White Noise

Years and years ago, the first time I asked my homegirl/manicurist/salon coworker to do my nails white, she told me no. She told me it was going to look ugly, and that she didn’t want to have any part of it. We had disagreements like this all the time. When she finally did it, after I swore she’d bear no responsibility for the outcome, she looked at my AWESOME nails and had to admit they looked dope as hell. Like, a month later, I randomly found a little blurb in a magazine about white nails being a new trend to watch for, and I was all, “I TOLD YOU! IN YO FACE!” So gracious, as usual.

I love to do my nails white. I encourage other people to do their nails white. I think it looks just as cool as my good old favorite nail color, black.

Last week, I had an upcoming nail appointment, and I was trying to figure out what I was going to have done. I saw this photo of Kate Moss for Vogue UK June 2013, and I knew I wanted my nails like that!


I had my nails did professionally, but you can tackle the look at home. Doing your nails like this does involve more patience than most other colors. It’s really easy to end up with streaky or chalky nails. You really have to be careful to apply your polish a little on the thick side and very evenly, letting it dry in between coats.

Making my nails look like Kate’s is about the best I can do. I’m not even saying I can get my fingers to look like hers. I am saying just the nails. Her hands are all graceful and skinny; I am working with los chorizo fingers.


white nails

Pretty cool, right? Please don’t look at the ugly damage I’ve nervously picked into the sides of my fingers. Ignore that completely. That doesn’t concern you!

Coming soon: The cute Cynthia Rowley Band-Aids I had to buy to cover my gross fingers, so I’ll leave them alone FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

For some reason, white nails can befuddle some manicurists. A friend recently told me that when she asked for an all white manicure at a chop shop, they were confused that she didn’t mean she wanted a French manicure. A FRENCH MANICURE?! WHAT?! WHY?!

I mean, THAT is a confusing choice.

Make it happen! Sally Hansen White Out, $2.99


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