I want my hair to look like this, so I’ve been sitting here in front of my makeup mirror for, like, an hour, watching YouTube videos, trying to learn how to french braid. Because nobody ever taught me how to do it, MOM.
My arms feel like they’re going to fall off. How many WW Activity Points will all this exercise get me?
I remember the first time a set of bangs really hit me. I was in the 8th grade on a school trip to Sacramento, hanging out in some music/head/sticker shop, when I saw her….
OUR LADY OF PERPETUAL BANGS
A cardboard cutout of Bettie Page sitting next to the register, wearing a sign about punishing shoplifters around her neck, was a shock to my system. It was love at first sight! It wasn’t just the hair, obviously, she’s an icon for a reason. But, her hair is iconic for a reason too.
I left Sacramento a changed woman.
Two years later, when I was 15, I cut my hair like Uma’s in Pulp Fiction, and I kept the bangs until I was 29. Then, I decided I needed to take a break and try life without bangs for a little while. I grew my bangs out, and then grew out the rest of my hair until everything was nearly to my waist. It was like hitting reset on my head!
I didn’t realize how much of my daily routine was centered around making sure my bangs weren’t messed up. I mean, the way I sleep on my pillow, STILL, just out of the force of nearly 15 years of habit, was at the angle least likely to cause crazy morning bangs. So, life without bangs was pretty easy. I didn’t have to really do anything to my hair anymore. I could just let it air dry, and 9 times out of 10, it would look good.
But then, I started getting really bored. I felt like my hair always looked so blah. I’d see some good bangs on TV, and I’d get wistful.
We both have big crushes on The B in Apt. 23. LOOK AT HER! Those eyes, those lips, THOSE BANGS!
Please be our girlfriend, The B. We’ll treat you right.
So….EXPERIMENT OVER!
BOUT DAT BANGS LYFE
I went in on Friday afternoon determined to make a change. Besides the bangs, we lighened up my hair quite a bit, and threw in some different tones all over. I NEVER do stuff like that. I like to keep my hair pretty much one color, and that color is, “VERY DARK.” Like, seriously, do not come near me with foils. But, I went for it anyways because what the fuck, right? If we never try new things, we have no way to know if we like them. When it comes to your hair, you just have to jump sometimes!
We even did my hair with my back to the mirror like on “What Not to Wear,” so it would be really extra scary when it was time to turn around! I’m terrible at hiding my true emotions, and there was a very real chance I’d burst into tears if I saw my reflection and thought I’d made a terrible decision. When I saw that old familiar fringe peeking at me from above my eyes, I was like, “Oh shit,” so I was worried.
My friend dusted the little pieces of hair off my face, took off the cape, spun me around, and then we both lost our minds because it looked AMAZING! I didn’t cry!
I *did* startle the hell out of myself the next morning in the mirror though.
Since I could not stay away from bangs for long, I gave us a cool new couples nickname.
I’m The Bangs.
This is The Beard.
The Beard and The Baby
The Bangs & The Beard.
I’m pretty happy with my hair now. I love the color, and it’s nice to have my bangs again. But, we’ll see. I’m nothing if not finicky! The last time I cut bangs I kept them for half my life; but now, I’m not scared to grow them out because I know it isn’t that bad. See! I never would have known that if I hand’t stepped outside my comfort zone and grown them out in the first place!
Full fledged Bangs Sisterhood enrollment is back in effect! I’m a card carrying, lifetime member.
I wish I was this coconut.
“I have a question. How would you use an oil in your hair without your hair looking oily. I want to start using coconut oil in my hair but HOW?!?!” – Denys
Good question, D! I don’t want you to end up with a greasy mop on top.
When you start using ANY type of oil on your hair, there are two big things to remember that will go a long way towards keeping you shiny pretty and not stringy ugly: First, start with a small amount of oil and work up to more. You can always add extra oil if you need it, but you won’t be able to take care of it easily if you overdo it. Second, you always want to work from the ends of your hair, up. Unless you’re doing a deep conditioning, your roots don’t need the extra oil, but your ends do.
For coconut oil, specifically, use an organic virgin or extra virgin oil. Since it’s solid, you’ll want to melt it, or warm it up in your hands before using it. You can use it in day to day applications by running a small amount through your hair, from the ends to about your ears. Since water repels oil, dry hair works best. The internet says you can use dry shampoo to take care of accidental coconut oil overload, so even if you mess it up by using too much or going to high, there’s still hope.
If you want to use it as a deep conditioner, you can go crazy with it! Glop a whole bunch of it into your hair, massage it into your scalp, really thoroughly coat everything from root to tip, and then wrap it up in a shower cap. If you don’t have a shower cap, you can use plastic wrap. Shower caps are just easier, I always bring them home from hotels. Let the oil sit on your hair for at least 30 minutes, then shampoo it out. When deep conditioning, you can leave your treatment on for as long as you want, really. You can sleep in it if you’re so inclined, although I think that’s dangerous business. I used to do that kind of thing when I was a kid, but that seems like so much trouble now. You can also warm your hair while it’s in the shower cap or plastic wrap with a blow dryer set to low to really help the oil penetrate. I do that when I’m feeling particularly ambitious with my deep conditioners, so, you know, not often. It works though!
With any new beauty treatment/skill, the key is always practice. You might really fuck it up the first time, but probably not the 5th or 6th time. Stick with it, and let me know how it goes!
I pulled the trigger on my new co-wash hair system last night, and it went pretty good!
First, before I even got in the shower, I, like, thoroughly brushed my hair with a big paddle brush. I always do this before I wash my hair. It’s my desperate attempt to cut down on the amount of hair I have to feel creepily sliding down my body in the shower. Judging by the Andre the Giant sized merkin in my drain right now, it might not work, but I do it anyways.
After I got my hair as wet as I could, I glopped a big puddle of my Suave Coconut Conditioner in my hand, and went to work on my roots. Working in sections, I scrubbed and scrubbed my scalp with the pads of my fingers, stopping to add more conditioner when I needed it. I tried to use as much conditioner as I felt was necessary to really clean my thick, longish hair. It was a lot, but what do I care? The family sized bottle of Suave cost $1.88. The need for so much product was one of my biggest problems with the Wen system. There was no way the bottle they sent was going to last me a month, and it cost $30. I’m sorry, but one of the reasons I went to beauty school was so I’d never have to pay $30 for a bottle of shampoo again.
When I felt like my scalp was good and clean, I added a little more conditioner and worked it through the length of my hair. I let it sit for a minute, then I rinsed my hair really well. From what I’ve read, the rinsing part is really important because you need the motion of the water to pick up the dirt and grime and carry it away since it doesn’t get stripped out by shampoo. Or something like that. I don’t know. I rinsed the shit outta my hair!
Then, I sprayed the apple cider vinegar/water mixture onto my hair, pulled it through with a wide toothed comb*, let it sit for a minute, and rinsed it really well.
I went to bed with my hair wet, and when I woke up this morning, it looked pretty good!
Please excuse my new mystery bruise and my, once again, makeup free face.
My waves were really wavy and defined, my hair has lots of volume, and everything is pretty shiny.
UM. I just remembered I didn’t put any moroccan oil on my hair last night, and that makes this morning’s outcome even better! I was going to say it looks like it usually does when my hair dries on a really good day. But, my hair drying like this with no additional product is pretty amazing! That’s the dream, right? Hair that looks good all by itself. Like, you could walk out of any situation and look fucking gorgeous because your hair just IS fucking gorgeous.
Honestly, you guys, even if today is a fluke, and I ultimately end up with a disgusting greasy head and a jones for shampoo, I won’t care. I love doing stuff like this. It’s so much fun. And besides, I’ll never know if it works if I don’t try it! That’s my motto. Worked out for me with Weight Watchers and vodka, why not co-washing?!
*You really shouldn’t put any combs or brushes in your hair when they’re wet. I was just checking to see if the vinegar was really detangling like the internet said it should. It was.
When it comes to my beauty regimen, I’m never satisfied, and I’m always trying new products. But for my hair, I’ve sort of been stuck using Head & Shoulders not matter what. I don’t know if I really have dandruff, because the H&S never completely clears anything up. Any other shampoos I’ve tried have definitely made things worse though.
That’s me. Weirdo dandruff queen/compulsive liar.
So. I’m going to stop using shampoo altogether.
I’ve been hearing for years that adopting the “no-poo” method will do amazing things for your hair. Supposedly, cutting harsh surfactants and detergents out of your haircare regimen can clear up dandruff, make your hair shinier, smoother and stronger, and can make curly/kinky hair more defined and manageable. That all sounds too good to be true, but when you start looking into it, it makes sense! So, I figured I should just go for it. If my hair turns greasy and/or disgusting, I can just say it’s for science and people will have to MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS.
Here’s what I’m going to use if you want to try it with me:
I’m going to start washing my hair with Suave Naturals Tropical Coconut Conditioner
In the shower, I’m going to wash my hair with this conditioner, really thoroughly scrubbing my scalp with my finger pads to break up any dirt or grease, before rinsing like normal.
Then, I’m going to condition my hair with an apple cider vinegar rinse. The apple cider vinegar is supposed to detangle, and seal the cuticle, making your hair really shiny. It’s also supposed to help with the dandruff issue.
You’re supposed to use a raw, organic apple cider vinegar; I bought Bragg Organic Apple Cider Vinegar at one of my local health food stores. Then, I mixed up a 1:1 ratio of vinegar to water and put it in a spray bottle.
After co-washing (co-washing means “conditioner washing,” and it doesn’t make me cringe with embarrassment like the words, “no-poo”), I’m going to spray the vinegar rinse on my hair, let it sit for a minute, then rinse rinse rinse so I don’t smell like a delicious salad dressing.
I like that both of these products were cheap and easy to find. As much as I love having things other people don’t, I really hate having to search all over for something simple I’m trying to buy. I get resentful of products that make me do a lot of work just to fork over money.
It’s supposed to take a few weeks for your hair to adjust to having to overcompensate for the oils being regularly stripped out of it, so you might be greasier than usual. I plan on putting my rubber bands, claws and hair ties to work on keeping it looking decent.
OR
This look is due for a comeback!
Anybody else want to do this with me? It might be cool to get a few other different hair types, lengths and styles in on this! FOR SCIENCE.
You can read a lot more about the co-washing method HERE. That post has the answers to pretty much any question you might have.
I saw Khloe’s hair on KUWTK this week, and I was like, WHAAAAT?! This would look awesome on me!
I gotta find that ribbon!
Over the weekend, I said on the Lab Bunny Facebook page that Wen wasn’t worth it. To be fair, when I said this, I may or may not have been in an altered state.
That doesn’t have anything to do with whether or not Wen is worth it, I just want you guys to know I party. Don’t worry, I’m cool. I know the score.
I know the score about Wen too. To be (actually) fair, I tried Wen about a year ago. But, after I posted that to Facebook a couple days ago, I had a request for more information, and I’m happy to share my experience.
I purchased the Wen system in April of last year. As you can imagine, this was a very exciting time for me. The Wen infomercial used to be one of my favorite late night shows. I’d watch it over and over, making Wen one of those “I want it so bad but I can’t make myself spend the money” products, so when I happened upon whatever sale, coupon code, or twists in logic that allowed me to finally buy it, I was beyond thrilled. Obviously, this was going to be the answer to all my hair problems.
Hair problems include: 20 years of near nonstop coloring, the kind of texture that has been referred to as “horse-like” by stylists on more than once occasion, a refusal to air dry sexy and smooth, tons of shedding, heavy, semi-coarse, with a tendency to just lay there and be all dull, grease, and, ok….’druff. Ew. That’s the most embarrassing thing I’ve admitted to on this site so far.
At the time, my hair was really long; past my bra, nearly down to the small of my back. That length + thickness = a massive amount of hair. I mean, I can wash my hair at night, and it will still be damp in the morning. My buns and ponytails are so heavy, they give me headaches. It’s a lot to manage. I don’t want to sound like one of those people that complains about things that other people covet, but the grass is always greener, blah blah blah.
Right off the bat, there was an issue. The bottle was only 16 oz., but for long hair, they recommended using something like 12-15 pumps worth of product. At that rate, I would have been through that $30, “month long supply” in just a couple weeks. So, after the first few times, I realized I couldn’t keep using it at that pace, and I had to work with a smaller amount. This led me to wonder if I was even getting the full effect of the system, or if it was just one of those things companies do to make you use up your purchase quickly so you have to buy more. It was aggravating. I don’t like being swindled. This guy wasn’t going to pull the wool over my eyes!
Gorrrrrrl, please.
So, this product is more expensive than my usual salon brand products, they’re going to automatically charge me $90 (!!!) next month if I forget to cancel my subscription in time, AND they want me to use a ton of it? Ok. Does it work? Depends on your definition of “work.” My hair was clean, so it accomplished the bare minimum. Did it deliver on anything that infomercial promised? No. Not really. Not for me anyways. There was no discernible difference in the texture or look of my hair. It didn’t look any smoother, my scalp wasn’t healthier, nothing really happened. From what I could tell, it’s the same concept as the “no-poo” method. It’s just washing your hair without shampoo. For $30 a month.
I used it for a little while, and it was just making me angry. So, I gave it to my Wen-curious friend, Erin, so she could give it a shot. Her hair is very different than mine, so I asked her to share her experience too:
“I have been plagued by fluffy hair. Because of my hair fluff condition, I keep my hair very short. I do like my short hair, but I have recurring dreams where my hair is long and luscious and I just sit and brush it lovingly. So when I saw the infomercial for Wen, I not only watched it in its entirety, but I have probably watched that same infomercial 5 or 6 times since it began airing. I thought this would be the product that would finally tame the fluff and allow me to live my dream of having long, luscious, brushable hair. Luckily for me, I have a wonderful and beautiful friend who was kind enough to give me the last two inches left in her bottle of Wen after she decided that it sucks. My final review? Well, I wouldn’t say that it sucks, but my hair never stopped being fluffy, and I would definitely say you could get the same results out of a big bottle of Suave conditioner. After washing with Wen and noting that it felt like washing my hair with conditioner, I did a little research and found that washing with conditioner is indeed a thing. I started a new conditioner-washing regimen and my hair became shinier, softer, and generally more healthy-looking. So basically what Wen did for me was prompt me to seek out a (much) less expensive alternative.”
There you go. Two different types of hair, the same experience.
Also, Erin is absolutely right that you can just wash your hair with regular conditioner. It’s one of the no-poo options. Conditioners generally have enough surfactants in them to clean your hair without the other things in shampoo that do damage. I haven’t tried it though, I’m chicken. Maybe this week I’ll hit the beauty supply, get a new conditioner and give it a shot. I HATE the conditioner I have now, but that’s a whole other review that isn’t even worth writing.
You can buy Wen from Amazon now, so if you still want to try it, do that. That way you don’t have to sign up and remember to cancel your account before they charge you and ship out the next 3 months worth of product.
And hey, if you want to buy something from a hypnotic and persuasive informercial, buy Zumba. I give Zumba two thumbs up.
“It’s not that crazy, I promise.
Step 1. Start with clean dry hair.
…
Step 25. Spray all over with a finishing hairspray.”
HAHAHAHA. GOOD ONE.
I spent a considerable amount of time last night analyzing this Party Prep Pony tutorial from The Beauty Department, and I can not, for the fucking life of me, figure it out. Best I can tell, you tie your hair into a series of knots. Is it just me? Am I an idiot?
