Oh man. I ate a ton of little candies last night. I got all hopped up on sugar, and then I crashed. I woke up this morning feeling terrible. Is this what kids feel like the day after Halloween, or, am I just an old lady? I don’t know, but I have a ton of candy left and I’m surfing the crimson wave, so I’m basically just going to sit on the candy bowl while I dump the rest of the bags into my mouth until I either stop or start crying. We’ll see how I’m feeling. Thanks for everything, body! You’re a real shithead sometimes.

Other than enduring a visit from Tia Rojo, this has been my first full week back to work here at the Lab Bunny in I don’t know how long. I am SPENT! I don’t know how some of these other blogs do so many posts a day. Don’t they have television shows to watch?!

Speaking of television shows, can we talk about American Horror Story aka The Reason TV Was Invented? I am a HUGE AHS fan. American Horror Story is my Breaking Bad. Like, Breaking Bad is a good show, I get it, but BB can eat it next to AHS. EAT. IT. Now, I’m not all the way through Breaking Bad yet, but I’m pretty sure Walter White never fell in love with the ghost of a school shooter, or became a possessed nun, or went to witch war against Ms. Tina Turner. Gimme a show where Dylan McDermott cries and jacks it at the same time, or give me nothing. This season is about female power, and I am INTO IT. Jessica Lange is fantastic, as usual, but I’m really excited about Frances Conroy’s character, Myrtle Snow. They’re so obviously dressing her as Grace Coddington, and she looks fucking fabulous. I can’t even take it.

Grace.

Myrtle.

I want those red, ruffled gloves so bad. When they made their appearance on Wednesday night’s show, I literally gasped. I’m not sure, but I’m pretty positive I’d never take them off.

When AHS is over at the end of the season, I am so, so sad. I wish it was on year round. This year, the first episode of the new season debuted a few days after my birthday, and it made me want to skip right over my birthday, just to get my show that much faster. You never know what’s going to happen on this show!! Like, making predictions are fun, but they never matter because they hardly ever come true. This year, I saw alligators come back from the dead and eat some dudes. Zombie alligators. Why? WHY NOT?!

First rule of AHS: You ALWAYS talk about AHS.

Second rule of AHS: Don’t ask why. “Why?” and AHS do not belong together.

Mad Men used to be my favorite show. Mad Men is still one of my favorite shows, but my passion for it has never reached AHS heights. I’m becoming an obsessed weirdo with a television show. Like Dr. Who people. Dr. Who people are nuts! But, I get it now! Dylan McDermott’s murder gazebo from Season 1 is like my magic phone booth, or whatever.

You guys. This season has Patti LuPone. LUUUUPOOOOONE. She’s a holy roller with shirtless hunks for sons who all live next door to a boarding school for teenage witches.

Sometimes, I think the writers just have a bunch of different words written on scraps of paper in a witch hat, and they just pull random ideas out of the hat and write a show. I love it. I really, really do.

I sat down to write a little post about my week, and it just ended up being about American Horror Story. So, you know what? Fuck it. Friday I’m in Love with American Horror Story. And I have every reason to believe it’s in love with me. This season, in particular, feels like a love letter to me. Every stage of my life has had its pop culture witches, The Witches, The Craft and now American Horror Story Coven. I’m all grown up now, and I like my witches to be POWER BITCHES with gorgeous outfits.

HASHTAGTHEWITCHISBACK. HASHTAGBLACKISTHENEWBLACK.

The first season is on Netflix. It’s scary and so funny. The second season hasn’t show up yet, and the third season is 4 episodes in. I’m not sure if you could pick it up right now, but maybe! Really, every week a new story develops, so you might as well try to jump in now!