Thanks to the freak nasty dude I live with for coming up with, “Saturday Night Beaver.”
I’m a little obsessed with the glam and disco era of the 70s. I like glitter and dancing! I like freewheeling lifestyles! I like John Travolta! I don’t know, guys, I think I would have been really popular at Studio 54. I’m a good time!
I want to start doing photo steps of these look breakdowns, but this one is super easy, so I’m just going to run through it.
The eyes are all Urban Decay. First, I used “Gonzo” from the Electric Palette around the eye, all over the lid, and dragged it out towards my hairline. Then, on the inner corners, I used UD’s Heavy Metal Glitter Eyeliner in “Midnight Cowboy.” I also lightly patted some of the glitter on my temples, over the smudged out teal shadow. A matte nude shadow on the brow bone, and some mascara finishes the eye.
Lips were a fun combination of orange and gold. I used “Indie Flick,” a matte orange, by NYX Cosmetics. After that, I pressed a little bit of gold shadow into the center of my lips. I used “Half Baked” by Urban Decay.
I had so much fun with this look! I didn’t use it for anything, but Jason and Rowdy were really impressed! I mean, really, this was the hair day of my life. I wish it could look like this every day! My braiding skills still suck though, so I’ll just have to wait until the next time I can convince a friend to get her hands all up in my scalp.
I sent pictures of this look to my mom for an accuracy check, and she gave it her seal of approval. Let me tell you, she knows what she’s talking about, I’ve seen her do The Hustle.
I won’t bury the lede on this one. I’ve already canceled my GLOSSYBOX subscription. Since I can pick it up again whenever I want, that’s not a huge deal. The truth is, I canceled this box before I even got the first one. WHY? Because they charged me for a second box before I even got my first box! What da hell?! It was probably just a billing cycle thing, but it bothered me. Let me decide for myself if I’m continuing the subscription! I’m the decider!!
We were pretty excited the day it came. We got less excited when we saw there weren’t any cosmetics in the box. Since this is a collaboration box, I think that one is on me. I don’t know. I canceled my Birchbox because I got tired of getting so many freaking serums. This box is basically all serums and treatments.
ALTERNA CAVIAR CC CREAM – This is a leave-in conditioner that I did not realize was a leave-in until I had already taken it into the shower. I didn’t end up using it that day in the shower. I used it a couple days later when my friend, Temeka, was braiding my hair. She used this product to tame and smooth my hair while she was working on it. By the time we were done, most of the tube was gone! I ended up having this treatment in my hair for about four days. I can say for sure, my hair was super soft and lovely when I took my braids down. It smelled real good, too. Rilllll good.
AERIN BEAUTY ROSE HAND & BODY CREAM – I’m taking this to my grandma when I see her later this week. She’ll love it. I hate it. We feel the same kind of ways about Bill O’Reilly.
NAPOLEON PERDIS AUTO PILOT PRE-FOUNDATION SKIN PRIMER – Oh. Yay. More primer. I’m sorry, but this is not even the nicest primer I’ve ever used. It’s fine. There wasn’t anything wrong with it, I just didn’t feel like it was anything special. The sample was really nicely sized, so that’s cool. Primer is primer, ya know? I don’t think I’ve ever bought a full tube of any kind of primer. It seems like they just always find their way into my makeup stash.
SULWHASOO TIMETREASURE RENOVATING CREAM – The full size jar of this cream costs $400. FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS. It’s not like I don’t like expensive stuff. I do. A lot. But, whoa, that’s Brangelina priced. This little jar of moisturizer pretty much made up for my other quibbles with the products in this box. I don’t know when was the last time YOU used a $400 face cream, but for me, that last time was never. It’s so nice. It’s so, so, so nice. Everything about it is perfect. It smells like it’s going to work. You know what I mean? I was really impressed the morning after the first time I used it; my skin looked noticeably healthier. It’s cool to see a product work like that. Again, the product size in the box was really generous. I’ve been using it almost every day for several days, and I have plenty of it left. I’m going to be sad when it’s gone. Sad and ugly.
REVIVE INTENSITE VOLUMIZING EYE SERUM – It’s nice! I really like it because it’s not greasy. I have problems with greasy eye treatments. This is another product that seemed to work practically overnight. My eyes have seemed tighter, brighter, and more awake. I have to use such a tiny amount of this serum, I have lots of this sample left, too.
LANCER LIFT SERUM INTENSE – This facial serum is supposed to contain pure gooooooold. I’m into that! How luxurious, right? That’s some Goldmember shizz. Maybe it’s Mariah Carey style? I bet you she likes gold just as much as Goldmember does. Like, I bet you a million dollars she would love it if a dong was painted gold.
BERGDORF GOODMAN $25 GIFT CARD – Hey! Here’s something! By the time I got this box, this gift card was nearly expired. Like, two to three days later it was unusable. Here’s another thing! I was planning on using this gift card at an actual BG later this week, but my gift card has expired already. I didn’t even see that it expired until it was too late. HERE’S ONE LAST THING! I’m pissed! I didn’t even have a week to use my gift card. That’s shitty. I’m not done with it either. I’m fully making some phone calls about it today. Updates later!
FINAL THOUGHTS.
The product quality was great. Admittedly, it was pretty fun to be able to try such a lovely array of luxury priced products. Overall, the box was nice. Nice enough that I didn’t email GLOSSYBOX and ask for a refund for that second box. My next box is already on its way, so we’ll see if the regularly curated box is more up my alley. I want lip liners and nail polish!
Nicole by OPI “Pick of the Glitter,” Target exclusive
I’ve been off glitter (NOT ANTI GLITTER, NEVER ANTI) for a long while now. Taking off my nail polish is the part of doing my nails that I hate the most, and you know glitter takes forever to remove. Even though the tinfoil trick works, it’s way more time spent with corrosive chemicals on my fingers than I would prefer. These new base coats formulated specifically to make glitter removal easier tickle my fancy, but I keep forgetting to buy some at the beauty supply. So, that one is on me.
Nothing had been able to weaken my self-imposed glitter ban until this bottle of polish hypnotized me at Target. Admittedly, It’s not super hard to do since I’m already half out of my present state of mind at Target, but this bottle came home and it still captivated me. The polish is a really unusual color blend of large glitters in turquoise, gold, and iridescent lavender mixed with tiny flecks of a rose gold/bronze color. It’s fucking beautiful. The purple and rose gold colors really, really set off the other colors. I think it’s a brilliant combo of colors. Just fabulous.
Betsey Johnson ring, my jewelry box
I think this is the one and only time I’ve ever worn this ring. I was hitting the Betsey Johnson outlets pretty hard there for a second, and there’s a lot of jewelry hanging around my house that has never seen the light of day. I can’t bring myself to get rid of any of it though. THEY’RE MINE. WHAT IF I WANT TO WEAR THEM SOMEDAY?
I thought this polish would look gorgeous over a neutral color, so I went to the vault and pulled out “Don’t Pretzel My Buttons” (yeesh these names *Tina Fey eye roll GIF*) by OPI. It’s an opaque sort of pinky nude color, and I used two thin coats to cover my nails before I used two coats of glitter.
Dammit. I kind of want a big pretzel now. UGH!! OPI COLOR NAMING DEPARTMENT, WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME SO HUNGRY?! AND HORMONES, YOU HAVE SOME SPLAINING TO DO, TOO.
I know the lighting on this photo is weird, but it is so damn hard to get a solid picture of glitter. The reflective pieces make my camera go all crasy! You can see all the colors in the glitter in this picture though. So, success? I guess. I just really wanted you guys to be able to see everything. It’s so pretty!
Like I said up top, this color is an elusive Target exclusive. I did not know that when I bought it, I was just having a lucky day. If I had known it was hard to find, I never would have randomly run across it. Trust. I couldn’t find it on Target.com, so, if you want it, you’ll have to actually go to Target to get it. Super sad, I know. It’s ok, don’t worry, while you’re at Target, you can get yourself a new scarf to dry your little tears!
I’ve been on the fence about whether I’m keeping my hair short, or growing it long, but then Melody Ehsani was on my IG all last week killing the universe with these braids, and I was like, “HELLO, NEXT SUMMER HAIR!” So, I’m off scissors.
I’m going to look so good!
I just keep picturing my own face in all these photos, and I look amazing. Through pure mind power, I’m going to get my hair super long by next summer. It’s important to have goals!
Look at your girl! She got up on time this morning, and worked it out for y’all! I didn’t just do makeup, oh no. I made a hair tutorial, too.
WHO AM I?!?!?
I’m the shit.
What I’m not, is a good hair doer. Like, these big donut buns have eluded me because my hair is sort of short and full of layers. That was a bummer because I do love a bun. All bunz. Lucky for me, laziness and frustration breeds ingenuity, and I figured out a way to make it happen without all the arm killing rolling, and without my layers sticking out everywhere.
Since I’m not big on hair that takes a lot of time and effort, this tutorial is suuuuper easy. Like, the whole thing will take you less than five minutes. All you need is two big hair ties (rubber bands?), a hair donut, and a bunch of bobby pins. CHECK IT OUT.
STEP ONE
Pull your hair up into a high ponytail, securing it with a rubber band. Pin up any stragglers that fall down in the back. Then, pull your ponytail through the donut, and settle it against your head. Make sure you use a larger donut, since we won’t have the volume you get from rolling all the hair into it.
STEP TWO
Pull the hair from your ponytail down over the donut. Making sure to evenly spread it all the way around the donut, so none of the mesh is showing.
STEP THREE
Take another large rubber band and pop it over the donut to hold the hair in place where you want it. As you can see, sometimes this takes a couple tries to get the right angle. Make sure everything is smooth, even, and covering the donut.
STEP FOUR
Pull the ends of the hair around the rubber band to cover it, pinning it in place as you go. If you need to, you can stick pins up into the donut. It’s super easy.
Pin the hair all the way around, adjusting the bun as you go to make sure everything is exactly where you want it. After that, I like to pull a little hair down in front of my ears just to soften it up. But, that’s up to you.
And that’s it!! It’s so easy!
I like to add a little something extra around the bun, just to make everything look super correct. This is my new twist scarf from ban.do. It has wire inside it, so it pretty much does whatever I want it to do. You can use whatever; scarves, necklaces, bracelets, cute pins or barrettes. I’d say the possibilities are endless, but that’s probably not right. You know what I mean, GO CRAZY!
Was this a revelation for anyone else?! I was so excited when I figured it out!! My normal messy bun isn’t always appropriate for all outfits and occasions. This new option is pretty great.
Since it’s Monday, I thought we could ease into the week together. AKA I don’t want to write anything, I want to go to Target. Lucky for everyone my phone has 4,201 pictures on it! Lucky for YOU, I’m only going to show you a few. I can’t show you all of them, because that would be too erotique. You would not even be able to handle it. Your eyes would bug out, steam would whistle out of your ears, and you would hit yourself over the head a bunch of times with a mallet.
Crazy bright in any light!
Every few weeks, or so, I go to my Nana’s house and give her a manicure. She likes to get her nails done with fun colors, and I like to sit at her kitchen table and hear the same story a bunch of times. JUST KIDDING. I mean, not really. She does tell me the same story a bunch of times, but when she’s not doing that, she’s telling me cool stuff. Seriously, if your Nana is around, go over and do her nails. While you’re doing them, ask her all the questions you’ve ever wanted to know about family secrets and who she was before she was your Nana. No lie, she will tell you EVERYTHING.
These photos are from when I did her birthday nails a couple months ago. It was a really fun morning. We did nails, talked shit about all the people we know, and some shit about people we don’t know. Relatives were calling the whole time, so we never ran out of topics to discuss.
I know you guys probably don’t want to read a beauty blog about some abuelita, but OH WELL. She’s one of my top #1 LADY POWER ICONS. She’s a queen. And, look at the polish she picked! This color is Bikini Coral by Floss Gloss. It’s a killer, retina searing, attention grabbing summer polish! It looks fucking amazing on her skin.
Nana would hate that I was showing these pictures, because she thinks she has ugly hands, but she’s tripping. As long as I can remember, I’ve thought her hands were beautiful. When I was a kid, I would look at her graceful fingers with their perfectly shaped nails and think to myself, “Those are perfect lady hands.” Unfortunately, I did not grow up to inherit her lovely hands. Her rings don’t even come close to fitting me as I was cursed with los chorizo fingers.
This is a look I did for myself a couple weeks ago. I don’t remember what shadows I used. My best, educated guess, is that this was done using the Urban Decay Naked 2 palette. My lips are brought to you by Mindless Lip Chewing. Mindless Lip Chewing: For when you want to look crusty and corroded. I’m sorry I don’t have the exact colors used for the eyes! I didn’t do this look for the site, so I wasn’t really paying attention. I thought I’d show you guys anyways though. Maybe someone needs some neutral look inspiration.
WAHHHHHH!!! I miss my blue hair. *CRYING CAT EMOJI* *CHICKEN LEG EMOJI*
Speaking of emojis, is there an emoji suggestion box somewhere? I need a cheese wedge emoji, a hot dog emoji, and a crossed fingers emoji. Also, some more brown emojis would be cool, too. Don’t make me have to pretend that bride emoji is actually a Mexican girl in a communion dress!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU GUYS. LOOK AT THIS GOAT!!! GROSS, GOAT! DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT GUY?!?!?!?!
