I burned Amanduhhh, you guys. That big crybaby.
If you’re so sad about it, STAY HOME. Don’t bring your emotions to this cool party! Right?!
You too, Mike Dexter. You animal.
Annnyways, I’ve had a couple people ask me for product suggestions for their dudes, so I wanted to share some of the tried and true man maintainers that we have around here.
Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Castile Soap
The clean rinsing formula combined with the (alleged [but I think it’s true]) antibacterial properties of peppermint oil make Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Soap a really great man wash. It almost works too well. When I first met Jason, he was an esthetician’s dream, covered in ingrown hairs and blackheads; then he started using this stuff, and he became less fun to pick at with tweezers. It’s good, I guess. If I’m not being selfish, it’s good.
Supposedly, there are 18 different uses for this soap. As far as I know, we’ve only used it for the one, but you never know where life will take you!
Another great thing about this soap is that since it’s covered in the rambling words of a 3 time mental hospital escapee, you’ve always got stuff to look at in the shower.
Neutrogena Men Razor Defense Daily Face Scrub
This exfoliating scrub softens and cleans the skin, while preparing the face for shaving. The exfoliating beads are good at getting dry and flaky skin, and all the gross crud dudes collect in their pores. Since Manimal started using this cleanser, his skin has been clearer and less zit prone.
Over the last 7 years, I’ve bought Jason countless face cleansers, in all different price ranges. For whatever reason, this is the one he’ll actually use. Who knows how dudes’ minds work? They’re so complicated! It’s like, whatever baby, I don’t have time to figure you out. Now, less talky, more cocky.
Wild Man Beard Conditioner
Jason has a sort of legendary beard. People love it! I love it. He looks super sexual and scruffy, but sometimes, he smells like a wet dog. Also, I know his beard is getting out of control right now, because I saw corn chips, ice cream sandwich, cheese, croissant and lettuce all lodged in his beard at some point over the weekend. It’s time to clean that bad boy up!
This product is sort of wishful thinking on my part, actually. Jason does own it, and it does work great. It cleans and softens his beard, makes it smell GOOD, and it moisturizes the often neglected skin under his beard.
BUT. That’s just one daily step too many for ‘ol J-Bone. So, the beard conditioner is a very special occasion thing.
I’d like to get that clean, soft beard on my neck on the reg, but, I guess I’ll settle for the one that has Del Taco in it. I like Del Taco!
There you go! My first three manswers to your man prayers.
These products are all recommended if you want your guy to look like this:
BIG WEIRDO I LOVE.