This spam comment has me mystified. I’ve been clicking over to the spam folder just to read it over and over. It’s like getting an ominous riddle inside a fortune cookie. What does it mean?!
an elaborate system of scheming
an elaborate system of scheming
AN ELABORATE SYSTEM OF SCHEMING
I can’t even touch the part about the misery that awaited us. What are you talking about, ugg bebe?!
Oh man. I ate a ton of little candies last night. I got all hopped up on sugar, and then I crashed. I woke up this morning feeling terrible. Is this what kids feel like the day after Halloween, or, am I just an old lady? I don’t know, but I have a ton of candy left and I’m surfing the crimson wave, so I’m basically just going to sit on the candy bowl while I dump the rest of the bags into my mouth until I either stop or start crying. We’ll see how I’m feeling. Thanks for everything, body! You’re a real shithead sometimes.
Other than enduring a visit from Tia Rojo, this has been my first full week back to work here at the Lab Bunny in I don’t know how long. I am SPENT! I don’t know how some of these other blogs do so many posts a day. Don’t they have television shows to watch?!
Speaking of television shows, can we talk about American Horror Story aka The Reason TV Was Invented? I am a HUGE AHS fan. American Horror Story is my Breaking Bad. Like, Breaking Bad is a good show, I get it, but BB can eat it next to AHS. EAT. IT. Now, I’m not all the way through Breaking Bad yet, but I’m pretty sure Walter White never fell in love with the ghost of a school shooter, or became a possessed nun, or went to witch war against Ms. Tina Turner. Gimme a show where Dylan McDermott cries and jacks it at the same time, or give me nothing. This season is about female power, and I am INTO IT. Jessica Lange is fantastic, as usual, but I’m really excited about Frances Conroy’s character, Myrtle Snow. They’re so obviously dressing her as Grace Coddington, and she looks fucking fabulous. I can’t even take it.
Grace.
Myrtle.
I want those red, ruffled gloves so bad. When they made their appearance on Wednesday night’s show, I literally gasped. I’m not sure, but I’m pretty positive I’d never take them off.
When AHS is over at the end of the season, I am so, so sad. I wish it was on year round. This year, the first episode of the new season debuted a few days after my birthday, and it made me want to skip right over my birthday, just to get my show that much faster. You never know what’s going to happen on this show!! Like, making predictions are fun, but they never matter because they hardly ever come true. This year, I saw alligators come back from the dead and eat some dudes. Zombie alligators. Why? WHY NOT?!
First rule of AHS: You ALWAYS talk about AHS.
Second rule of AHS: Don’t ask why. “Why?” and AHS do not belong together.
Mad Men used to be my favorite show. Mad Men is still one of my favorite shows, but my passion for it has never reached AHS heights. I’m becoming an obsessed weirdo with a television show. Like Dr. Who people. Dr. Who people are nuts! But, I get it now! Dylan McDermott’s murder gazebo from Season 1 is like my magic phone booth, or whatever.
You guys. This season has Patti LuPone. LUUUUPOOOOONE. She’s a holy roller with shirtless hunks for sons who all live next door to a boarding school for teenage witches.
Sometimes, I think the writers just have a bunch of different words written on scraps of paper in a witch hat, and they just pull random ideas out of the hat and write a show. I love it. I really, really do.
I sat down to write a little post about my week, and it just ended up being about American Horror Story. So, you know what? Fuck it. Friday I’m in Love with American Horror Story. And I have every reason to believe it’s in love with me. This season, in particular, feels like a love letter to me. Every stage of my life has had its pop culture witches, The Witches, The Craft and now American Horror Story Coven. I’m all grown up now, and I like my witches to be POWER BITCHES with gorgeous outfits.
HASHTAGTHEWITCHISBACK. HASHTAGBLACKISTHENEWBLACK.
The first season is on Netflix. It’s scary and so funny. The second season hasn’t show up yet, and the third season is 4 episodes in. I’m not sure if you could pick it up right now, but maybe! Really, every week a new story develops, so you might as well try to jump in now!
Water spots on my knife! THE HORROR…THE HORROR…
Happy Halloween, BOOS!!
Is everyone ready for tonight? We are! I went to Target yesterday and bought a giant bag of 425 pieces of Wonka candy. I thought I was being smart by buying candy we wouldn’t eat, but that plan backfired when I found out there was no such thing as candy we wouldn’t eat. Oh well! If the trick or treaters want a shot at anything besides banana Laffy Taffy, they should start showing up NOW. I can’t guarantee the Sweet Tarts will make it to nightfall.
In the spirit of the season, I decided to go outside my usual nail zone and add a little gore to my digits. Floss Gloss inspired me on Instagram, and I used this tutorial from Honestly WTF to learn how to do the bloody drips. It’s not as hard as it looks, but it takes a minute. I sat at the table for half an hour doing the tips without even realizing it.
Weirdly, the hand I painted with my dominant hand sort of got away from me. But, that’s something cool about this look, if you fuck it up, it’s kind of hard to tell.
Floss Gloss’ Moon Baby and Blood, Suede & Tears
I used all Floss Gloss colors for this look; Moon Baby for the base, and Blood, Suede & Tears for the tips. Such an awesome combination! Moon Baby is a gorgeous icy background, and Blood, Suede & Tears couldn’t look more like dried blood. PERFECT!!!
The tutorial explained the art really well. I used little puddles of polish on a paper plate and a bunch of toothpicks to make the process a little easier. Two things about doing this nail art that are important though: One, wait until your base color is COMPLETELY dry. If you don’t, you’ll make a huge mess. Two, when you draw the lines that connect the blood drop to the nail tip, don’t apply pressure to your toothpick. The line won’t come out, you’ll split the polish right up the center. Lightly drag the tip of the toothpick instead of actively drawing with it. I learned that one after struggling with the first nail.
The tips were actually sort of a mess when I was done, but, thanks to my Seche Vite top coat, you can’t tell. That top coat is really the best. Besides its super fast drying time, the formula smoothes and covers a multitude of sins. Clumps, streaks, uneven edges, all fixed by my top coat.
I’m pretty proud of myself for attempting something new that could have very easily ended with my fingers a giant mess. I guess it could have gone either way, trick or treat. Luckily, it ended up being a treat! I love my festive nails right now!
Enjoy the day, ghouls and boys! Since I can’t give you candy through your screens, please enjoy these sonic Halloween ear treats.
http://youtu.be/ChlW283_33s
http://youtu.be/u3hisYcaL1E
One of the best things about having this site is getting to see the summaries of search engine terms that bring people to the Lab Bunny every day. In this grab bag of internet psyche, some of the searches are hilarious, some are disturbing, and some are actually decent. Here are some little quickie answers to help with these UNSOLVED SEARCH HYSTERIES!!
trader joe’s coconut body butter ingredients
WHOA. I just flipped over my jar to check the list, and it is EXTENSIVE. Here we go…
purified water, cocos nucifera (coconut) oil, cetyl alcohol, caprice/caprylic triglyceride, glyceryl stearate se, glycerin, stearyl alcohol, butyrospermum, parkii (shea) butter, aloe barbadensis leaf juice*, salvia sclarea (clary) extract*, tocopheryl acetate (vitamin E), citrus grandis (grapefruit) fruit extract*, yucca schidigera extract*, dimethicone, citrus aurantium dulcis (orange) peel extract*, rosmarinus officinalis (rosemary) leaf extract*, althaea officinalis root (marshmallow) extract*, cymbopogon schoenanthus (lemongrass) extract*, carbomer, centella asiatica extract*, chamomilla recutita (matricaria) flower extract, polysorbate 20, humulus lupulus (hops) extract*, sodium benzoate, disodium edta, citrus medica limonum (lemon) peel extract*, equisetum arvense extract*, vaccinium myrtillus fruit/leaf extract, fragrance ethylhexylglycerin, phenoxyethanol, sodium hydroxide, potassium sorbate (*certified organic ingredients)
You guys. Where am I? Are those real words? If anyone wants to know what those words all mean exactly, I can’t help with that. Consult your local Wikipedia.
is the neutrogena wave a vibrator
Anything can be a vibrator if you want it bad enough! But, yes. It’s definitely a vibrator.
i cut thru my nail bed with a razor can i super glue it
OH MY GOD ARE YOU OK?! I don’t know for sure if you can do this! Maybe? Super glue is used in a lot of medical offices in place of stitches, so, yeah, maybe. Nail glue is practically super glue, so I don’t really see why not. If you’re just trying to glue your nail back together, that’d probably work. I’d be afraid that my nail would always be stuck to the nail bed right there, and it would never grow out. But, what the fuck do I know?
do nail wraps look cheap
Some do! The wraps from NCLA don’t! Those are my favorite wraps right now. Every design I’ve bought has looked sharp and clear. I mean, they have this set, Seeing Signs, that actually looks like hundred dollar bills. So, yeah, those look really expensive!
smeared lipstick on a dick
Come on, man. What a waste of lipstick. Is this what you perverts are using the internet for?! Al Gore must be rolling over in his grave!
big boobs lush pubes
Put it on my headstone.
Keep on Googling with one hand, weirdos! I SEE YOU.
The Muse over at Musings of a Muse has all the info on the upcoming sale!
Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like regular Beauty Insider cardholders are going to get the 20% off coupon. That really eats balls, because I’m only $50 away from VIB status. This one is on me for not buying enough makeup, I guess. But, shit, man! My kid needs shoes! She has four feet, after all! I don’t know if you know this, but that’s double the amount of feet most kids have. Double! Double the school shoes, double the church shoes, double the summer sandals, double the sneakers!
It’s just a good thing she doesn’t eat that much.
Anyways! If you’re a VIB, congratulations! If you’re just a BI, like me, then kick rocks, I guess.
***YET ANOTHER UPDATE***
Sephora tweeted they’re doing something special for regular BI cardholders soon! I’ll keep an eye out, and post the information as soon as I see it.
It’s been a long time since I talked about how my co-wash/no poo hair system was going, so let me do an update.
FUCK THIS.
I’m tempted to just say, “The End” now, but because seriously, FUCK THIS. But, I’ll spill my guts. You guys already know I have a dandruff problem, so we have no secrets.
Things were pretty ok for a while; I was doing the original plan of Suave conditioner as a cleanser followed by an apple cider vinegar rinse. My hair was pretty shiny at first, and my dandruff seemed to be clearing up. Then, things started to get dry. So, I tried several different sulfate free conditioners to try and give my hair more moisture. I went through salon brands, health food store brands, and back to salon brands before I found something from Pureology that seemed to work ok. Since we have terribly hard water, I also picked up a purifying shampoo from Pureology to use once a week. I figured this wasn’t a deal breaker on my plan since their products are all free of sulfates and the other harsh ingredients usually found in shampoo.
That was sort of semi ok for a while too.
Do you see the pattern?
I started to realize the Suave conditioner, on its own, was not going to work for me, that I probably needed something a little creamier and heavier to get through my thick, color treated hair. Enter L’Oreal Paris EverCreme Sulfate-Free Moisture System Cleansing Conditioner
This had great reviews, and despite the AWFUL (burning plastic!) smell, it, too, seemed to work really well for me at first. But, guess what?
Did you guess this didn’t work out?!
If you did, you’re right! If you didn’t, you’re not paying attention to the theme of this post!
Besides my never ending issue with the HUGE amount of product I have to use to cleanse my hair with conditioner, it always took me forever to finally work it all the way through my scalp; I was having to section my hair off to get all of it, and that was a huge pain in the ass. My hair went right back to getting dry, and, like, matte feeling. Does that make sense? It looked and felt so dull. My roots felt different from the length of my hair, and that felt different from the ends of my hair. My dandruff got worse and worse, and my hair seemed like it was all just wanting to fall out. My hair is always falling out anyways, but this felt really different. This felt wrong.
*OH SHNAP! I was just writing this, and it was making me angry, then iTunes radio played “No Diggity,” and I’m starting to feel a little better. It’s ok, Sarah. Play on, player.*
The final straw came when I looked down at my shoulders over the weekend and I was totally disgusted by the flakes. I just can’t do this anymore. I really gave it a shot, and don’t think it’s for me. Maybe I was doing it wrong? I don’t fucking know. I don’t even care anymore. Dull, coarse, heavy, dandruff, DONE. I’m so happy I was smart enough to not throw away my last bottle of real shampoo in a fit of hubris. I broke out that bottle of Head & Shoulders, and went to town on my head. I conditioned with my Pureology conditioner, and my hair is so, so, so much better today. It’s softer, shinier, and sleeker. From root to tips, it’s all the same texture. See, kids? This is what happens when you’re never satisfied. There wasn’t really anything wrong with my hair to begin with, I was just bummed about using dandruff shampoo for the rest of my life, and I got caught up in the hope of a brighter, easier future. It was not to be. I was chasing a pipe dream. I’m back to washing my hair like a regular person. Head & Shoulders might not be the most glamorous shampoo out there, but dammit, it works for me. I gotta say, that one with the pink cap, the Smooth & Silky one? It’s a pretty nice shampoo. It gets my hair clean and shiny and it doesn’t smell like it might be burning my brain cells.
So? Who is this system for? I would say if you have curly, or frizzy hair, this will probably work for you better than it works for me. That L’Oreal cleansing conditioner has fawning reviews on Amazon and Ulta, so it works great for some hair types! If you have heavy, or mostly straight hair, you might want to stick to shampoo. But, everyone has a different head, different scalps, and whatnot. You never know! I wouldn’t want to discourage someone else from trying this, but if you do, and it doesn’t work, don’t feel bad. Play on, player!
Hex Nail Jewelry Half Body Nail Shield and Side Nail Shield, $2.25 each
Let’s talk about Hex, baby! Let’s talk about these and me! Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that will be…
I bought these nail shields the second they were available. I’d been keeping a lookout for them to go on sale because I was not going to miss having this FABULOUS hardware on my nails. I placed my order, got super excited, and waited for them to show up in the mail.
Hex Nail Shields over Floss Gloss’ Dinge
Whoops! I forgot to take more pictures, and so now you guys get to see a little peek into my living room. There’s my couch, and one of my pillows, and part of my lamp. Pretty boring stuff, right? What you can’t see, out of frame, that’s where all the magic is happening. I can’t tell you what’s going on outside these pictures, that’s classified.
When they came in, honestly, I was a little bit concerned. Some of the plating on one of them was sort of cracked and funny, and there appeared to be some discrepancies in the size and thickness of the charms. But, I forged ahead anyways because I am impatient. I took them with me to a nail appointment to have my manicurist apply them, and we ran into more problems! It was hard to get the charms to match up to the curves of my nails, the edges were hard to glue down flush to the nail surface, and, they were sort of big for my nails. If you have acrylics, or whatever, you might have an easier time with these. Even with my nails pretty grown out, I had a little bit of overhang. Again, I forged ahead.
See? I make dumb mistakes so you don’t have to.
When we finally got them all settled on my nails. I was IN LUST. I mean, look at them. They look so fucking cool. Outstandingly cool. Your hands look beautifully adorned with just flat out absolute coolness. This is where my big conflict with these charms comes in. My experience with them was they didn’t wear as well as the previous Hex charms I’d used, but they look so amazing, I can’t totally be mad about it.
I got my nails done on a Friday afternoon, by Sunday, I’d lost all four of my nail shields. Not lost forever, but they’d all popped off at some point over the weekend. I lost one in the car later that day while I was delicately scratching my head, I lost two of them in the shower, and another one just popped off. I was re-gluing them all weekend. I had to at least get them through until Sunday night, because we had a very busy social calendar in LA that weekend, and there was no way I was going out with my nails covered in dried glue remnants. Also, there was no way I was going out without being able to get all the compliments that would for sure come my way once people saw how amazing my nails looked. So, I fixed them as best I could, and went out. I was right about the compliments, btw. Because, like I said, THEY LOOK AWESOME.
AUUUUGHHHH!!!! It makes me so mad when things like this don’t work how I want them to work. I wanted them to be easy peasy like the other charms, but they just weren’t. I kept catching them in my hair, it was so annoying to glue them back on a bunch of times, I put a top coat over one to try to seal an edge, and my nail turned greenish grey, also, I almost threw up when I had to pick them out of the hotel shower drain. What else was I going to do?! Leave them?! No way! I have determination, dammit.
Ultimately, I have mixed feelings about these charms. Hex does really, really cool stuff, and I’m willing to give these charms the benefit of the doubt that they were kind of funny because they were the first run. I try really hard not to be super picky, because I know I’m super picky and that’s annoying, but I also know I have a bad habit of keeping my mouth shut when I should speak up. I really have no doubt that if I’d contacted Hex about the cracked plating on one of my charms, they would have sent another one. They’ve been super cool with any other questions I’ve had about their products, and as best I can tell, they’re really into keeping their customers happy. So, it’s kind of my fault for going ahead with them anyways even though I had my concerns. I still have all my charms, and I do plan on wearing them again. Now I just know that I shouldn’t plan to have them on for a long period of time, but, if I want to wear them out for a night, they’ll be totally fine.
Both of these nail shield styles are sold out right now, and I wonder if anyone else had the problems I did. Maybe I was a fluke? Maybe my nails are too little. Maybe I’m hesitant to assign any blame here because, sometimes, these things just happen.
I still love all my Hex charms so much, and when they come out with the next set of nail shields, I’ll buy them because I am ever optimistic, and also stubborn. I can’t give my whole hearted recommendation on these because of all the frustration I encountered, but, if you love the look of them, definitely pull the trigger on buying them. Just be aware that you might not get a real long wear, and you will probably definitely get some hair caught under one of the edges. But, like so many beauty products, they’re potentially worth the trouble for the look. Do you SEE those pictures? How great do they look?! And on that dirty pink color?! UGH! GORGEOUS.
Lace up dem shopping shoes, babies! The Sephora Friends & Family Sale is coming soon!
If you know a Sephora employee, you can get an early coupon code now. But, for the rest of us, BI and VIB cardholders will be able to access the sale sometime in November. There isn’t an exact date available yet, so keep your eyes on your email! And if you haven’t signed up for Sephora’s Beauty Insider card, I don’t know what you’re doing with your life. It’s the rare store loyalty card that really pays off, and considering it doesn’t cost you anything to sign up for it, you’re really coming out on top! That’s a return of, like, a million percent on your investment of $0. Look at you, business lady! Buy! Sell! Graphs! Changing out of your sneakers into your heels at the office! Shoulder pads! Working hard for the money!
Get your lists together now. I’m working on mine! Don’t get in my way though while I’m shopping with a coupon code. I might be in a frenzy and I can’t be held responsible for the actions of my teeth or fists. I suggest going into this sale with a solid list, your hair in a ponytail, and your earrings off. That way if you have to smack someone over some Marc Jacobs lipstick, you’re all ready for it.
Besides the (hopefully) 20% off F&F discount, it’s almost time for the holiday appreciation gift cards to start showing up in the mail. I LOVE those. $15, $20 off! You can’t beat it! Get yourself signed up for the BI card, watch your email, watch your mailbox, then gets to shopping! By the time the sale starts, all the holiday sets and products will be out, so you can pick up some great stuff! I’M SO EXCITED!!
When Urban Decay released their new lipsticks this summer, I was STOKED. I’ve always loved their lip colors, the pigmentation is beautiful and the wear is always great, but the packaging was killing me with that little dagger handle sticking out the end, and I was never a big fan of the creme brulee scent (flavor?).
But, ohhhhhhhh baby.
Their new Revolution line of lipsticks is perfect; sleek packaging, the color payoff I expect from UD, and devoid of any fragrance. The overhaul was spot on in every way. When I go to Sephora, I just stand in front of the display and stare.
I was able to settle on 69 pretty easily because it was a red I didn’t already have. That’s pretty unusual for me, a lot of times, red is red. But, 69 is a pinky red that was totally foreign to my stash. It’s so hot! It’s like my two favorite lip colors, blue based fuchsia and true red, had the world’s most sexiest baby.
Besides the gorgeous color, 69 has a creamy formula with a brilliant glossy finish. It’s really an all around great lipstick. You’ll get hours of wear, and everyone will want to put their mouth on yours. That’s the point of every lipstick for me. YOU ALL WANT TO KISS ME BUT YOU CAN’T ALL KISS ME.
I know this picture is weirdly lit, and outside, but I thought it really showed all the pink that’s in this color. I was having a hard time getting it in front of my backdrop. I don’t know what happened, it’s like I suddenly got really bad at photos.
So far, 69 is the only one of the new lipsticks I’ve bought. I kept trying to win the full collection, but it was, like, me and everyone else. I’ve got my eye on a couple other colors right now, they’ll probably be joining the fold soon.
I’m a HUGE UD fan. I’ve been buying their lipstick since before I could drive! It totally thrills me to see a line I love so much always trying to push forward with their products. Having said that….
I would freak out if they introduced a small throwback collection. I would love to get my hands on another tube of Gash in that old, shotgun shell case. I had my last old tubes of Gash and Bruise for years, and I kick myself all the time for throwing them away! It was expired lipstick, but it was beauty memorabilia. It’d be so cool to have those sitting on my vanity again!
Ugh! I’m getting so nostalgic.
To new lipstick!! To progress!!
October Birchbox was another good one! I love a full size product, gurl!
12 Benefits Instant Healthy Hair Treatment
What they said: Created by two industry experts, this heroic, all-in-one detangles, protects, and heals.
What I say: I love this treatment spray! My hair has been a little gross at the ends from going blonde, and this spray has been great for that!
dr. brandt light years away whitening cream cleanser/whitening renewal system
What they said: Two step brightening system for fading dark spots with antioxidant Active Marine C Complex.
What I say: I haven’t tried this yet! Why it gotta be whitening tho?
dr. brandt microdermabrasion skin exfoliant
What they said: Breakthrough at home treatment for a glowing complexion.
What I say: This is a really nice exfoliant. My skin was definitely smoother and brighter after using it. However, I did sustain a minor breakout after I used it. I don’t know if the zits and the product are related, but…maybe. I’ll have to conduct further research into the matter.
theBalm cosmetics Stainiac in Beauty Queen
What they said: Bestselling stain that gives cheeks and lips a sheer, rosy tint.
What I say: This was cool. It was gel instead of liquid, which is nice for application. But, for me personally, I’m not a huge fan of stains. I don’t know, they just don’t work for me. Like, they literally don’t work for me. It’s like my lips repel the color. The brand doesn’t matter, the formula for stains plus my lips equals nothing.
BIRCHBOX FIND: ChapStick Hydration Lock
What they said: Clinically proven to moisturize lips from 9-5. It also doubles as a lip primer and comes chock full of damage defending antioxidants like CoQ10 and Vitamin E.
What I say: WHAAAAAAAT?!?! This ChapStick is amazing! Actually amazing! Like, I was amazed! As soon as I started using it, I noticed a huge difference in the look and texture of my lips. The copy on the packaging promises a fuller and smoother appearance, and this product really delivered. My lips are soft and smooth even when I don’t have any of this product on, and I love it as a lip primer. I’m super stoked to find a lip balm I love that’s not crazy expensive. Plus, my Birchbox came with a $1 off coupon for my next tube. Love it!
I’m still really enjoying my Birchbox subscription. I love getting things I wouldn’t have noticed in the store, like the ChapStick, and it’s pretty freaking fun to open up my delivery every month and see what I got for Monthly Beauty Christmas.
Get your own Birchbox subscription HERE!
