Hair, Upcoming

Surprise! Coconut Oil Hair Mask!

I’ve got coconut oil, a hotel shower cap, very dry ends, a mildly ambitious attitude, and last night’s Project Runway.

I’m going to get to the bottom of this coconut oil as hair mask situation for myself. Plus, this is going to be a good way to force myself into taking a shower.

First impression: I smell delicious. Makes me want a macaroon REAL BAD.

I’ll report back later!

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Links, MAC

RiRi Hearts MAC Fall 2013 Peek

Screen Shot 2013-09-12 at 11.47.17 AM

The RiRi Hearts MAC Fall 2013 collection is getting ready to hit stores, and it looks so good! Lots of new colors, and the return of RiRi Woo!

mac rihanna fall

The collection is available online on October 2nd, and in stores October 3rd. See more photos and prices HERE.

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Eyeshadow, Face, Floss Gloss, Lips, Personal, Sephora Collection, Smashbox

Birthday List

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve tried to become the kind of person who can just be cool about their birthday; or, one of those people who can at least pretend to be cool about their birthday. It won’t take. I can’t be an, “Oh. It was my birthday last week, I just didn’t say anything. I don’t like to make a big deal,” person. It’s just not in me. I’m sorry, everyone. We’re just going to have to keep eating cake.

Except this year, we’re having pie. Because crust.

Look, I used to make my birthday lists in August. My birthday is less than a month away (Oct. 5th, if you’re curious. LIBRA LADIES REPRESENT.), so I think this is appropriate. As appropriate as a 31 year old woman with a public birthday wish list can be anyways. And this isn’t even everything! This is the stuff I’m super obsessed with right now! PERSONAL GROWTH.

Floss Gloss Nail Lacquers in STUN & DIMEPIECE

fg stun

STUN

fg dimepiece

DIMEPIECE

Every time I buy polish from Floss Gloss, I hover over these two glitters. I can never make up my mind, so I just end up without either one of them. Isn’t that a sad story?

I want one of these sexy stickers too.

fg skripper

SKRIPPER STICKER

This sticker would give my laptop a little bit of, how you say, je ne sais ass and titties. It’s subtle, but I think it will work.

Smashbox The Master Class Palette II

smashbox mc2I wanted the original Master Class Palette, but I waited too long, and I didn’t get it. Another sad story! Lucky for all of us Smashbox released their Master Class Palette II! I want to put this into my makeup bag and never let it leave. It will travel everywhere with me! It’ll see the world! Won’t someone PLEASE give this poor palette a chance to make something of itself!?

 Han Cholo РLoco Skull Ring in Brass Plated Gold, in 9

han cholo ring

‘AY. How cool is this ring?! Too fucking cool, right? It would look pretty great on my hands, and it would let everyone know what’s up. Namely, that I’m way, way loco. I take pills for it, but science can only go so far. People think Jason is the one to look out for, because he’s 6’5, and his fists look like hams; but you really gotta watch out for me. While you’re all distracted by Jason way up there, I’ll come in under your eye line and CUT CHU, MANG. Nah. I’m just playin’. I won’t cut chu. UNLESS YOU ASK FOR IT.

Nah.

YES!

5 Drawer Acrylic Case

acrylic makeup storage

I WANT THIS SO BAD! I would really like to be able to see more of my makeup. The majority of it is packed away into a giant train case in my closet. I can’t gaze upon them from there. Also, you guys wouldn’t believe the stuff thats’s just sitting in there, never getting used, because it’s out of sight and out of mind. If you really think about it, this is kind of an investment that actually saves us money! If my forgotten eyeshadows are out where I can see them, they’ll get used, and they won’t go to waste. See! I’ve got all the best moneymaking ideas. You gotta spend money to make money! That’s what I always say. Or is it that I always just say spend money? I can’t remember. Better spend some money just to be on the safe side.

SEPHORA COLLECTION Cream Lip Stain in 04 Endless Purple

sephora lip stain2

I’ve really liked all of the Sephora branded lip products that I’ve bought in the past. In fact, for my birthday last year, I wore one of their matte long wear lipsticks in a crazy hot fuchsia. Natch. It stayed on for a loooong time. Through a lot of drinks, and birthday kisses and dip. I’m into this gloss, I’m curious how it stacks up to the stila stain that was in my Birchbox last month.

*****

Well, there you have it, some of the things that will ease my transition into 32. The rest of the things that will help are drinks, friends, tacos, and pie. And drinks. And pie. And some of that potion from “Death Becomes Her” that keeps you young forever.

 

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Nails

Say AHHHH!

butt polish

Here’s this nail polish, ThermoCutex, in France that changes colors with your rectal temperature. In case you really need to know, right this second!!

You guys. Let’s get some of this stuff and allllll finger each other’s butts! FOR OUR HEALTH.

for your health

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Beauty Idols, Lips, MAC, Upcoming

ELEGANZA

MAC Ru Viva Glam

MAC has brought back their original burgundy-red Viva Glam lipstick from 1994! With original Viva Glam SUPERMODEL OF THE WORLD, RuPaul!

I actually don’t have any of the Viva Glam lipsticks, but, I think the beginning is probably a good place to start. I’m into it! Ru is my Oprah, and as a person from the 90s, I have a deep understanding of burgundy lipsticks.

I’m going to buy it without even trying it on, because I know it doesn’t matter what I do, everything looks good on me. Supermodel.

Speaking of Ru and Supermodel, when was the last time you watched the “Supermodel” video?

Ru is everydamnthang in this video! She’s so fucking funny, it kills me! And the shout outs to all the 90’s Supermodels? LAWD, that makes my Evangelista loving heart skip a beat.

The 90’s were an amazing time. If you need more proof of this, allow me to take you to my happy place:

ru and nirvana

I just might make this my iphone screen.

Feel free to use it as your happy place too. Whenever you feel bad, just do a Google image search for the Ru and Nirvana. There are all kinds of photos! Ru holding a crying Frances Bean and trying to console her?! DEAD. I AM DEAD NOW.

Am I off topic? We were talking about Viva Glam. We can talk about the 90s any time. We can talk about RuPaul all the time, if you want. I mean, I’ve been thinking about hugging her since 1993. True Story: Ru tweeted back to me once about Miss J, from ANTM, and I got dizzy. Worlds were colliding and I couldn’t take it.

Buy Viva Glam The Original HERE. Every cent of the selling price ($15) goes towards helping people living with HIV/AIDS.

 

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Bargain Beauty, Lips, NYX Cosmetics

NYX Cosmetics Matte Lipstick in Indie Flick

NYX Indie Flick 1

NYX Indie Flick 2

Ulta, $5.99

This is another foray into drugstore lipstick for me. I’ll be honest with you, over the last 10 years or so, I really haven’t bought a lot of drugstore cosmetics. Once you get the sweet, sweet taste of prestige brands on your tongue, it’s hard to look back.

NYX Indie Flick face

“Could you be…the most beautiful girl in the world…”

As long as you crop out my lazy eye!

Yep. I’m a reeeeaal buttereye.

Also, I’m a butterbody. As in, body by butter.

LIPSTICK! How gorgeous is this color? So gorgeous! It looks like such a fierce orange in the tube, but on the lips, it’s a super pretty sort of coral color. Poppy colored? I kept thinking of poppies while I was editing these photos, so maybe that’s right. It’s not crazy orange. It’s punchy, right? So surprisingly wearable! I like to see how things look on people with different coloring that mine, so I had a pale, redheaded friend try it too. She bought one because she looked FLY.

For $6, this is a helluva lipstick. You could put it in a higher end tube and charge more for it, fo sho. It’s super creamy, and easy to control. Since it’s matte, it does have a little drag on it, but that’s ok. It’s to be expected with a matte lipstick. Although I don’t think this lipstick is drying, you’ll want to make sure your lips have been properly prepped before you put it on, because it will show every ragged bite mark you’ve chewed into your poor mouth.

Being matte, the wear time is pretty good. Without eating or drinking, you’ll get a few hours of use out of one application. It won’t slide around or transfer outside your lip line either.

I love this lipstick. I can’t believe I’ve been walking past the NYX displays for years. Not just walking past, but, like, actively turning my nose up at them. Well, joke’s on me, because I could have cheap, rad lipsticks all this time.

Will this put a stop to my snobbery? NOPE.

Did I learn a lesson? I DON’T KNOW. MAYBE. BUY MORE LIPSTICKS? IS THAT THE LESSON?

Buy this lipstick, for sure. That’s the lesson for you.

You can get it online, but you can get it at Target too, so why wait?!

Buy NYX Matte Lipstick in Indie Flick HERE.

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Floss Gloss, Nails, SALE

Floss Gloss FLASH SALE

Floss Gloss is having a 20% off flash sale until midnight tonight, 9/06. If you’re not a BIG IDIOT, you’ll get yourself some polish! They have all kinds of gorgeous, sexual colors…

Like this one:

floss gloss moon baby 2

Moon Baby

or this one:

floss gloss dinge 1

Dinge

How about this one?!

long nails

Fastlane

Maybe…THIS ONE?

flossglosspony2

Pony

Definitely this one!

conlimon1

Con Limon

Like I said, the sale is only today, 9/06, until midnight.

Buy Floss Gloss HERE. Enter code: NASCAR for 20% off!

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