I conditioned with my Pureology conditioner, and my hair is so, so, so much better today. It’s softer, shinier, and sleeker. From root to tips, it’s all the same texture. See, kids? This is what happens when you’re never satisfied. There wasn’t really anything wrong with my hair to begin with, I was just bummed about using dandruff shampoo for the rest of my life, and I got caught up in the hope of a brighter, easier future. It was not to be. I was chasing a pipe dream. I’m back to washing my hair like a regular person. Head & Shoulders might not be the most glamorous shampoo out there, but dammit, it works for me. I gotta say, that one with the pink cap, the Smooth & Silky one? It’s a pretty nice shampoo. It gets my hair clean and shiny and it doesn’t smell like it might be burning my brain cells.

So? Who is this system for? I would say if you have curly, or frizzy hair, this will probably work for you better than it works for me. That L’Oreal cleansing conditioner has fawning reviews on Amazon and Ulta, so it works great for some hair types! If you have heavy, or mostly straight hair, you might want to stick to shampoo. But, everyone has a different head, different scalps, and whatnot. You never know! I wouldn’t want to discourage someone else from trying this, but if you do, and it doesn’t work, don’t feel bad. Play on, player!

I pulled the trigger on my new co-wash hair system last night, and it went pretty good!

First, before I even got in the shower, I, like, thoroughly brushed my hair with a big paddle brush. I always do this before I wash my hair. It’s my desperate attempt to cut down on the amount of hair I have to feel creepily sliding down my body in the shower. Judging by the Andre the Giant sized merkin in my drain right now, it might not work, but I do it anyways.

After I got my hair as wet as I could, I glopped a big puddle of my Suave Coconut Conditioner in my hand, and went to work on my roots. Working in sections, I scrubbed and scrubbed my scalp with the pads of my fingers, stopping to add more conditioner when I needed it. I tried to use as much conditioner as I felt was necessary to really clean my thick, longish hair. It was a lot, but what do I care? The family sized bottle of Suave cost $1.88. The need for so much product was one of my biggest problems with the Wen system. There was no way the bottle they sent was going to last me a month, and it cost $30. I’m sorry, but one of the reasons I went to beauty school was so I’d never have to pay $30 for a bottle of shampoo again.

When I felt like my scalp was good and clean, I added a little more conditioner and worked it through the length of my hair. I let it sit for a minute, then I rinsed my hair really well. From what I’ve read, the rinsing part is really important because you need the motion of the water to pick up the dirt and grime and carry it away since it doesn’t get stripped out by shampoo. Or something like that. I don’t know. I rinsed the shit outta my hair!

Then, I sprayed the apple cider vinegar/water mixture onto my hair, pulled it through with a wide toothed comb*, let it sit for a minute, and rinsed it really well.

I went to bed with my hair wet, and when I woke up this morning, it looked pretty good!

Please excuse my new mystery bruise and my, once again, makeup free face.

My waves were really wavy and defined, my hair has lots of volume, and everything is pretty shiny.

UM. I just remembered I didn’t put any moroccan oil on my hair last night, and that makes this morning’s outcome even better! I was going to say it looks like it usually does when my hair dries on a really good day. But, my hair drying like this with no additional product is pretty amazing! That’s the dream, right? Hair that looks good all by itself. Like, you could walk out of any situation and look fucking gorgeous because your hair just IS fucking gorgeous.

Honestly, you guys, even if today is a fluke, and I ultimately end up with a disgusting greasy head and a jones for shampoo, I won’t care. I love doing stuff like this. It’s so much fun. And besides, I’ll never know if it works if I don’t try it! That’s my motto. Worked out for me with Weight Watchers and vodka, why not co-washing?!

*You really shouldn’t put any combs or brushes in your hair when they’re wet. I was just checking to see if the vinegar was really detangling like the internet said it should. It was.