Category Archives: Nails

Beauty Tools, General, Nails

Pretty Ladies All In a Row

Big home improvement projects happening here over the weekend:

polish rack

These are load bearing polishes.

I’ve always dreamt of having an acrylic wall mounted nail polish rack. I love to see my preciouses there all lined up and pretty. Like, really, you’re supposed to keep your polish in a cool, dark place. But that was not working for me.

polish bin

UGH. UNACCEPTABLE.

They were all living in this bin, under our bed, slowly poisoning us while we slept. Probably. Opening that bin was a real kick to the sinuses, like WHOA. You can’t see a thing in there either. When I arranged all the polish in there in the first place, I thought it’d be clever to group them all by color. That lasted about 5 seconds. It feels dumb to tell people they have to put the polish back into the color family from which it came, so I just stood by and let anyone who looked through them put them back wherever. And, come on, what the fuck, like I’m going to dig through there and try and find the small section of silver polish when I need to put something back? No way.

This rack is so much better! It appeals to my warped sense of order that only works on makeup and my underwear drawer. You can’t open a closet in our house without risking a junk avalanche, but my chonies are neatly rolled and tucked away in straight, sexy, rows in their drawer, and my nail polish is arranged by brand. I *think* about rearranging the towel closet a lot, if that counts for anything.

My Farm Boy put up the rack for me, and then I got to work clearing out my polish bin.

I went with arranging them by brand instead of color, and I can not even explain to you how satisfying it was to click them all into place on the shelves. Hearing the literal click of the bottles on the acrylic and against each other while everything matched up and fit just right. Mmm. Heaven! I love it!

I’m going to need to do some reordering soon since I always have new polish in my future. I’m starting to see multiple acrylic racks in my future too….next up, stacked clear acrylic drawers for all my makeup. My train case in my closet is too out of sight, out of mind.

I ordered my rack off Amazon, and we picked up the wall mounts at a hardware store. It all came together pretty quickly!

The only downside is now Jason can see exactly how much polish I have. Too bad I always need more, FOR RESEARCH.

Buy this acrylic display rack HERE.

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Floss Gloss, Hex Nail Jewelry, Nails

Hex Nail Jewelry Cobra

hex nail jewelry cobra

Polish: PARTYBRUISE by FLOSS GLOSS

When I think of cobras, I think of the line in The Cramps song, “Sheena’s In a Goth Gang,” that says Sheena’s in “the Cult of the Cobra.” So, I call this nail look, “Sarah’s In a Goth Gang.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBguttUsPyw

If you don’t click play on that, I feel sorry for you.

Sarah’s in a goth gang! Sarah’s in a goth gang! Sarah’s in a goth gang nowwwww! I love it when I can easily make a song about myself, I hate having to force it.

Now to the important stuff!

I don’t remember how I discovered Hex Nail Jewelry, and their gold plated brass nail charms, but the first night I was on their site, I had a cart FULL of product. They’re SO boss, and at $1.75 each, it’s easy to pick out a bunch of them. When I finally placed my order, I had some big decisions to make, I was like, “Cobra or scorpion? Cobra or scorpion? BOTH.” I didn’t get the spider though, I have some self-restraint.

My delivery came really fast, so, +1 right away, right? I decided on the cobra first, because I had the opportunity to finally try PARTYBRUISE, and I was already thinking “Sarah’s In a Goth Gang” to myself. I’m always thinking that to myself.

After my two coats of polish and top coat were completely dry, it was time for the main event….

Hang on.

My nails don’t look that great because, FULL DISCLOSURE, I did them with pizza fingers while I was drinking beers, watching Project Runway and talking with my soul sister. It was a nail pizza party! So, basically, two of the best kinds of parties you can have with a friend! Slumber party would be another, key party would be another, NEW YEAR’S PARTY IS ONE! New Year’s Party is like a slumber party and a key party all rolled into one! A chaste key party, but still! I kiss a lot of friends on the lips at midnight, I’ll tell you that much. A lot.

So, the nail charms. Honestly, I fucked mine up a little bit. They make them so hard to fuck up, they’re curved to fit the bend of your nail and everything, but I figured out a way. Here’s what happened, to put them on your nail, you place a tiny bead of nail glue where you want the charm, then, you put the charm on top of the nail glue. Easy. Really easy. Well, I dropped the charm onto the nail glue, then I went, “Mmm….no,” and tried to slide it over a little with my finger. I instantly got my fingertip stuck to the charm and my nail by the still wet glue, yanked my finger up, ripped up the charm by accident, screamed, then had to press it back down, and hope like hell there was enough glue left to keep it stuck to my nail. There was. But, now I had nail glue stuck all over my fingers and the charm. Next time, I’m going to use an orange stick to make adjustments. Hex says you don’t need to put a top coat over the charm once it’s stuck to the nail glue, but I had kind of scuffed mine up with glue, so I threw a top coat over it to shine it up a little. I fucked that up too. I put the top coat on under my ceiling fan, so it went on all thick and stringy.

I think it really speaks to the radness of this nail charm that despite my best efforts, it still looks great. I’ve been wearing this cobra on my nails since Saturday, and it hasn’t snagged on anything, popped off, or lifted. It’s worked out great because my polish is starting to look like it wants to be changed.

To remove the charms, you just pick them off, and wipe the glue residue from your nail with polish remover. Then, you can throw the charm in your jewelry box to reuse!

I love my little baggie of charms, I already have my next manicure planned out!

Buy Hex Nail Jewelry HERE.

P.S. When I think of cobras, I think of this too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pcv1EhH7Xh0

P.P.S. If this entry seems super long and meandering, please know I’m on drugs. I need a backeotomy, but I’m on drugs and a heating pad. I *need* to be trying to work up my photo space because my poor backdrop went into the trash. Instead, I’m going to put a bunch of pillows under my knees and wait for someone to come pull the plug because I’m obviously falling apart. See?! Meandering! Shut up, Sarah!

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Floss Gloss, Nails

FLOSS GLOSS Nail Lacquer in WAVEPOOL

floss gloss wavepool

Summertime refreshment for size queens.

We know I’m FLOSS GLOSS obsessed, right? Like, I embarrass myself on Twitter all the time gushing about the colors, and bothering Janine and Aretha for preorder information and whatnot. I can’t help it! They keep making my dream colors! What the fuck else am I supposed to do? Play it cool? HELL NAW.

floss gloss wavepool 2

WAVEPOOL, $8

WAVEPOOL is a color from the last order I received. I’m a total sucker for creamy aqua blues, I have tons of them. But this color was really different in its warm baby blue vibrancy, and its apparent lack of green.

You know how when you look at the pool on a really sunny day, and the bottom looks so perfect and blue and retina searing and you just want to swim down into the center of it? That’s the color of this polish. It is flat out deep end-beers on a raft-“watch my dive!” awesome. All it needs are some blinding sunlight sparkles bouncing off of it, and the smell of sunblock.

Their formula worked great for this color. It was opaque in two coats, and it dried matte. One coat of my top coat, and I was good to go.

Summer is going to be over soon, but there’s still lots of time to grab WAVEPOOL and play twinsies with your swimming pool. And hey, if you’re looking forward to next season, you can preorder their Fall line now.

Buy WAVEPOOL HERE.

P.S. I just found out that not everyone knows the importance of using a base coat. Always use a base coat on your fingers. Your manicure will last longer, and your nails won’t get stained.

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Birchbox, Face, Lips, Moisturizer, Nails

Birchbox July 2013 Review and Photos

Birchbox July 2013

Since everyone is already getting their August Birchboxes, I’m going to do a quick review of July’s box.

July’s box didn’t start off great. After I got my shipping notice, the tracking info never updated and the box never showed up. I emailed Birchbox and they said a new one would be sent out to me, and I’d have it within 10 days. 10 days later, I sent another email asking why I still hadn’t received my box. They assured me it was coming. Sure enough, the next day, day 11, it was in my mailbox.

I got a notice that my August box had shipped before I even got my July box!

It’s too bad this month’s box was so late, since what was inside was pretty good.

L-R:

ModelCo Party Proof Matte Lipstick in Peony

Birchbox 7:13 lipstick

What they said: Long lasting, nondrying pigment that won’t come off on your drink (or significant other).

What I say: No fucking way is this matte OR party proof. The color applies beautifully, smooth and creamy, but it comes right off just like any other lipstick. I waited around for it to turn matte, party proof, or something, but it never did. It absolutely left lipstick all over my drinks and my dude. I blotted it down, and that was helpful in keeping the color on my lips, but it was still transferring color. If they hadn’t claimed this lipstick was long wearing like that, I would have been totally happy with it. The dark hot pink color is really pretty, and I like the hydration you get. But, I don’t like being told something about a product that is 100% not true. Plus, my lipstick was broken at the base, so it’s moving around inside the tube a little. I don’t think the heat was very kind to it during shipping.

Marcelle BB Cream Golden Glow

What they said: True complexion illuminator with golden light reflecting pigments, the BB Cream Gold boosts radiance instantly and gives your skin a multitude of skincare benefits.

What I say: Loved it! I was shocked because my skin is notoriously hard to match, but the Marcelle BB Cream Gold blended right in, and made my skin look great. It wasn’t heavy, it evened out my tone, didn’t dry me out, and the golden sheen gave me a really pretty glow. I would really maybe buy this one! I don’t actually wear makeup out to run errands that much, but I’m going to use this little bottle and see how I like it. The moisturizing/correcting combo is pretty enticing.

Benta Berry G-1 Moisturizing Face Cream

What they said: A French best seller, this cream both hydrates and purifies, thanks to blueberry and dead nettle.

What I say: I liked this too! I’ve become pretty oily in my old age, which is totally fine. Oilier skin doesn’t wrinkle as fast! Buuuuuut, I do sometimes feel like I’m just melting off my makeup. This face cream claims to be mattifying. That was a little bit worrisome to me, since mattifying can often translate into drying. When I tried it out though, my concerns were unfounded. Since I’m usually extremely oily when I wake up, I put it on before bed one night, and when I woke up in the morning, my grease had been significantly decreased. My skin felt fine, not dry or gross. I wouldn’t use it all the time, since I don’t really mind my oils all that much, but it would be good for days when you really need a matte surface to lay down your face. Special events and stuff. Like I said, my skin felt fine. I liked it better on its own though. Also, this is the “SUITS” pick, as in that show on USA. So, that’s hilarious. Please call in “Burn Notice” next. I want Bruce Campbell picking out my lipsticks.

Color Club Collection Nail Polish in Put a Pin In It

What they said: This custom rose gold brightens andy summer ensemble – and looks great with a tan.

What I say: Hey, Nana! Want a new nail polish?!

Birchbox Bobby Pins

What they said: We designed these patterned pins to add style to summer hair with minimal effort.

What I say: They’re barrettes. They’re cute, I guess. They’re really hard to get open, and they hurt to take out. I will probably hardly ever, if ever, wear them.

*****

Overall, this was a pretty good box. I’m going to use most of the stuff that came in it, and the samples were really decent sized. The wait was aggravating, so I can’t give it a completely great review this month. But, it’s better than last month, and I really feel like I got my $10 worth out of this box.

Sign up for Birchbox HERE!

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Floss Gloss, Nails, Upcoming

Floss Gloss Fall 2013 Peep Show

The Baberaham Lincolns at Floss Gloss leaked their Fall 2013, ‘Princess of the Night’ collection, and it is THA DOPENESS.

ALL I WANT IS DOPENESS.

floss gloss moon baby preview

“‘MOON BABY’ – An icy, yet dusty, baby- blue creme”

floss gloss dinge preview

“‘DINGE’ – a bad girl nude with a touch of pink and of course dinginess”

**I’ve been looking for a nude this color for YEARS**

floss gloss black holy preview

“‘BLACK HOLY’ – glossy black”

floss gloss faded preview

“‘FADED’ – inspired by faded tattoo ink”

**SUPER excited for this color too!!**

What do you guys think? I’m so into it, last night, I was sitting in bed, quietly putting the lotion on the skin, and Jason says, “What are  you thinking about? You look like you’ve got something on your mind?” And I was like, “I’m just thinking about the Floss Gloss Fall line. I’m planning out my color combinations for my fingers and toes. I’ve got it all figured out.”

I’m going “DINGE” on my fingers and “FADED” on my toes first.

I really can’t wait. I’m stalking around all their social media pages waiting for the preorder to drop. I haven’t been this into an entire nail collection since “Thakoon for Nars” Summer 2012, and I look at A LOT of nail polish.

They will be mine. Oh yes. They will be mine.

 

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Floss Gloss, Nails

A Farewell to Nails

I have to trim off these beautiful babies today. They’ve turned against me in a spectacular fashion.

long nails

Color: Fastlane by Floss Gloss

I lost a nail, on my left hand, pulling up my wet bathing suit the other night. It snapped straight across, and up so high, I couldn’t pull it off.  I tried to wait until I got home to handle it, but it was so blindingly painful every time I accidentally touched it, I broke down and used someone else’s unclean nail scissors to cut it off. HORRIFYING! That’s an esthetician’s nightmare right there. You can’t unlearn all that cross contamination stuff.

Two of my other nails are on the verge of a similar fate. I can see they’ve already tried to split across the middle, but not at the edges. One of my thumbs, just this morning, broke beyond my patching abilities. That’s pretty gruesome stuff.

They gots ta go! I’m sad, but I don’t think I’m the one who’s going to miss them the most.

rowdy scratchers

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Floss Gloss, Nails

Floss Gloss Lacquer in Pony

flossglosspony

Pony, Floss Gloss, $8

Floss Gloss is really good at introducing colors I didn’t know I desperately needed. Neon peach is not a color I would have considered for myself before I got Pony, but I’ve fallen in love with it.

flossglosspony2

What are you, kidding me? How hot is this?! It’s apt the color is called Pony because it’s amazingly sexy and it reminds me of one of the horniest songs of all time, “Pony” by Ginuwine. A hot thing to do, would be to dance a sexy striptease to “Pony” while you run your Pony tipped fingers all over your sexxxay boddday. BAM. Unstoppable.

This color make me look super tan, and it gives me, what I like to call, DIVA HANDS or LADY HANDS. Like Babs.

babsnails

OG DIVA NAILS

This is my third bottle of Floss Gloss polish. I’ve been wearing their colors, exclusively, for almost a month, and they’re all great. Combined with my base and top coats, I’ve gotten at least a week’s wear, without chipping, from each bottle. I really appreciate that, especially since chips are so much more obvious on bright colors. I’ve also noticed that, during all three manicures, I thought I messed up the wet polish enough to warrant removal and re-polishing, but by the time I’d finish the top coat on the rest of my fingers, that bumped, smeared, or otherwise gooped up nail would have leveled itself out to the point that I could just put on top coat and everything was perfect.

My camera couldn’t do this color justice. In some light it was brighter and orangey, in some light it was a soft pink, in photos, it was more nude. All week, I’ve been wracking my brain, trying to remember where I’d seen this color before.

Last night, it finally hit me.

Conch

All the shades I’ve seen in Pony, you can see here.

WHEW! THANK GAWD I was able to nail it down. It was driving me crazy!

Besides being dope as hell, Pony is just flat out pretty. I actually had the thought to myself that I wished I could go back in time and wear it at my wedding.

I’m legitimately sad to have to take this polish off to swatch another color.

Buy it HERE.

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Maintenance, Nails

ASP Nail Wrap Kit

Did you guys know you could patch a torn natural nail? I didn’t. All these years, I’ve been breaking one nail and then mournfully cutting off the other nine. Finding out now that things could have been different all along, well….it smarts. Growing out your nails is hard work! You can’t open soda cans, umm, you have to wear rubber gloves when you wash dishes, you have to be careful opening doors and stuff. Like I said, hard work!

Almost 2 weeks ago, I found a little tear in one of my nails. It was the kind that was up in the pink, so you know it’s bad. Not only are you going to lose your nail with one of those tears, but it’s going to hurt like a mother in the process. Then, you have to deal with that soft, pink, nail bed. It’s like a turtle without a shell! Just all exposed and sad. I’ve been growing out these nails since my white manicure, and I was not going to let them go without a fight. After a little internet sleuthing, some television, maybe a nosh, I headed for the Sally Beauty closest to my house to see what I could work up.

SIDE NOTE: Do you guys dislike going to Sally like I do? Maybe it’s because I usually beauty supply shop in the pro shops (ASSHOLE ALERT), but the Sally stores, and most of the girls working in them, are kinda tacky and dated. Am I just a snob?

8ball

Damn.

During my investigative process, I found people saying you could fix a nail with fiberglass nail wraps and nail glue. So, at the beauty supply, I ended up buying this ASP Nail Wrap Kit. I *think* it’s for doing at home acrylics, but it has everything in it, besides alcohol, you’d need to do a nail repair.

Screen Shot 2013-06-24 at 9.47.15 AM

ASP Nail Wrap Kit, Sally Beauty, $14.99-$16.99

This is so, so, so easy. Stupid easy. You’ll be shocked!

First things first, gather up your supplies. Besides the kit, you’ll need little scissors, tweezers, rubbing alcohol, cotton balls, a paper towel, a plastic shopping bag, and a nail buffer. I use this buffer.

This particular kit comes with “resin activator” whatever that is. I didn’t show you those steps, because I don’t think they’re necessary. You could just buy nail glue and fiberglass nail wraps to do this if you don’t want to get the kit.

The only pre-steps warnings I have are these: DO NOT touch your nail with your other fingers after you’ve cleaned it. Be careful not to touch the wraps themselves too much too. You really don’t want any finger oils compromising your patch. AND, the paper towel is for under your work area. Come on, be responsible. Don’t flick nail glue all over your table.

Last warning: pee first. That’s good advice for all nail work right thurr.

nailfix1

This part is so important. You have to remove any oil from your nail, or the patch won’t take. Clean your nail in the direction of the tear, so you don’t make it worse.

nailfix2

Trim just enough to cover a little past the tear, and enough to wrap under if you can.

nailfix3

I didn’t put it on my entire nail, just the area with the tear.

nailfix4

Use your tweezers to carefully place the wrap. Don’t use your fingers. Oils!

nailfix5

Using your finger inside the plastic bag, or the round end of your tweezers, smooth out the wrap.

nailfix6

Don’t glob it on, but be sure the wrap is fully saturated and smooth on the nail.

nailfix7

When the glue is dry, about 15 minutes, using a nail buffer, buff the nail until all the shiny spots are gone.

And that’s it! It might seem like a lot of work, but once you get the hang of it, not counting drying time, it took me maybe 2 minutes per nail. Way less time than it takes me to trim and shape all ten nails, and way less time than it takes to grow out a new one. I’ve had 2 patches on for nearly two weeks, and they don’t show any signs of lifting, peeling, or failing. My patched nails are all still intact, and under polish, you can’t even tell they’re there. Even without polish, you can’t really see the wraps.

Isn’t this so exciting? This is a whole new innovation for me. Nail repair! The way of the future!

 

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Nails

SLIME TIME Nail Decals

slimetime1

SLIME TIME Nail Decals, $15

WHAAAAT?! POSSIBILITIES:

  1. CUNT PUNT
  2. PIZZA PIZZA
  3. ANUSTART
  4. GRRRL PLZ
  5. REDRUM
  6. SUPERGOO
  7. LIL SPOOKY

These nail decals by Sara M. Lyons are SPEAKING to my inner teen goth. They make me wanna plaster swear words all over my nails, maybe smoke some cloves, probably hit the mall to pick up some new incense.

I mean, seriously. I am gaga-hearts-in-my-eyes for these decals.

BUY THEM (FOR ME) HERE.

P.S. Want these CUTE & SLEAZY decals 2 plz. DAMMIT, I SAID PLZ.

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