Floss Gloss, How-To, Instagram, Nail Art, Nails, Nicole by OPI

Easy Peasy Manikreezy

I was, like, not made to live without a beauty team. I guess I can do my own nails, but it’s really better if someone else does them. I’m a Real Housewife, not a real housewife. Know what I mean?

It’s not like I’m particularly bad at doing my nails. I used to be pretty good at it until several months of fills and fresh sets ruined me. I don’t know! I’m so bad at the edges now! This entire mani was invented around avoiding my GD cuticle edges.

Allll the areas around my actual nails are the splash zone. Mani specifically designed around avoiding this situation, and I’m still “cleaning up” my nails in the shower. ACK!

OH WELL. This nail art(?) is great because it doesn’t need tape, a steady hand, or, extra brushes. I didn’t even need to sit at the kitchen table to get a level work surface. I did the whole thing kicked all the way back on the couch. I’ll tell you how!

You’re going to need three colors; two for the base, and one for on top. I used two Floss Gloss colors, DONATELLA and MOON BABY, for the base, and GIVE ME THE 1ST DANCE by Nicole by OPI for the top.

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L – R: MOON BABY, DONATELLA, GIVE ME THE 1ST DANCE

First, make haphazard swipes of your base colors on the bottom 3/4 of your nails. Do all ten fingers.

Then, working one nail at a time, dab some of your top color on the tip, sort of lightly pulling the color upwards.

Wipe all the polish off the brush, onto the lip of the bottle.

Drag the brush from the tip to the top of your nail. I liked the silver color for this because it gave everything an antique looking finish. You might need to dab more polish here and there, depending on where you want the coverage. Just make sure you wipe all the excess off the brush for the thinly layered areas. If at any point, your coverage with this color gets too solid, take a q-tip soaked in polish remover, and gently roll it over the areas you want to thin out.

Cover it all with a top coat, and you’re done!

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OF COURSE I got polish on my finger here.

You sort of can’t fuck this up. I mean, you can, but, it’s hard. My first finger looked like garbage compared to the rest of them. But, by the time I got to the end, they were looking exactly how I’d hoped. I was even able to go back and fix the ugly one with my q-tip trick! Just be patient with yourself, work with the dabbing and brushing, and you’ll get the hang of it! 

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Floss Gloss, How-To, Nails, SUPER BLACK Lacquer

Fast Fingers

Let’s talk about doing cool nails, quickly. Let’s talk about nail designs that look good even if you aren’t ambidextrous. The nail art on my right hand usually sort of seems like maybe my Nana did it. That’s nothing bad about Nana, she just has terrible handwriting. Always has.

I can swing a fork or a dong with either hand, but not a nail art brush.

Easy Mani #1

floss gloss duo color mani

TANLINES and PONY by FLOSS GLOSS

This mani doesn’t really take longer than just painting your nails one color. You need all your regular mani supplies; base coat, top coat, and the two (or more!) colors you want to use.

  1. Put down your base coat, and two coats of your primary polish color on every finger.
  2. Let it dry for a few minutes.
  3. Take your contrasting edge color(s), and, using the edge of the polish brush, swipe the color at various angles on the very tips of all your nails. Make sure you give the brush a wipe on the edge of the bottle before you put down the color; you don’t want any big blobs of polish. It’s a lot easier to add more color here than take any away.
  4. TOP COAT.

That’s it! After I already put the top coat on this, it occurred to me that these colors would look good with little splashes of gold thrown in, too. So, I got that idea filed away for next time.

Sorry. You guys probably can’t tell, but I just totally took a Kardashian game break. Speaking of nails, I’m kind of thinking I should keep one of my index finger nails really short. Like, the opposite of a long pinkie nail. But, instead of for cocaine, it’s for keeping a fingertip free for tapping on my screen. I’m A LIST, BAYBAY. I gotta keep that fingie sleek and ready for action. P.S. Can I say I have a big problem with one aspect of the game? Namely, D List NOBODIES who criticize me when I call them for a date. Why shouldn’t I get extra points for canceling dates with assholes who tell me my outfit doesn’t look nice enough for them? I can’t imagine any of the Kardashian girls would stick around for dinner with someone who said, “That’s what you’re wearing for our date?”

I mean, this guy, literally, only ever wears this outfit and he has the gall to criticize ME?

kimmie game

Fuck this guy.

I hate him so much. He’s my strongest and longest lasting romantic relationship in the game. 🙁

Easy Mani #2

super black mani

Whip by SUPER BLACK Lacquers

I threw this mani together real late one night. I was gonna get ready for bed, and then I was suddenly struck with inspiration! I gathered up a few things, and slammed this look out in no time at all. I mean, it was FAST. Aside from the normal mani supplies, you need some scotch tape.

I’ve had problems with mani art using tape in the past, but, I think I worked it out this time. Two tips: give the sticky sides of your tape pieces a quick rub on your shirt to unstick the adhesive a little before you put them on your nails, and, only do two or three nails at a time.

  1. Thoroughly and carefully, stick your tape to ALL of your clean, bare nails, covering the tops, leaving however much you want at the bottom for color. Be sure you get the tape flat all the way across. You can gently use an orange stick or a rubber tipped cuticle pusher to smooth down the tape. Don’t forget to leave an edge you can easily grab to pull the tape off when you’re done!
  2. After you have the tape stuck to your nails, apply your base coat, and two thin coats of polish to the uncovered nail areas on two or three fingers.
  3. Then, working quickly and smoothly, pull the tape off your nails. This is where only doing the polish a few nails at a time really comes into play. If you put polish on all ten nails before you pull the tape up, you’ll ruin that straight line. The couple minutes it takes to do those two or three nails is enough time to set the wet polish without it drying too much to pull the tape. Polish and pull the tape off of all ten fingers before moving on to the next step.
  4. TOP COAT. Because you’re adding the top coat to your whole nail, let your polish dry for another few minutes before you add it. I didn’t do this part, and some of the color got transferred up to the bare nail. It was easy enough to clean with some polish remover on a q-tip, but who needs the extra work? NOT ME. NOT YOU. NOT US.

That’s it, guys! Both of these manis got tons of compliments out in the world. We’re about that, right?! If you try them, I hope they work out! I also hope my instructions were clear. If they weren’t, question away!

Buy PONY and FASTLANE from FLOSS GLOSS HERE.

Buy cool holos from SUPER BLACK Lacquers HERE.

 

 

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Fave Looks, How-To, NYX Cosmetics, Urban Decay

Face Breakdown: Saturday Night Beaver

disco braids

Thanks to the freak nasty dude I live with for coming up with, “Saturday Night Beaver.”

I’m a little obsessed with the glam and disco era of the 70s. I like glitter and dancing! I like freewheeling lifestyles! I like John Travolta! I don’t know, guys, I think I would have been really popular at Studio 54. I’m a good time!

I want to start doing photo steps of these look breakdowns, but this one is super easy, so I’m just going to run through it.

The eyes are all Urban Decay. First, I used “Gonzo” from the Electric Palette around the eye, all over the lid, and dragged it out towards my hairline. Then, on the inner corners, I used UD’s Heavy Metal Glitter Eyeliner in “Midnight Cowboy.” I also lightly patted some of the glitter on my temples, over the smudged out teal shadow. A matte nude shadow on the brow bone, and some mascara finishes the eye.

Lips were a fun combination of orange and gold. I used “Indie Flick,” a matte orange, by NYX Cosmetics. After that, I pressed a little bit of gold shadow into the center of my lips. I used “Half Baked” by Urban Decay.

I had so much fun with this look! I didn’t use it for anything, but Jason and Rowdy were really impressed! I mean, really, this was the hair day of my life. I wish it could look like this every day! My braiding skills still suck though, so I’ll just have to wait until the next time I can convince a friend to get her hands all up in my scalp.

I sent pictures of this look to my mom for an accuracy check, and she gave it her seal of approval. Let me tell you, she knows what she’s talking about, I’ve seen her do The Hustle.

What do you guys think? I love it! Any questions?

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Accessories, Beauty Tools, Beginner, Hair, How-To, Lime Crime

No Roll Sock Bun Tutorial

donut bun 1

Lips: Pink Velvet by Lime Crime

Look at your girl! She got up on time this morning, and worked it out for y’all! I didn’t just do makeup, oh no. I made a hair tutorial, too.

WHO AM I?!?!?

I’m the shit.

What I’m not, is a good hair doer. Like, these big donut buns have eluded me because my hair is sort of short and full of layers. That was a bummer because I do love a bun. All bunz. Lucky for me, laziness and frustration breeds ingenuity, and I figured out a way to make it happen without all the arm killing rolling, and without my layers sticking out everywhere.

Since I’m not big on hair that takes a lot of time and effort, this tutorial is suuuuper easy. Like, the whole thing will take you less than five minutes. All you need is two big hair ties (rubber bands?), a hair donut, and a bunch of bobby pins. CHECK IT OUT.

STEP ONE

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Pull your hair up into a high ponytail, securing it with a rubber band. Pin up any stragglers that fall down in the back. Then, pull your ponytail through the donut, and settle it against your head. Make sure you use a larger donut, since we won’t have the volume you get from rolling all the hair into it.

STEP TWO

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Pull the hair from your ponytail down over the donut. Making sure to evenly spread it all the way around the donut, so none of the mesh is showing.

STEP THREE

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Take another large rubber band and pop it over the donut to hold the hair in place where you want it. As you can see, sometimes this takes a couple tries to get the right angle. Make sure everything is smooth, even, and covering the donut.

STEP FOUR

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Pull the ends of the hair around the rubber band to cover it, pinning it in place as you go. If you need to, you can stick pins up into the donut. It’s super easy.

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Pin the hair all the way around, adjusting the bun as you go to make sure everything is exactly where you want it. After that, I like to pull a little hair down in front of my ears just to soften it up. But, that’s up to you.

And that’s it!! It’s so easy!

donut bun 2

I like to add a little something extra around the bun, just to make everything look super correct. This is my new twist scarf from ban.do. It has wire inside it, so it pretty much does whatever I want it to do. You can use whatever; scarves, necklaces, bracelets, cute pins or barrettes. I’d say the possibilities are endless, but that’s probably not right. You know what I mean, GO CRAZY!

Was this a revelation for anyone else?! I was so excited when I figured it out!! My normal messy bun isn’t always appropriate for all outfits and occasions. This new option is pretty great.

I hope you guys like it! Let me know!!

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Coastal Scents, Eyeshadow, Fave Looks, How-To, MAC, Maybelline, Urban Decay

Double Trouble – Maybelline Color Tattoo Shadows in Barely Branded and Tough as Taupe

 color tattoo looks diptic

I’ve been working on this post for days! I’ve just been really distracted with, like, the Olympics, and learning to play ping pong, and I’ve had on pants and a bra SO MUCH this week, which is really, very unusual. Being seen in public a lot = less time sitting in front of my laptop. Also, I think I was telling myself this post might suck and second guessing myself tons, so I was making everything more difficult. That’s just maybe laziness disguised as self esteem problems, though. I don’t know! I guess you guys will be the judge. If it sucks, I was right, and if it doesn’t suck, I’m maybe lazy, or I maybe have self esteem problems, or, maybe both. Let’s find out!

Last week, I finally got around to grabbing a few of those Maybelline Color Tattoo cream shadows, and now I am OBSESSED. I hate that I’ve been not buying them all this time! They’re so easy to work with, and the color is long lasting. I’ve used them almost every day since I got them, and I have fully planned to buy several more.

Today, I want to show you two looks I’ve done, using the same colors. Since the colors and placement are the same, the looks are similar, but they’re both so pretty and wearable, I had to show you guys both.

Color Tattoo Looks products

These are the colors I used for these looks. We’ve got W.O.S. from Urban Decay’s Naked Basics palette, Maybelline Color Tattoo cream shadows in Barely Branded and Tough as Taupe, and a Coastal Scents shadow in Wild Raisin.

color tattoo looks swatches

L-R: Costa Riche liner, W.O.S, Tough as Taupe, Barely Branded, Wild Raisin

Before I begin, I always use my Urban Decay Primer Potion. Then, on the first look only, I used W.O.S. on the entire lid; just to even out the skin, and to give the cream shadow something else behind it. Now for the fun part!

color tattoo look steps

  1. Using a flatter brush, I applied Tough as Taupe over the lid, just to the crease.
  2. Line the upper lash line and water line with a dark brown or grey liner; I used MAC’s Costa Riche. Smudge the line.
  3. Using the pads of your fingers, gently pat Barely Branded around the edges of Tough as Taupe, blending upwards and onto the brow bone.
  4. Apply Wild Raisin to the crease and the outer corner of the eye, then BLEND THE HELL OUT OF IT.

And that’s it! If you want, you can lightly line your bottom lash line with the liner or the remaining product on the flat brush from the first step. Add some mascara, and you’re done!

color tattoo look 1

Lips: UD’s Naked

Look Two is exactly the same as Look One, except you switch Wild Raisin and Tough as Taupe. So, Wild Raisin will cover your lid, and Tough as Taupe will get blended into the crease. It looks like this:

color tattoo look 2 detail

Lips: UD’s Protest

color tattoo look 2 close

I’ve worn my makeup one of these two ways almost every day since last Friday. I just love how easy and flattering it is! And how awesome is it that these shadows are super cheap? I guess the Naked palette isn’t super cheap, but that color is also sort of unnecessary to the look, so who cares?! I’ve been doing this blog for almost a year, and the one thing I’ve learned is that my makeup snobbery has been keeping me from a lot of good makeup. Maybelline, in particular, has become a new favorite of mine. I never ever thought I’d be searching everywhere for a particular drugstore product like I do with high end brands, but here I am. It’s cool though, you know. Cheap products means more products, and Maybelline is always on sale, AND you can use your Ulta coupons on their stuff. I’m rolling in affordable cream shadows over here!

What do you guys think? Do you have any questions?

Buy Maybelline Color Tattoo shadows basically everywhere.
Buy Wild Raisin from Coastal Scents HERE.

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How-To, Lips, MAC, Marc Jacobs Beauty

How To: Lips with Dimension

Everyone has their favorite facial feature, and mine are definitely my lips. I like to look at them, I like to call attention to them, I love to play them up. It’s no secret that I buy A LOT of lipstick. And I won’t stop, cuz I can’t stop. ::Puffy Dance::

chapelle dance

Because I am obsessed with my own mouth, when I paint it, I paint it with love. I also paint it with focus because I am always teetering close to the edge of crazy mouth. I gots all my tricks down, and I want to share them with you today. First, let’s take a look at my bare mouth.

bare mouth

Not bad, not bad. A little chewed, but nothing gross. Hydrated, exfoliated, I tweezed my mustache and got my one old lady chin hair. So, this is pretty much best case scenario. What I want to do is bring up the perimeters of my lips, shade where I want depth, and highlight where I want light. Although these steps can be used with pretty much any color, I’m going to demonstrate with a nude lip. Nude lips usually need the extra dimension anyways, so it works out.

Here’s what I’m using:

lip tools

Chapstick Hydration Lock – Prime and lightly moisturize.
MAC Prep + Prime Highlighter in Radiant Rose – Um. To highlight.
Cover Girl Perfect Blend Pencil in Mink – Shading, lining and contouring.
MAC Matte Lipstick in Honey Love – Very nude, cream matte lipstick. I used this color to do a 60s inspired look for my wedding.
Marc Jacobs Lovemarc Lip Gel in Role Play – A creamy rosy nude with a glossy finish.

OK. First, I lightly apply my Chapstick. I don’t want to use too much, because it can make everything tricky. So, I use just enough to make sure my lips are smooth. Then, I line around my lips with the brown liner.

brown liner

Do you see how things are already happening?! It’s so exciting! This liner is a pretty cool brown color, and it’s going to make the edges of my mouth recede, so my lips themselves really stand out in the center. Then, with the spongy thing on the other end of the pencil, I blend the line so it isn’t harsh and obvious.

Next, I use my Prep + Prime pen to highlight the area above my lip. You know, above your cupid’s bow, where that little divot is? There! Like, so:

lip highlight

The highlighter above your lip like that will give your top lip that little bit of upwards flare that really gives you a good, pillowy mouth. Blend that highlight color, and, if you like, set it with a little translucent powder. This is also where I add a little color to that mole next to my lip and set that with powder too. When I remember.

And now we’re ready for lipstick!!!! First, I’ll show you the glossier, Marc Jacobs color.

lips role play

Pretty good, right?! The line around the corner edges of my bottom lip looks darker on me than it might on you because, as you can see in the very first picture, the edges of my lips are naturally darker. This color works great with this whole technique because the shine in the lipstick really makes lips pop. I love it. This lipstick has become one of my go-to colors.

Now, we’ll see how it looks with MAC’s matte Honey Love.

lips honey love

Faaaaaaaabulous!! I added a little bit of pink-gold gloss in the very center of my lips to add some more depth to the flat color. If you want a truly matte, 60s mouth, skip this part. Like I said, I like to play up my lips, so I usually add a little dab.  I used NARS lip gloss in Super Orgasm. I forgot to take a picture of it. My bad! It’s not super crucial for you to see it, so it’s cool.

I think adding shading around the mouth isn’t something most people think to do, but it makes a difference. I didn’t think to do it for a long time! I mean, I didn’t invent any of these tricks, they’re just things I’ve picked up over the years, put all together, and turned into my system for lips. I hope this has been helpful to somebody! Air kisses!

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Eyeliner, Eyeshadow, Face, Fave Looks, How-To, Lips, MAC, Naked, OCC, Sephora Collection, Urban Decay

OCC Black Dahlia Look Breakdown

occ lip tar set black dahlia

Witch-ay Woman

A commenter asked about the other makeup I’m wearing in this photo from my review of the OCC Lip Tar All-Star Mini set. I was like, duh, I should probably start including that information along with my photos. I guess I probably never thought about it because I am the worst and I like to keep all my secrets to myself. Like, if you gush about my sunglasses and ask where I got them, I’ll tell you–but, inside, I really don’t want to. I know. That’s terrible. And it’s not even the grossest thing about me. Don’t worry, I get karma back on it. A couple months ago, I asked a lady at the farmers market where she got her sunglasses, and she was all, “I don’t remember.” And I was like, “Girl. Yeah, right.” It’s like Justin Timberlake says, “What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around.”

So, the makeup in this picture!

Eyes – It looks like I used three shadows for this look. From the original Urban Decay Naked palette, I used “Virgin” for the brow bone and “Half Baked” for the inner eye corners. The bulk of the shadow, the wine color, is from a very old TIGI Cosmetics palette. I tried to find it, and unfortunately, it doesn’t look like they make it anymore. I swear this is not me just trying not to tell. I bough the palette when I was in beauty school a million years ago, and I probably shouldn’t even be using it anymore. The color was just called, “Wine,” and it’s not very hard to dupe; any wine color that leans more towards a plum will do the trick. I used a white pencil liner from the Sephora collection on my lower waterline, and UD’s black pencil liner on my bottom lash line and upper waterline. The mascara is Benefit’s They’re Real.

Eyebrows – Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Powder Duo in “Brunette/Dark Brown” is my go to brow product. I use a light mixture of the two colors on a thin angled brush.

Blush – “Peaches” Sheertone Blush by MAC.

Lips – OCC Lip Tar in “Black Dahlia”

There you have it! I guess I really don’t mind telling about makeup and beauty stuff. I mean, if I did, I probably wouldn’t have started a beauty blog. So, the good news is, my shadiness only extends to accessories! The bad news is, I will never ever start a sunglasses and bracelets blog.

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