You guys. That new Beyonce album dropped and I fell out. But, ever since then, I’ve been on a nonstop Vitamin Bey regimen. So, now I’m stronger than ever! No lie, my abs hurt because I’ve basically been dancing for four days straight. Just nonstop booty pops.

I’ve been feeling kind of uninspired lately. This blog can be tough for me sometimes because it’s not just about makeup, it’s also about writing. It’s hard for me to bring myself to write a lackluster, bare bones post about a product when I’m just not feeling the words. I hate it, and I wish knew how to write on command, but I don’t. I try to pump out something every day, but when the creativity isn’t there, it’s just not there. I’ve been getting stagnant while product just piles up on my desk. I haven’t even used my Naked3 palette. Isn’t that sad?

When I get blah like that, everything gets blah. I’d look in the mirror and not feel like putting makeup on because my hair has been looking like butt, my eyebrows were overgrown and I’ve been dealing with a breakout. Like, fuck putting all that time into my face when my eyebrows look like that. I needed a big change to shake myself up!

You get used to doing things a certain way, you know how to make it look good, but that’s no fun forever. I always want a new look! But, what? The biggest beauty change is always hair related, right? I don’t want bangs anyone, I don’t want long hair anymore, I don’t want the coppery color anymore, but what DO I want?

That’s where I always get stuck.

Over the years, I’ve tried to adopt a detached attitude to my hair. It’s just hair. It’ll grow back, you know? So, the problem isn’t that I’m scared of cutting my hair, the problem is that I can never decide HOW to cut my hair. My friend that usually does my hair takes a hands off approach to this part. Since we’re not just customer/client, we’re also ex-coworkers, party friends, and birthday week buddies, this adds an extra layer of trickiness. She worries about taking big risks because she doesn’t want to be responsible for something I end up hating, and I want her to tell me what to do. We frequently end up at this impasse. So, with her blessing, I went to another hairdresser to try and get a different perspective. It worked out great! Working with someone who doesn’t know all my annoying client quirks was just what I needed.

I went in, took a bunch of different pictures, told her I needed something big, and man, did I get it.

DO YOU LOVE IT?! I LOVE IT!!

I’ve wanted a color like this for years! But, as I got into my late twenties and then my thirties, I convinced myself that I was too old. I’d look at pictures of hair colored like this, and just hem and haw. I almost didn’t go through with it this time! I’m so glad I did though! My only condition was that if my hair was going to be blue, the cut had to be sophisticated. I’m sorry, but I really do think I’m too old to pull off super long blue hair. But that’s ok! I didn’t want that anyways!

Beauty risks are so fucking scary. What if you hate it? What if it looks terrible? What if people think you look stupid? We get so stuck on the negative what ifs, that I think we forget to think about the positive ifs. Like, what if you look fucking amazing? What if a modeling scout sees you and you become a superstar? What if you love it? If nobody is telling you you can’t do something, why do we tell ourselves? We’re our own worst enemies. We’ll stand on the metaphorical edge of a big decision cliff, look down and say, “I can’t jump! What if I fall?!” But, we rarely stop to consider the possibility that we could fly. What if you could fly all along but you never knew because you never tried? That’s not just hair, that’s life, bbs! It sounds like such corny bullshit, but it’s a concept I struggle with often. It takes mighty big ovaries to step outside of our comfort zones, but it’s always worth it. Even when we fail, it’s a success, because we tried. This is dumb too, but it’s like when I decided to try being a blonde. It looked terrible, but at least I found out! I could stop wondering about it, and file it away. And really, that’s the worst that can happen. It looks bad. No big deal, everything is fixable with enough color and time!

Regrets are stupid and indecision is the worst. Sometimes, you just have to jump.