Personal, Skincare

Brown Bunny

Like that boring porno movie.

And also like, all of a sudden, I want to tan!

It’s so unusual, and SO BAD. What am I doing? I’ve basically spent the last 20 years under an impenetrable layer of sunblock, and now I’m sprawling out, liberally oiled, under an afternoon sun.

It’s so weird.

I just want caramel thighs and cocoa bunz, maybe some sun-kissed shoulders. Doesn’t that all sound so sexual? And sort of delicious?

How did I go from being so pale I was literally sort of blue, to wanting to be a bronzed sun goddess? Not very goth, SARAH.


Looking good!

I won’t fake tan because of laziness, and because I’m not sure they make a Tan Towel big enough to tan my ass. Tan Beach Towel maybe? **Note to self: TAN BEACH TOWEL? COULD BE BIG $$$?**  Plus, fake tanning doesn’t feel half as awesome as real tanning. Blanket, grass, chi, music, sunshine, NAPS?! All better than slipping a disc trying to tan the backs of my knees with can tan. Basically, the only thing fake tanning has on real tanning is, I don’t have to watch for neighbors booty peepin’ over the fence.


This guy knows what I’m talkin’ about.

So what then? Am I doomed to resign myself to a life of fish belly thighs, or do I get under that sun and keep an eye on my moles? Am I wrong and is Jason right about exactly what kind of Vitamin D deficiency I might have?

We all know it’s completely stupid to be out in the sun like that, but how do you fight the lure of that warm blanket? Why do otherwise sane people say “fuck it” to the dangers of tanning? I was just going to say I don’t want my moles to grow from the sun and take over my whole body, but then, I guess I’d at least be uniformly brown.


Birchbox is imminent!

I got an email from Birchbox with a tracking number and a preview video! AUGH. TEASE.

Did you see that the Origins Charcoal Mask was one of the products shown? I was *just* talking about that! SPOOKY!

$10 a month for those samples and products is a pretty good deal. I think next month I’ll try not to peek at the video, then, when my Birchbox comes, it will be like beauty Christmas!

Sign up HERE. They have man boxes too. I don’t know what you get in those? Porno and Slim Jims, probably.

Beauty Tools, Eyeshadow

Brush Up, Part 2

I hope everyone enjoyed the first post about brushes yesterday. I realized way too late that I should have cleaned all the makeup off them before taking pictures. Oh well.


  I did this. With these brushes and some liner. Maybe some spit. 

Don’t use spit to fix your makeup mistakes. That’s really bad. The enzymes in your saliva that break down food will go to work on your skin. Gross! That tip was extra. *WINK*

Everyone pumped for some eye and lash tools?! Enjoy more photos of my dirty brushes!



Sephora, N/A

Great. Another brush that doesn’t appear to exist anymore. Good opener, Sarah! That’s ok. Serenity now. This brush is technically a crease brush, but it pulls double duty most days; applying base color and then blending crease colors. The rounded end is good for getting into the eye crease, and the fluffy bristles are great for picking up a lot of color to wash over large areas, or blending to finish. Sephora has THIS brush on sale right now. It looks like it’s similar, and it’s only $6.


Sonia Kashuk Medium Eye Shadow Brush, Target, $5.99

I bought this brush as part of a set. Like, the brush above, I use this one for detail work and large areas. It’s flat, so it’s great for making a really defined crease, packing color into inner and outer corners, and brushing shadow under your eye. This brush is the same brush, with a different handle. If you don’t have a lot of eye makeup brushes, or if you aren’t sure how to start pulling together a set, this brush, along with the one above, is a good place to start. Their versatility will get you through a lot of looks.


Tigi Angle Brush

This slim little brush has been kicking around with me since I was in beauty school. I’d use it sometimes to layer shadow over liner, but it wasn’t part of the regular roster until I figured out how amazing it was for putting on my eyebrows. I use it with my Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Powder Duo to make my brows soft and natural looking, or sharp. The tips of the bristles are so thin, you can really make the exact lines you need. I even still use it to really define my liners with shadow, or as a liner brush. It’s really good to have at least one fine, thin brush in your stash. They come in handy all the time!


Tigi Brow & Lash Groomer, Amazon, $12.98 & Eyelash Curler, Sephora, $17

Comb for untangling clumpy lashes, brush for softening and taming brows. I don’t think I can explain anymore than that.

I have one weirdo eyelash on each eye that defies all my curling effort, choosing instead to either stick straight out or grow downward into my eyeball. No amount of crimping and poking will make those rebel lashes behave. I usually end up pulling them out with my tweezers. I do not tolerate insubordination. Get in line or get yanked out!

Even if your lashes are actively working against you, like mine, curling is still an important step. Curling your lashes opens up your eyes, and makes your lashes look thicker. When you use your curler, make sure to gradually curl up the length of your entire lash, guiding the shape into a gentle curve; instead of crimping directly at the lash line, which will cause your lashes to go straight up and down.


That’s it for this set of brushes. Look for the last post in this series on Monday; I’m going to talk about some highlighting and blending tools. Look, I’m not going to say it’s going to change your life, but you’ll never know if you don’t show up. Right? Better safe than sorry. That’s what I always say!

Beauty Tools

Brush Up, Part 1



Isn’t that so hypnotic? Are you getting sleepy? I could stare at it all day. Right now, it’s being scored on my laptop to “Need You Tonight” by INXS and it works great!

I’ve been curating my brush collection for years, and I thought showing you the basics I use for nearly every look, could be helpful. I know I’m always on the lookout for good brushes to add to the pack. I’ve got three entries coming up. We’ll do the regular basics today and tomorrow, and finish the series on Monday with the extra special finishing touches.

Let’s GO!


Flat Kabuki Brush F80, Sigma Beauty, $18

Sigma Beauty has really awesome brushes. They’re solid and well made so they feel comfortable in your hand, and the bristles don’t shed all over you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked away from a beauty counter, after letting them put makeup on me, looking like I need a shave and a chest wax.

After moisturizing, this brush is the first step* in my makeup routine. I pump a dab of foundation onto the back of my hand, then use this brush, in a circular motion, to pick up the foundation and buff it onto my face. I apply my foundation from the center out towards my hairline and chin. I also use this brush to clean up any contouring lines.


Flat Angled Kabuki Brush F88, Sigma Beauty, $18

This brush is perfect for using with powder or cream bronzer to contour your cheekbones, hairline, jaw and nose. I don’t use it for anything else but contouring, really. I don’t do a ton of contouring in my regular look, but I do my cheeks no matter what. A good rule of thumb for cheekbone contouring is to place the beginning of your contour so it lines up with the top of your ear. For a lot of people, that’s like, right there under your, um, sideburns, I guess? It might adjust up or down a little as you get it to come into line with the top of your ear, but it’s about there. I read the other day that when contouring, to think of your cheek makeup as a bra; the bronzer is the underwire so it gives the most support. You want it to run from next to your ear, under the apple of your cheeks, and end around the outer corner of your eye, being careful not to bring it down too far, that defeats the purpose.


Blush brush, Urban Decay, N/A 

It doesn’t look like Urban Decay makes this particular brush anymore, but any blush brush you’re comfortable with will work. This one from ELF is $3, and has pretty good reviews overall, but a few complaints. I haven’t used their brushes personally, but I’ve heard from several places that their brushes are as good as high end brushes. Also, did I mention it’s $3?!

I use this brush for my blush, and any shimmery blush/bronzers. I’m sure you all know blush goes on the apples of your cheeks, but be careful not to bring it too close to your eyes, nose, or mouth. You should be blending your blush with the top of your contour line if you’re taking that extra step, again being careful not to drag your contour color down your face.


That’s it for the face brushes. Well, the super basic ones anyways. We’ll pick up tomorrow with eyeshadow and brow brushes.

Does anyone have any questions about these brushes? Are there any brushes or techniques you’re curious about? Ask me now, because in a couple hours I’m going to do Jillian and I might not make it.


*If my eyeshadow is going to be smoky, dark, glittery, or otherwise prone to ruining all my hard work by sprinkling all over finished foundation, I’ll do foundation, contouring and cheeks after I finish my eyes. You can clean up any mistakes or fallout without smudging your face that way. Have you ever totally given yourself raccoon eyes trying to clean up a smoky eye on top of your face makeup? It’s enough to make me throw down my brush, take off my pants, and say, “Fuck this! I’m staying home.”

Giveaways, MAC

RiRi Hearts MAC News


I got shipping notices today on my RiRi Hearts MAC lipsticks. That is AWESOME NEWS! For me.


I bought extras for a giveaway!! FOR YOU!!

Check back for updates and rules.

Moisturizer, Shopping

TokyoMilk La Vie La Mort No. 90 Handcreme


TokyoMilk, $22

I’m such a sucker for packaging. Look at that little black tube! Isn’t that the sexiest looking hand cream you’ve ever seen?

The circumstances that led to my purchasing this hand cream were kind of a perfect storm. I’ve been working really hard to stop chewing and picking at my cuticles and the skin around my fingers, part of that is keeping my hands lotioned up; I just ran out of my Love + Toast hand lotion, and I got an email notifying me of some credits sitting in some random account on some random shopping site, that I’d immediately forgotten about as soon as I’d signed up.

I went to the site,, to see what I could buy, and I found sort of a shoppable Pinterest. It’s cool! I searched for “hand cream” and a bunch of options popped up. You buy directly through them, and then they search the internet for a cheaper price or lower shipping on the same product, and if they find one, you pay that reduced price. I’d long been curious about this brand, so I bought it, and a couple days later I got an email letting me know they’d found it for $5 cheaper than what I was originally going to pay. I’m ALWAYS into that.

My delivery was fast, and it came in a pretty black box, all tied up with black ribbon from Barney’s. The lotion itself is totally gorgeous. Silky, lush, and heavily scented with white tuberose, cardamom, hibiscus leaf and jasmine, it’s such a fancy little luxury! I love it! Little beautiful things like that make me so happy.

Go to the site to sign up, or leave a comment and I’ll send you an invite, you’ll get a $10 credit, and you can try it for yourself!

Lips, MAC

MAC Feel My Pulse


MAC, $16.50

I just spent over 2 hours, sitting in front of my laptop, trying to buy some of the RiRi lipsticks from MAC. I think I got mine! It was frustrating as hell though.

I don’t know why I do these things to myself, I actually cried the night of the Missoni for Target launch because the site kept crashing, things kept popping in and out of my cart, and I felt like I was losing my mind. Like, I legit have shopping PTSD from that launch. Anyone else who was in the online trenches that night knows what I’m talking about. I still wake up some nights, drenched in sweat, dreaming of the matching washcloths I lost in the battle….

Feel My Pulse didn’t put me through all kinds of madness to get it. I just walked up to the MAC counter, saw the pretty purple color, and said, “I’ll have that one.” That was it.

I loved this color on; the magenta violet color was pinker on the lip than the color looked in the tube, and the Cremesheen finish makes application an easy process, without drying your lips while you wear it. I would have been happy with a color that was more purple, but it was cool.


lips: Feel My Pulse, eyes: Urban Decay’s Half Baked

Feel My Pulse is part of the limited edition “Temperature Rising” collection. It’s an awesome summer color, but it’s rich enough to pull double duty in the winter too.


What a rip.

Well, I found it at my local MAC counter without any trouble, so hopefully you can too.


Countdown to Birchbox

I just ordered my first Birchbox, and I am really freaking excited! When the email came telling me it was finally my turn to order, I gasped and said, “YES!” like Kip Dynamite.

I wonder what will be inside my first box…




All Skate!

Weekly All Skate


I’m thinking of opening up All Skate on Fridays to topics that aren’t beauty related. I think it would be fun to chat about different things sometimes. What do you guys think? What kind of questions should we do? Slumber party stuff, right?! First kisses and things!

Thoughts? Ideas? Don’t fall asleep, I’ll put your bra in the freezer for some reason!