That’s my bag, baby!

Check it out, guys! Austin Powers joke! BA-BAM! COMEDY.

So, Jason got me a new makeup bag for my birthday, and I’m doing the big swap/clean right now. I thought I’d run down a list of the things I always have in my makeup bag for you guys. It’s going to be a long list.

makeup bag

I’m doing this on the couch while I watch CONAN.

Let’s start on the left, and work our way up.

Blushes and Bronzers

MAC Sheertone Blush in “Peaches”

Urban Decay Baked Bronzer in “Gilded”

NARS Blush in “Super Orgasm” (ALL TIME FAVE)

MAC Creme Bronzer in “Beach Bronze”

MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in “Give Me Sun”

MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in “Redhead”

Mascaras

Benefit “They’re Real”

Benefit “Bad Gal Plum”

Concealers, Highlighters and Primers

Benefit “High Beam”

Marcelle BB Cream in “Golden Glow”

Benefit “Watt’s Up”

NARS Pore-Prime Pore Refining Primer

MAC Select Cover-Up in NW20

Tarte Clean Slate Face Primer

MAC Lustre Drops in “Sun Rush”

MAC Select Moisture Cover in NC20

Urban Decay Lip Primer Potion

Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion in “Eden” (ALL TIME FAVE)

Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion

Eyeshadow Palettes

Urban Decay Naked Basics (NEW FAVE!! Thank you, Click!!)

Urban Decay Naked (the original) (ALL TIME FAVE)

Urban Decay Naked 2 (ALL TIME FAVE)

Foundation and Finishing Powders

Ben Nye Neutral Set

MAKE UP FOR EVER HD Foundation (ALL TIME FAVE)

e.l.f. High Definition Powder

LIPSTICKS AND LIP GLOSSES!!!

Fresh Sugar Rose

Urban Decay Lipstick in “Jilted” (ALL TIME FAVE)

Sephora Lip Gloss Pencil 05

NYX Matte Lipstick in “Indie Flick”

Urban Decay Lip Gloss in “Guys Heart Betsey”

MAC Lustreglass in “Flashmode”

Sephora Collection Color Lip Last #12 “Royal Raspberry”

Revlon Colorburst Lip Butters in “Tutti Frutti,” “Peach Parfait” and “Cupcake”

Maybelline Vivids in “Fuchsia Flash”

Model Co Matte Lipstick in “Peony”

MAC Lip Glass in “Schemer”

OCC Lip Tar in “Queen”

Urban Decay Lip Gloss in “Naked”

Urban Decay XXX Shine Lip Gloss in “Heatherette”

Urban Decay Lipstick in “Naked”

MAC Lip Glass in “Hush, Hush Rose”

NARS Lip Gloss in “Super Orgasm”

MAC Lipsticks in “Honey Love,” “Russian Red” and “Rebel” (Russian Red is MY JAM! ALL TIME FAVE!!)

Urban Decay Revolution Lipstick in “69”

Clinique Almost Lipstick in “Black Honey” (OG ALL TIME FAVE)

CHAPSTICK

Eyes

Essence Gel Eyeliners in “Midnight in Paris” and “London Baby”

Urban Decay Moondust Eyeshadow in “Diamond Dog”

Stila Magnificent Metals in “Vintage Black Gold”

Urban Decay “Heist”

MAC “Trax” (ALL TIME FAVE)

NARS “Galapagos”

Sephora Collection “Aspen Summit”

Anastasia Brow Powder Duo in “Brunette/Dark Brown”

Lip and Eye Pencils

Cover Girl Perfect Blend Pencil in “Mink”

MAC Lip Pencil in “Burgundy”

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in “1999”

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil Duo in “Zero/Whisky” (ALL TIME FAVE)

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in “Flipside”

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in “Smoke”

Sephora Lip Pencil in “Pure Pinky”

MAC Lip Pencil in “Spice”

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Lip Pencil in “Wicked”

NARS Velvet Gloss Lip Pencil in “New Lover”

Urban Decay Super Saturated High Gloss Lip Color in “Crush”

Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner in “Intense Black”

Sephora Eye Pencil in “Pure White”

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in “Perversion”

Miscellaneous!

Double barreled pencil sharpener

Eyelash curler

Rubberband!!

Brushes

There are a ton of brushes in there, but I’m not going to run through them because I’ve already done that, in detail, HERE, HERE and HERE.

makeup bag finished

TA-DAA!! The finished product!

I’m super stoked because my new makeup bag has an inner zipper pouch, so I can throw all my lip and eye pencils in there and cut out the possibility of a loose lid coming off and smearing color all over everything. This is why I had to wipe EVERYTHING down before it went into the new bag, it was all spotted with liner! Makeup wise, there are few things more frustrating than doing your makeup without realizing you have greasy, black pencil all over your hands. You learn about that mess the hard way when you go to make a tiny adjustment with your finger, and put a black smudge on the center of your perfectly contoured and powdered nose.

These are my ride or die soldiers right HEAH. I use this stuff all the time, it all travels with me, I take the contents of this bag VERY SERIOUSLY. Some of it is always in there, some of it gets cycled out, but the list mostly stays the same. If anything, it just grows. I keep having to buy bigger and bigger bags. I imagine once I get my acrylic drawers, I’ll pare the bag down a little more. But, until then, ALL HAIL MY BAG OF TRICKS.

I hope this peek into my makeup bag is fun for you guys! If anyone has any questions about how I use any of this stuff, or if you want to see swatches of anything in particular, let me know!

Eyeshadow, Stila

Stila Magnificent Metals Foil Finish Eye Shadow in Vintage Black Gold

stila magnificent foils

Sephora, $32

A couple of weeks ago, on my way out of Sephora, I ran into these shadows. I had to go back to the counter because once I saw this color on my fingertips, there was no way I was leaving without it.

stila magnificent foils swatch

Soooo pretty…

stila magnificent metals shadow 2

Soooo hard to photograph….

This brilliant metallic cream shadow comes with a primer and a mixing tray to help you get the perfect foil lid. The color is buildable from a semi-sheer shimmer to a full on opaque foil. It’s easy to mix up, and application with fingertips is best. Admittedly, I can see how this product could be a little tricky for makeup newbies —I faced some difficulty getting my eyes blended evenly— but, practice makes perfect!

This particular color, Vintage Black Gold, is a smoky brown-gold that reflects crazy gold the more you build. I had no problems with fallout on my cheeks during application, and, most importantly, I had no problems with fallout into my contacts. That’s the WORST.

stila magnificent foils face

stila magnificent foils face 2

This eye look is all Vintage Black Gold on the lid, and under the eye. I used my fingertips to apply it to my lid, and a very thin brush to line under my eyes.

The $32 price tag is a little steep. I really can’t remember ever paying that much for a single shadow before, actually. But, this color and this finish together is kind of my dream. Jason was with me when I found it at Sephora, and he didn’t even protest a little bit about the price because, as soon as I touched the shadow, I started SHAKING WITH EXCITEMENT. Clearly, we were meant to be, me and Stila Magnificent Metals Foil Finish Eye Shadow in Vintage Black Gold. Our love is powerful.

A little bit of this shadow goes a long way, and I really like getting the primer and the little tray included, so the price wasn’t that painful. I think it’s worth it for how easy this product makes it to get this high-metallic foil look.

Buy it HERE.

MAC

Rihanna Hearts MAC Fall Presale!

Just a little FYI…

You can go buy any pieces you want from MAC’s Fall collaboration with Rihanna right now, and pick them up tomorrow when they officially go on sale! I went down to the MAC counter at the mall this morning, and did just that. I only ordered one lipstick, since nothing else really tickled my fancy. The eyeshadow quads look great, but I have similar colors in other brands, and I just can’t justify the purchase. Oh! If you really want RiRi Woo, this might be a good way to try and get it.

I was in such a hurry to get to the MAC counter, that I didn’t pay attention to where I parked, and then when I came back out to the parking lot, I couldn’t find my car! And then I couldn’t find my keys. And then I knew for sure that I had dropped my keys walking in, and some slick car thief took my car and now my precious Corolla was being broken down for parts.

For a second there, I was a weirdo wandering aimlessly through the mall parking lot though. Some old lady even eyed me suspiciously! But then, I found my keys in a little pocket inside a little pocket in my bag, and I found my car in another part of the parking lot. So, crisis averted! Well, more crisis averted. I was already in a crisis when I thought I got our car stolen.

Go get yer RiRi on! Pay attention to where you parked!

Blemish Control, Face, Skincare

Shower Scene

If this all sounds less cohesive than usual, it’s because I’m on the PMS/stress eating special, and that includes wine and drugs and cookies and In N Out cheeseburgers, so, WHEEEEE!!!

wine and cookie

MOMMY NEEDS HER MEDICINE.

Look at me!! I’m Hemingway!! Blah, blah, bullfights, blah, blah cats, blah blah Key West, blah blah blah big sweaters, blah blah blah blah I’m drunk and everyone loves me!

Anyways, I was just reading something on another site, and the author of the article casually mentioned her shower routine. It went like this: rinse, shampoo, wash face, wash body, conditioner. I don’t want to write one of those “the way you do this totally normal thing is wrong” pieces, but that’s wrong. I’m sorry. It’s wrong.

I was shocked by it, actually! It’s one of those things that I assume everyone knows.

Maybe I just have too much time on my hands, so I spend too much time thinking about dumb shit, but there’s a reason that shower order is wrong.

Conditioner.

Conditioner, your face bumps and YOU!

You guys see how this is wrong, right? Conditioner is creamy grease for your hair. If you’re washing your face prior to conditioning your hair, you’re just re-greasing your face. You’re greasing your face in a steamy, wet, warm room, so your skin is good and receptive to all those extra deep conditioners, oils, cremes, whatever.

You really should be washing and conditioning your hair prior to washing your face or your body. That way, all your polluted hair soap, and conditioner runoff will be cascading down your dirty, dirty bodies, instead of your already clean bodies and faces. So, like, my routine goes: get everything wet, wash and condition my hair, wash my body, detail my butt, THEN I wash my face. Last.

It’s a really small change that can make a big difference; especially if you have persistent bumps around your hairline, jaw and chin.

Ok. That’s it. I’m going to schedule this to go up in the morning and go back to my wine, drugs and cookies. You can’t have any wine until you finish all your drug cookies!

Meown.

Floss Gloss, Nails

Floss Gloss Nail Lacquer in Blood, Suede & Tears

floss gloss blood suede and tears

Blood, Suede & Tears, Floss Gloss, $8

I picked up Blood, Suede & Tears during Floss Gloss’ flash sale a few weeks ago. I’d been hovering around it since its release at the beginning of summer, so a sale gave me a good excuse to finally give in to DESIRE.

This polish originally debuted as part of their “Super 70s Summer Collection,” but I haven’t seen a color this 90s since, like, 1996.

It is SO 90s.

I know these things happen in cycles, so it was only a matter of time before brown cosmetics made their way back into my life. Next up, TINY MACRAME BACKPACK!!

When Blood, Suede & Tears showed up at my house, I was a little taken aback by exactly how BROWN it was. I was like, “Sarah. Are you ready for this? Can you handle this? You know this brown polish is just going to be a gateway to brown lipstick.”

I WON’T DO IT.

I do love this polish though. I LOVE this polish.

Like I said, in the bottle, it was so, so brown. On the nail, it was a warm, orangey, burgundy. It’s the color of chocolate syrup!! It’s warm and vampy, perfect for fall. 1994 me would have freaked out. She would have gone crazy for it, paired it with her brown lipstick, laced up her Docs, and gone back to talking to boys wearing flannels.

floss gloss blood suede and tears pic

Brown lipstick, check. Oversized henley shirt, check. Bad attitude, check.

I swear to you, I can still see a SEVENTEEN editorial from the 90s all about different shades of brown lipsticks and polishes that featured a color just like this. I remember it because I thought it looked so good. I wanted it for my back to school look!!

Allow me to demonstrate exactly how 90s this color is by juxtaposing it with a bunch of stuff from the 90s that still lives in my house:

floss gloss blood suede and tears kurt

Aww, cheer up, guy! It gets better!

floss gloss blood suede and tears collage

90S ART PROJECT

floss gloss blood suede and tears zines

ZINES, YOU GUYS. NOT PICTURED: The zine I used to make.

Do you know how hard I had to look for those zines? Not hard at all! They were just sitting on my desk! I don’t know why!

In conclusion, of course the grrrls at Floss Gloss would be the ones to turn me back to brown polish. They always seem to know what I want before I do. It’s weird. Some might say it’s….eerie. Indiana. Eerie, Indiana.

Get it?!

It’s a show from the 90s. How old are you!?

Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.

Buy Blood, Suede & Tears HERE.

A man duhh, Friday I'm in Love, Personal

Jason Cosper Review and Pics

fridayiminlove1

Can I talk about something unrelated to makeup? I can, right? You guys are cool with that? I knew you would be!

Man. You guys are awesome.

You know who else is awesome?

jason bunny

THIS GUY.

I’m 100% sure it was my idea for him to wear my bunny hat, and since he’s a good sport and a hilarious dude, here we are.

Jason is always up for the joke. More importantly, he’s up for my jokes.

And let me tell you, I have got JOKES.

We just got back from a trip to Santa Barbara for our three year anniversary, so I’ve been spending a lot of time with this guy. I’m happy to say, that after a week of nearly 24/7 contact, I still really like him.

It was touch and go there for a minute when we were arguing in the car on the drive, but then we got to the hotel, and forgot all about it. We’re good like that; we can recover from a fight almost instantly if you distract us. We’re not even really mad, we’re just dumb.

Dumb idiots in love.

Dumb idiot know-it-all smarty pants sarcastic depressives in love.

sarah and jason

How did I ever go those first 24 years without him? What did I do? Was I happy? Was I bored? It’s hard to remember now.

I bet I was so bored!

We’ve been together for almost 8 years now, and things haven’t been boring so far. Frustrating? Sometimes. Sexual? You know it! Boring? No way.

Well….

Maybe the Star Wars parts are boring. I prefer to talk about Indiana Jones or Planet of the Apes.

Cosper family

How did we get so lucky? How does anyone get so lucky?

I married the funniest, smartest dude I’ve ever met.

I’ve met a lot of funny ones.

A handful of smart ones.

Maybe three funny AND smart ones.

Only one Jason.

sarah and jason rings

GROSS.

We talk about everything, we fight about the things we need to fight about, we don’t stay mad for long, we hold hands in bed every night when we fall asleep. He encourages everything I ever want to do, he believes in me.

It was his idea to bring Rowdy home.

What would I do without him?

Oh, sick. I hate to even think about it.

In conclusion, since I will never stop being an angsty teen with a dark song in my heart, I’d like to leave you with a poem I wrote for him last year. He’s the only person who’s ever seen it. I really intended on keeping it that way, but I want to put it out there: I really love Jason Cosper.

A LOVE POEM FOR JASON

When we die,

I want my bones to be buried inside your bones.

My ribcage inside your ribcage

my spine locked together with yours

tibias, clavicles, teeth and fingers all mixed up.

It’s comforting to think about,

when I’m scaring myself with my own mortality,

this idea of us together.

It’s romantic to imagine,

when I’m paralyzed by fear.

Your bones guarding mine.

My bones touching yours.

Whatever happens next,

whether we see it or not,

I’d die knowing I’d be with you.

The earth above pressing us into each other.

Fusing us together.

Parted by death no more.

My bones inside your bones.

Be back from vacation soon!

Personal

Gone Fission

Birchbox

Birchbox Swap Party!!

A few days ago, I had a brilliant idea.

A brilliant idea that would combine four of my favorite things: new beauty products, my friend Erin, my friend Denys, and lunch.

BIRCHBOX SWAP PARTY!!!!

birchbox swap

DID I INVENT THIS?! I THINK I INVENTED THIS!

We all went through our Birchboxes for the last few months, gathered up the samples we didn’t use or didn’t like, and met for lunch! Then, we dumped everything out and started swapping! It was so fun to see the things they got in their Birchboxes! It was SO FUN to pick new samples! It was so fun to talk to Denys into keeping her red lipstick!

My Cuban sandwich gave me a stomach ache.

But, my Birchbox swap idea gave me a great big head! Because my friends loved it!

So now, I have a bunch of new samples to try, and a standing date with my friends to swap smooches and products.

birchbox swap haul

I’m smelly and into sun protection.

If you and your friends get Birchbox subscriptions, I really recommend you start your own chapter of the Birchbox Lunch Bunch. If you don’t get Birchbox, you should!

I think next time I’m going to make us all wear fancy red hats. The good ideas just keep coming!

Get your own Birchbox subscription HERE.

Birchbox, Lips, Nails

Birchbox September 2013, Review and Pics

birchbox 9:13

Damn you, Birchbox.

After my first box was whatever, and that was followed by a box that was way late, I was ready to be mad. I had a strong thirst for haterade, and I was all set to chug it.

But I keep getting great boxes!!

This month’s box is the third box in a row that has been pretty spot on. I’ll use everything in it, and I’m actually going to BUY a full sized product this month! That’s never happened before!

Let’s get to it. From left to right….

Serge Normant Meta Luxe Hair Spray

What they said: Airy mist that keeps your ‘do smooth and frizz free, and also shields strands from UV rays.

What I say: I haven’t used this yet! I don’t really have a lot of use for hairspray in my day to day life. I do like to keep my travel toiletries bag stocked with travel size products, that way I only have to throw in the extra stuff I’m bringing, so I’m going to add this hairspray to that bag. It smells really, really good. That’s nice. I have one travel size hairspray that, I’m telling you, it smells like dead bodies. I’m going to chuck that one and add this one.

Ruffian Nail Lacquer – Delirium

What they said: Bold purple from the fashion label’s first lacquer collection.

What I say: WHOA THIS POLISH IS NICE.

birchbox 9:13 ruffian polish

It is surely a bold purple, and I swear I’m picking up some shifting dark blue in there. The checkout lady at the grocery store said to me, “That’s a beautiful cobalt blue polish you have on!” And I was like, thanks. For whatever reason, I always find myself arguing with people over what is and isn’t purple. So, I just let this one go. It does look pretty blue indoors.

The Ruffian bottle is pretty, and the handle on the brush made application super easy! The formula of their polish is really luxe. Deeply pigmented, beautifully self leveling, and flowing from the brush; I only really needed one coat. I did two just because I always do. Gorgeous.

Grand Central Beauty S.M.A.R.T. Skin Perfecting Polisher

What they said: This multitasker made with natural botanical exfoliates, tones, smoothes, and moisturizes.

What I say: UMMM. FUN!!! This stuff is fun! You massage a little bit onto your face, and all this crud comes off! Little beads in the gel scrub everything up and lift it away. The bottle says rinsing is optional, so I didn’t rinse to see what would happen. Everything worked out great! My skin was soft, smooth and bright. My little bottle had some weird pink stuff all over it, and it was only about half full, but it was still cool.

Dr. Lipp Original Nipple Balm for Lips

What they said: Originally made for nursing moms, this ultra hydrating balm is a makeup artist fave.

What I say: I’m buying this!! It nailed my chapped lips and my scratchy cuticles in one fell swoop. A little bead of balm was all it took to take care of everything. LOVE IT. BUYING IT. WANT IT AT MY HOUSE. THE LIPS ARE THE NIPPLES OF THE FACE.

Keratherapy Deep Conditioning Masque

What they said: Right any number of hair sins with this intensely restorative, keratin infused masque.

What I say: I haven’t used this yet. It came in while I had my head shellacked in a coconut scented disaster, and I was feeling a little deep conditioned out. I’ll get to it soon. I always think my hair is too dry.

So, I guess at this point, I can really say I’m enjoying my Birchbox subscription. If the boxes keep coming like this, I’ll be happy. And still no perfume samples! I hate perfume samples.

Get your own Birchbox subscription HERE.

Hair, Kitchen Sink Beauty, Moisturizer

Coconut Oil Hair Mask: The Results Show

I know you’ve all been anxiously waiting to hear the outcome of my coconut oil experiment; and we’ll get to that, but first, let’s take a look back on the road to the finale…

There was that time I followed a random idea that floated through my head and told you guys about it,

“I’ve got coconut oil, a hotel shower cap, very dry ends, a mildly ambitious attitude, and last night’s Project Runway.

I’m going to get to the bottom of this coconut oil as hair mask situation for myself. Plus, this is going to be a good way to force myself into taking a shower.”

Then, I played with my phone, watched television and posted pictures on Facebook:

coconut oil mask

Finally, I left us with the million dollar question….

“Is my hair wet? Is my hair greasy?”

NOBODY KNEW.

And that about brings us up to speed.

The answer?

I was SO greasy, buddy!

pauly shore gif

In a bad way. Not in a Pauly Shore way. Which is a GREAT way.

This just didn’t work out great for me. Some weird stuff did happen though, so I’ll share.

I think the idea to try this out popped into my head because my hair has been through a lot lately. I’ve been swimming a lot, and I have the suspicion that my Suave coconut conditioner is not up to the task of taking care of that sun and chlorine damage. My hair was feeling pretty dry and poofy. My hair is never poofy. But, you could gather it up in a ponytail, and it was like a big clump at the end. GROSS.

At first, I was super stoked about the way the oil was feeling, because it seemed like my hair was really sucking it up. I’d add more, and it would be gone. All in all, I probably used a little over a 1/4 cup of oil in my hair. Is that too much? In retrospect, it seems like a lot. I have a lot of hair though, so maybe it isn’t? I massaged the oil into my scalp, and all down the entire length of my hair, being really generous at the ends. After my head felt saturated, I pulled it up into a shower cap, and waited for about an hour and a half.

As soon as I started trying to wash out the oil in the shower, I knew I had made a mistake. It was pretty readily apparent that my cleansing conditioner was going to struggle with removing the oil. And, whoa, struggle it did. After a little while, there didn’t seem to be any more I could do, so I got out, hoping that meant the oil that was left was there because my hair wanted it. NOPE! The oil that was left was there because I couldn’t wash it. There was a lot of it. Everything from my ears down was slick with oil. It was weird though because it didn’t feel heavy, or even really sticky greasy. You could easily run your fingers through my hair, and it was light. It was greasy though; all piecey and slick. It was strange. I’d never really felt and oiliness like that.

Instead of getting back in the shower, I braided my hair into milkmaid braids and pinned them up. I was still optimistic that, in the end, everything would work out. Now it was like I was having a long term moisture treatment on my hair! How luxurious! I left it like that for about a day, and then I tried again to wash it out.

This time, I used shampoo.

Here’s where another weird thing happened! The second the shampoo went onto my hair, everything tangled up! It was fucking bizarre! It felt like my hair completely flipped from a slick, over greasy, stick straight mess to a rough, tangled, tumbleweed mess. Scrubbing was a nightmare, everything pulled and hurt. Conditioner barely helped. It was a disaster!

And don’t even get me started on the death trap that was my shower floor while all this was happening.

I dried my hair and I was unimpressed. My hair was shinier and softer, but not soft or shiny enough to make it worth all the mess. You can get faster results from a regular deep conditioner.

If you still want to try it, go for it. As usual, your results will vary. Tread very carefully if you have thin or fine hair, and maybe don’t do it if you have somewhere to be in the same day.

So, there you have it. More bullshit that doesn’t work as well as I’d hoped!