Pink Velvet, Lime Crime, $20, Penelopy, Quay Australia, $39.95

I got a shopping email this morning about bathing suits. This was very stressful for me because it is February, and I was under the assumption that I had at least four more months to lose a million pounds and find totally new thighs before I had to think about swimming attire. What does this mean for swimsuit options in June? And why did I eat all that bread this afternoon?  What will become of the rest of the bread?

SPOILER ALERT: I STILL EAT THE BREAD.

So, ok. I’m not ready for a swimsuit yet. I’m ready to think about other summer related things though! Hence the sunglasses. I was just going to lie and say that I was doing a post about makeup and I decided to throw the sunglasses on for fun. Actually, I just wanted to take pictures of my sunglasses. I’ll come clean. This is a safe space, right? I really like to look at myself when I’m wearing these sunglasses, so I paired them with something else I obsess about in the mirror; my Velvetine liquid lipstick from Lime Crime in Pink Velvet.

This lip product is so rad! It goes on almost like a gloss, but it dries like a stain. I guess you can sort of compare it to how the OCC Lip Tars work, but Pink Velvet isn’t as gooey. It starts out a thin, glossy liquid, but it’s fully opaque in two coats and it dries totally matte.

Pink Velvet dries quickly, and once it does, it feels almost nonexistent on the lips. Similar liquid lip products can make your lips feel sticky or all scratchy. This just doesn’t really feel like anything. That’s not to say it’s moisturizing in any way, it’s not. But, it doesn’t make your lips all dry and flaky. Besides being totally sexy, the matte finish is also SUPER long wearing. It will last through pretty much anything! I’ve even had a difficult time trying to remove it on purpose. So, maybe don’t just rub at it forever with toilet paper, you’ll stain the area around your mouth pink and you’ll definitely get toilet paper lint on your tongue. Take it from me, a little vaseline or some oil will take it right off. I use my Badger Damascus Rose Oil to remove it. The oil cleans off my lipstick and it adds some hydration to my lips. It’s a pretty good system, if I do say so myself.

I really love this product. I want the red Velvetine and I am definitely eyeing some of the upcoming colors. I love a lip color that takes care of itself! Looks hot AND, once it’s on, I don’t have to think about it! MAMA LIKE. I am going to plan lots of summer bbq outfits around this Pink Velvet/polka dot sunglasses combo. I am going to eat up all the potato salad and drink all the beer and my lipstick will still look beautiful.

Wait.

If I’m going to eat all the potato salad and drink all the beer, I’m never going to find a swimsuit I like…

BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR BATHING SUIT, YOU HATEFUL PIECE OF EXPENSIVE FABRIC.

Buy Lime Crime Velvetine in Pink Velvet HERE.