I was just looking around craigslist for a wall mounted acrylic nail polish rack when I happened upon this mess. Someone is trying to sell their old ass pile of drugstore makeup for $50. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! GURL PLZ. Nobody wants to buy those teddy bear bottles of nail polish from you. Just throw it away.
Hey. I get it! We’ve all been there! I have to do a makeup purge at least once a year or things get really out of hand. We’ve all dreamed of getting our money back for these piles of barely or never used cosmetics, but that shit ain’t happening. Give the unopened stuff to friends, dump the rest.
We know I’m FLOSS GLOSS obsessed, right? Like, I embarrass myself on Twitter all the time gushing about the colors, and bothering Janine and Aretha for preorder information and whatnot. I can’t help it! They keep making my dream colors! What the fuck else am I supposed to do? Play it cool? HELL NAW.
WAVEPOOL is a color from the last order I received. I’m a total sucker for creamy aqua blues, I have tons of them. But this color was really different in its warm baby blue vibrancy, and its apparent lack of green.
You know how when you look at the pool on a really sunny day, and the bottom looks so perfect and blue and retina searing and you just want to swim down into the center of it? That’s the color of this polish. It is flat out deep end-beers on a raft-“watch my dive!” awesome. All it needs are some blinding sunlight sparkles bouncing off of it, and the smell of sunblock.
Their formula worked great for this color. It was opaque in two coats, and it dried matte. One coat of my top coat, and I was good to go.
Summer is going to be over soon, but there’s still lots of time to grab WAVEPOOL and play twinsies with your swimming pool. And hey, if you’re looking forward to next season, you can preorder their Fall line now.
P.S. I just found out that not everyone knows the importance of using a base coat. Always use a base coat on your fingers. Your manicure will last longer, and your nails won’t get stained.
Since everyone is already getting their August Birchboxes, I’m going to do a quick review of July’s box.
July’s box didn’t start off great. After I got my shipping notice, the tracking info never updated and the box never showed up. I emailed Birchbox and they said a new one would be sent out to me, and I’d have it within 10 days. 10 days later, I sent another email asking why I still hadn’t received my box. They assured me it was coming. Sure enough, the next day, day 11, it was in my mailbox.
I got a notice that my August box had shipped before I even got my July box!
It’s too bad this month’s box was so late, since what was inside was pretty good.
L-R:
ModelCo Party Proof Matte Lipstick in Peony
What they said: Long lasting, nondrying pigment that won’t come off on your drink (or significant other).
What I say: No fucking way is this matte OR party proof. The color applies beautifully, smooth and creamy, but it comes right off just like any other lipstick. I waited around for it to turn matte, party proof, or something, but it never did. It absolutely left lipstick all over my drinks and my dude. I blotted it down, and that was helpful in keeping the color on my lips, but it was still transferring color. If they hadn’t claimed this lipstick was long wearing like that, I would have been totally happy with it. The dark hot pink color is really pretty, and I like the hydration you get. But, I don’t like being told something about a product that is 100% not true. Plus, my lipstick was broken at the base, so it’s moving around inside the tube a little. I don’t think the heat was very kind to it during shipping.
Marcelle BB Cream Golden Glow
What they said: True complexion illuminator with golden light reflecting pigments, the BB Cream Gold boosts radiance instantly and gives your skin a multitude of skincare benefits.
What I say: Loved it! I was shocked because my skin is notoriously hard to match, but the Marcelle BB Cream Gold blended right in, and made my skin look great. It wasn’t heavy, it evened out my tone, didn’t dry me out, and the golden sheen gave me a really pretty glow. I would really maybe buy this one! I don’t actually wear makeup out to run errands that much, but I’m going to use this little bottle and see how I like it. The moisturizing/correcting combo is pretty enticing.
Benta Berry G-1 Moisturizing Face Cream
What they said: A French best seller, this cream both hydrates and purifies, thanks to blueberry and dead nettle.
What I say: I liked this too! I’ve become pretty oily in my old age, which is totally fine. Oilier skin doesn’t wrinkle as fast! Buuuuuut, I do sometimes feel like I’m just melting off my makeup. This face cream claims to be mattifying. That was a little bit worrisome to me, since mattifying can often translate into drying. When I tried it out though, my concerns were unfounded. Since I’m usually extremely oily when I wake up, I put it on before bed one night, and when I woke up in the morning, my grease had been significantly decreased. My skin felt fine, not dry or gross. I wouldn’t use it all the time, since I don’t really mind my oils all that much, but it would be good for days when you really need a matte surface to lay down your face. Special events and stuff. Like I said, my skin felt fine. I liked it better on its own though. Also, this is the “SUITS” pick, as in that show on USA. So, that’s hilarious. Please call in “Burn Notice” next. I want Bruce Campbell picking out my lipsticks.
Color Club Collection Nail Polish in Put a Pin In It
What they said: This custom rose gold brightens andy summer ensemble – and looks great with a tan.
What they said: We designed these patterned pins to add style to summer hair with minimal effort.
What I say: They’re barrettes. They’re cute, I guess. They’re really hard to get open, and they hurt to take out. I will probably hardly ever, if ever, wear them.
Overall, this was a pretty good box. I’m going to use most of the stuff that came in it, and the samples were really decent sized. The wait was aggravating, so I can’t give it a completely great review this month. But, it’s better than last month, and I really feel like I got my $10 worth out of this box.
I have a sort of complicated relationship with The Beauty Department. Some of their stuff makes me roll my eyes, some of their stuff makes me scramble for my brushes and a reason to do fancy makeup. Like this “RED CARPET BREAKDOWN” of Rachel Bilson’s look at the premiere of “The To-Do List” has got me wishing we weren’t broke right now, so I could get dressed up and go out.
Still use it. There’s one on my nightstand right now.
OHMYGODICANSMELLIT.
Kept it in my backpack! Took it to school! Reapplied between classes! Gross!
This turned my scalp into a giant scab. But, I kept using it to smell like I fit in.
“Excellent…”
Isn’t it great?!?! Are you roughly my age and can smell and taste nearly EVERYTHING they post?! What’s that about?! Pretty cool/sick, right?! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Doesn’t make me feel weird or uncomfortable or transported back to high school or anything! Hormones sure were crazy, huh?! Nope. I’m not sick to my stomach/horny at all right now! And that is definitely not how I could sum up my entire teenage experience! Hahaha! What are we talking about??
I’m going to put on some Mazzy Star and lie down. Maybe do some positive affirmations….
I am 31….I do not have algebra today….I have a permanent boyfriend….nobody really does 3-way calling anymore….
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA?! Am I supposed to be impressed by that? All across the top there? Because I used to live right in Hollywood, and I know for a fact it smells like pee there. Pee and booby glitter. That’s what Hollywood smells like.
Now, there’s a real possibility they mean “HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA.” That’s the one they show on TV with the sign, and the sun, and the palm trees, and the movie stars. That place exists, but it smells like pee too. There’s no way around it!
Anyways!!!
Since I brought GlamGlow home, I’ve been walking around singing “Just let your GlamGlow/just let it shine through/just let your GlaaaaaAAAAaaaamGlow, baby/feelin’ oh so silky smooth”
It still works, right? As the jingle for a face mask? I think so.
There has been a ton of hype around these masks, and I was eager to find out if it was true. I’ve tried a lot of masks in my day, so I’m hard to impress. I go into most mask experiences not expecting too much. Although most of the GlamGlow reviews are positive, I did see a few that accused all the positive reviewers of being sheep who weren’t willing to admit that GlamGlow sucks. That seemed a little harsh to me. It’s cool if you don’t like the product, but don’t be a dick about it, right? I’m all for integrity in the beauty review game, but damn. Take it down a notch there, you big rebel.
I promise you I went into this more than ready to pan GlamGlow if I felt it was necessary.
Well, baaa baaa motherfuckers. I guess I’m just one more mindless sheep, because I really liked this mask a lot.
It looks and feels like most mud masks do, thick, cool and heavy. First, you stir it up to liquify it a little, then, you smooth it onto your face. I did struggle a little with the bits of green tea leaves that were in the mask, because some of the bigger chunks were hard to stick down. I got it all plastered on though, so it wasn’t really a problem in the end. Other than that, it went on just like any other mud mask.
Then, the tingling started. It really walked the line between “tingling” and “burning.” But, right as I was like, “Ummm,” it calmed down, and didn’t bother me anymore.
After 10 minutes, the mask had dried very hard, and it was time to wash it off.
This particular GlamGlow mask has volcanic pumice in it, so when you rinse, it gets gritty, and you’re supposed to remove the mask in circular motions to exfoliate. I thought it was interesting that the “exfoliating” aspect was a good old mechanical exfoliant (washcloth, sugars, beads, etc.) as opposed to a chemical exfoliant, like an acid or an enzyme. I don’t know. It’s minimal work, but it seems like too much work for something that’s supposed to be a miracle product. Not that I think the pumice is bad, I don’t. It was just surprising because I think people want products to do all the work for them. And sometimes, you have to use your fingers, and exfoliate your cheeks your damn self. You’ll appreciate it more!
In the end, I was very happy with the results. I even said, “WOW!” to myself in the mirror. The French clay sucked out impurities and toxins, clearing up some dirty nose pores and deflating some questionable looking bumps, while the pumice sloughed away dullness and built up dead skin cells. I don’t know what the tea leaves did. Looked fancy? Got stuck in my drain? Yes and yes.
Here’s the thing. Right now, I’m pretty happy with my skin. I’m able to wear minimal makeup, and everything is very clear and smooth. I didn’t think I’d see much of a difference, but I was very wrong. My skin looked a lot more even, and it really was, well, radiant. It was even better the next morning! The first thing I did when I woke up was touch my own cheek. The second thing I did when I woke up, was wake Jason up and make him touch my cheek. We both agreed that my skin was extremely soft. We were like, “What is that, velvet?!?” Then, we both agreed that I was extremely beautiful and that I would never get old, and that I would always have skin like this. After that, we agreed on Honey Bunches of Oats for breakfast.
Ultimately, I recommend this product. If you have very sensitive skin, be wary of the tingling, and exfoliating. Either one of those elements in an unknown product can really irritate your tender little baby face, and GlamGlow Tingling & Exfoliating has both, one right after the other. Smear with caution.
If the price tag is a sticking point, go to Sephora and get a sample. Try it out a couple times, do the math, see if this mask at home vs. spa facials is worth it for you. They say you can use it twice a week, or as often as you like, but I would only go with once a week. Once a week is plenty for a mask this intensive. Especially if you keep on top of your skincare.
A lot of companies encourage overuse to get you to use more product than you need, so you run out faster and have to buy more. (HELLO, TOOTHPASTE COMPANIES! NOBODY NEEDS THAT MUCH TOOTHPASTE. And rinse and repeat with shampoo? Come on. That’s shameless.) I’m really, really not saying GlamGlow is doing this, I’m just saying start small.
Now, you can be all the things you always wanted to be…beautiful…sexy…
The Baberaham Lincolns at Floss Gloss leaked their Fall 2013, ‘Princess of the Night’ collection, and it is THA DOPENESS.
ALL I WANT IS DOPENESS.
“‘MOON BABY’ – An icy, yet dusty, baby- blue creme”
“‘DINGE’ – a bad girl nude with a touch of pink and of course dinginess”
**I’ve been looking for a nude this color for YEARS**
“‘BLACK HOLY’ – glossy black”
“‘FADED’ – inspired by faded tattoo ink”
**SUPER excited for this color too!!**
What do you guys think? I’m so into it, last night, I was sitting in bed, quietly putting the lotion on the skin, and Jason says, “What are you thinking about? You look like you’ve got something on your mind?” And I was like, “I’m just thinking about the Floss Gloss Fall line. I’m planning out my color combinations for my fingers and toes. I’ve got it all figured out.”
I’m going “DINGE” on my fingers and “FADED” on my toes first.
I really can’t wait. I’m stalking around all their socialmediapages waiting for the preorder to drop. I haven’t been this into an entire nail collection since “Thakoon for Nars” Summer 2012, and I look at A LOT of nail polish.
I totally used this lipstick before I took product photos. I was just so excited!
I don’t buy a lot of drugstore lipsticks. But, for the sake of diversity, and my bank account, I’ve come around. So far, I’ve been pretty pleasantly surprised! This lipstick by Maybelline is so great, it gained entrance into the back pocket of my purse alongside my Givenchy lip gloss. Which means I like it so much, I’m willing to carry it around with me all the time. It also means I loved the color so much, I want to have it available as an option at any time. Yes, sometimes I leave the house without finishing my face. But that’s because I know I have a wide array of lip colors in my bag. Really, all the best stuff is in there.
Maybelline Color Sensational Vivids in Fuchsia Flash is an electric, bright fuchsia with blue undertones. It goes on creamy, glossy, and even with great coverage. The creamy texture does mean you’ll be able to see some lines if you press your lips together, but it isn’t noticeable, and it’s easy to even out. The glossy finish wears down to a satiny finish over a couple hours of wear. It’s not going to stick around through eating and drinking, but that’s ok. I don’t always need that. You do get quite a bit of hydration from the formula which is a great trade off for it not being super long wearing. If you’re not eating and drinking, you’ll get about 4 hours of wear out of an application.
The neon color is crazy on trend for summer 2013, so if you don’t see yourself as the kind of person who will keep on wearing an electric magenta lipstick forever, this is a great option. I AM the kind of person who will wear an electric magenta lipstick forever, so the killer price has got me excited. Another great thing about this particular color is that it’s a nearly dead on dupe for MAC’s Candy Yum Yum. The finish on the MAC color is matte. That’s pretty much the only difference. You could blot down this Maybelline color easily to get the same look without the drying effect you’ll often get from a matte lipstick.
My hair looks long!! Bonus!
One of the best things about bright lip colors like this, is you can leave the rest of your face pretty bare, and you still have a finished look. It’s awesome. Mascara, blush, lipstick, BAM! Out the door looking SUPA FLY.
I just found a $2 off any Maybelline lip product coupon in a magazine, so I’m going to go snap up another one of these. It’s a good thing they only have the one blue based bright fuchsia. I just can’t seem to stop myself.
One of the best things about having this site is getting to see the summaries of search engine terms that bring people to the Lab Bunny every day. In this grab bag of internet psyche, some of the searches are hilarious, some are disturbing, and some are actually decent. I thought I’d do some little quickie answers to help with these UNSOLVED SEARCH HYSTERIES!!
“is Trader Joe’s body butter good for face?”
I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Body lotions and face lotions have different ingredients and different properties. Even an all natural body lotion is probably going to be much heavier than anything you’d want to use on your face, and they probably aren’t non-comedogenic, so they’ll maybe block your pores. You only want to put lotions on your face that are non-comedogenic and, preferably, made specifically for faces.
“how to UD eyeshadow no glitter fallout”
Those UD glitter eyeshadows are pretty notorious for their fallout. I getcha. They’ve worked to improve their formulas over the years, and I’ve found the fallout issue has improved, too. Improved does not equal no fallout though. These are the best things you can do to minimize glitter fallout from any brand of shadow: 1. If you’re doing a heavy glitter or dark shadow look that you know to be prone to fallout, do your eyes before doing your foundation, powder etc. It’s easier to clean up any mess that way, and you don’t have to redo anything that got smudged, or you had to wipe off. 2. Use a primer, or an epoxy. If you can, instead of layering different shadows underneath, apply the glitter shadow directly to your primered lid. 3. Use a flatter brush to press the glitter shadow onto your eye instead of brushing or swiping. You deposit more glitter that way, and you’re able to concentrate color with less distribution onto your cheeks and around your eyes. 4. Hold a folded tissue under your eye, against your cheek, to catch anything that drops. This works under your bottom lashes too to keep mascara from getting where it shouldn’t. 5. Setting spray.
“boringporno.com”
Sounds great. Good luck with that. Sorry I couldn’t help. Or, maybe I did. Since there aren’t any people f’ing on this site, this would make some pretty boring porno. So, I’m sorry. Or, you’re welcome.
Unsolved Hysteries: SOLVED. Keep the search engine terms coming, weirdos.
I remember the first time a set of bangs really hit me. I was in the 8th grade on a school trip to Sacramento, hanging out in some music/head/sticker shop, when I saw her….
OUR LADY OF PERPETUAL BANGS
A cardboard cutout of Bettie Page sitting next to the register, wearing a sign about punishing shoplifters around her neck, was a shock to my system. It was love at first sight! It wasn’t just the hair, obviously, she’s an icon for a reason. But, her hair is iconic for a reason too.
I left Sacramento a changed woman.
Two years later, when I was 15, I cut my hair like Uma’s in Pulp Fiction, and I kept the bangs until I was 29. Then, I decided I needed to take a break and try life without bangs for a little while. I grew my bangs out, and then grew out the rest of my hair until everything was nearly to my waist. It was like hitting reset on my head!
I didn’t realize how much of my daily routine was centered around making sure my bangs weren’t messed up. I mean, the way I sleep on my pillow, STILL, just out of the force of nearly 15 years of habit, was at the angle least likely to cause crazy morning bangs. So, life without bangs was pretty easy. I didn’t have to really do anything to my hair anymore. I could just let it air dry, and 9 times out of 10, it would look good.
But then, I started getting really bored. I felt like my hair always looked so blah. I’d see some good bangs on TV, and I’d get wistful.
We both have big crushes on The B in Apt. 23. LOOK AT HER! Those eyes, those lips, THOSE BANGS!
Please be our girlfriend, The B. We’ll treat you right.
So….EXPERIMENT OVER!
BOUT DAT BANGS LYFE
I went in on Friday afternoon determined to make a change. Besides the bangs, we lighened up my hair quite a bit, and threw in some different tones all over. I NEVER do stuff like that. I like to keep my hair pretty much one color, and that color is, “VERY DARK.” Like, seriously, do not come near me with foils. But, I went for it anyways because what the fuck, right? If we never try new things, we have no way to know if we like them. When it comes to your hair, you just have to jump sometimes!
We even did my hair with my back to the mirror like on “What Not to Wear,” so it would be really extra scary when it was time to turn around! I’m terrible at hiding my true emotions, and there was a very real chance I’d burst into tears if I saw my reflection and thought I’d made a terrible decision. When I saw that old familiar fringe peeking at me from above my eyes, I was like, “Oh shit,” so I was worried.
My friend dusted the little pieces of hair off my face, took off the cape, spun me around, and then we both lost our minds because it looked AMAZING! I didn’t cry!
I *did* startle the hell out of myself the next morning in the mirror though.
Since I could not stay away from bangs for long, I gave us a cool new couples nickname.
I’m The Bangs.
This is The Beard.
The Beard and The Baby
The Bangs & The Beard.
I’m pretty happy with my hair now. I love the color, and it’s nice to have my bangs again. But, we’ll see. I’m nothing if not finicky! The last time I cut bangs I kept them for half my life; but now, I’m not scared to grow them out because I know it isn’t that bad. See! I never would have known that if I hand’t stepped outside my comfort zone and grown them out in the first place!
Full fledged Bangs Sisterhood enrollment is back in effect! I’m a card carrying, lifetime member.
