Aging, Personal, Skincare

Sarah now Clara

mom and sarah chis


A recent British survey says that most women “turn into” their mothers at 31. I saw this, and didn’t really think anything of it until, one morning recently, when I found myself sitting outside at an ungodly hour, drinking coffee, with a chihuahua stuffed inside my robe.

I texted her and demanded she answer for her brujeria. But, it was too late. I’ve already started saying movies are, “cute.” She just laughed at me anyways and told me she knew it would take one day.

And now I am Clara.

I wake everyone up by cheerfully singing, “Wake up, get out of bed, drag a comb across your head,” but I don’t sing any of the other lyrics, I always feel like watching “Moonstruck,” I SLEEP NEXT TO A GUY WEARING A SLEEP APNEA MASK.

Not that “Moonstruck” isn’t great. Everyone in it is amazing.


Such a cute movie! 

Besides the snoring husband and the ability to coax tiny dogs into my clothes, I’m also getting my mom’s skin tags and hyperpigmentation spots. These delightful hereditary traits have also been triggered by the arrival of my 30s.

The skin tags are nothing new, I’ve always been prone to  a small smattering of tiny ones (gross), but now I feel like they’re trying to take over. My mom had to have hers lasered off! I don’t want that for myself, but I really don’t know how to stop it. I know all the tricks for removal, but I don’t know any tricks to keep them from happening.

The dark spots on my skin though, that I can do something about. I think. I usually feel really confident when I buy beauty products, but this branch of the skincare tree is all new to me. I’m feeling a little lost about how to go about finding the most effective anti-aging treatments. Where should I start? I get a bunch of beauty magazines, but I’ve seen “The Devil Wears Prada” on DVD on TV many a Saturday afternoon, I know how the advertising works. I really feel like I can never be sure if a magazine is telling me about a great product because it’s truly great, or if the magazine is telling me about a great product because Meryl says there needs to be more advertiser product. Same goes for beauty sites.

I don’t want to just buy the Clinique one because I think the egg is cute!

clinique egg

I’m not saying I won’t buy the Clinique one, it does have excellent reviews. I just want to be more informed about what exactly I need to be doing. It probably comes from my time as an esthetician, this need to draft a treatment plan. But where the fuck do I start? I think this problem requires more than just a Sephora sample. That’s good for cleansers, and masks, but these kinds of things need long term time to work.

Does anybody else know what I’m dealing with here? If you’re on an anti-aging regimen, how did you choose it? Have you turned into your mother? Does she like you more now? I bet mine does! It bears mentioning that my sisters became our mom at about the ages of 10 and birth, respectively. So with me, she’s probably like, “Finally! This asshole has become someone I can relate to!” And then we clink chihuahuas.



7 thoughts on “Sarah now Clara

  1. JenW says:

    I’m turning 30 next year… keep us informed about this anti-aging stuff. You know the girl that didn’t know about nail polish base coats won’t have a clue.

  2. I come from a long line of pale, pasty people who get non-melanoma skin cancers!

    My family says the best thing for dark spots and also to reduce the chance of them turning into benign lumps that have to be removed eventually is…..

    AmLactin (Ammoniam Lactate 12%. There is an 8 and a 10%—most effective is the 12%)!!!!!

  3. also, further elaboration on the effects of that lotion, when my dad puts it on his spotted ole arms regularly, they get all soft and even colored!

  4. Denys says:

    I’ve had the skin tags removed off my skin twice. Wait until you get pregnant (someday). They only get worse. My dermatologist has told me not to wear necklaces or anything that rubs on my skin. I guess friction causes them? Also, I’m not sure how to keep from getting them, but getting them lasered off is no big deal. I would love to try that no-tag stuff that apparently removes them naturally. Regarding anti-aging stuff, I feel like I’ve been using anti-aging cream forever. I remember that you were the one to tell me that anti-aging cream and lotion are NOT the same thing (was that like 10 years ago?). Duh. Anyway, as I’ve gotten older, I invest a lot more money in quality anti-aging creams, lotions, soaps, etc. I am using Origins now. And I guess it’s okay? I don’t know. I can’t tell a difference, which is maybe a good thing. Nothing is getting worse (knock on wood!!!). My mom uses Obagi and she has amazing skin. Also, she buys Retin-A (online from Mexico, so you know its the good shit) and uses that about once a week on her face and neck. Also, everyone, don’t forget about your neck and chest area. AND your hands. Those two areas, women forget about, but they are the biggest indicators of age. Just look at the Real Housewives. Anyway, that’s that. I used a lot of “also”s in this reply. Whatev.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *