I remember the first time a set of bangs really hit me. I was in the 8th grade on a school trip to Sacramento, hanging out in some music/head/sticker shop, when I saw her….
OUR LADY OF PERPETUAL BANGS
A cardboard cutout of Bettie Page sitting next to the register, wearing a sign about punishing shoplifters around her neck, was a shock to my system. It was love at first sight! It wasn’t just the hair, obviously, she’s an icon for a reason. But, her hair is iconic for a reason too.
I left Sacramento a changed woman.
Two years later, when I was 15, I cut my hair like Uma’s in Pulp Fiction, and I kept the bangs until I was 29. Then, I decided I needed to take a break and try life without bangs for a little while. I grew my bangs out, and then grew out the rest of my hair until everything was nearly to my waist. It was like hitting reset on my head!
I didn’t realize how much of my daily routine was centered around making sure my bangs weren’t messed up. I mean, the way I sleep on my pillow, STILL, just out of the force of nearly 15 years of habit, was at the angle least likely to cause crazy morning bangs. So, life without bangs was pretty easy. I didn’t have to really do anything to my hair anymore. I could just let it air dry, and 9 times out of 10, it would look good.
But then, I started getting really bored. I felt like my hair always looked so blah. I’d see some good bangs on TV, and I’d get wistful.
We both have big crushes on The B in Apt. 23. LOOK AT HER! Those eyes, those lips, THOSE BANGS!
Please be our girlfriend, The B. We’ll treat you right.
BOUT DAT BANGS LYFE
I went in on Friday afternoon determined to make a change. Besides the bangs, we lighened up my hair quite a bit, and threw in some different tones all over. I NEVER do stuff like that. I like to keep my hair pretty much one color, and that color is, “VERY DARK.” Like, seriously, do not come near me with foils. But, I went for it anyways because what the fuck, right? If we never try new things, we have no way to know if we like them. When it comes to your hair, you just have to jump sometimes!
We even did my hair with my back to the mirror like on “What Not to Wear,” so it would be really extra scary when it was time to turn around! I’m terrible at hiding my true emotions, and there was a very real chance I’d burst into tears if I saw my reflection and thought I’d made a terrible decision. When I saw that old familiar fringe peeking at me from above my eyes, I was like, “Oh shit,” so I was worried.
My friend dusted the little pieces of hair off my face, took off the cape, spun me around, and then we both lost our minds because it looked AMAZING! I didn’t cry!
I *did* startle the hell out of myself the next morning in the mirror though.
Since I could not stay away from bangs for long, I gave us a cool new couples nickname.
I’m The Bangs.
This is The Beard.
The Beard and The Baby
The Bangs & The Beard.
I’m pretty happy with my hair now. I love the color, and it’s nice to have my bangs again. But, we’ll see. I’m nothing if not finicky! The last time I cut bangs I kept them for half my life; but now, I’m not scared to grow them out because I know it isn’t that bad. See! I never would have known that if I hand’t stepped outside my comfort zone and grown them out in the first place!
Full fledged Bangs Sisterhood enrollment is back in effect! I’m a card carrying, lifetime member.