Beauty Tools, General, Personal

That’s my bag, baby!

Check it out, guys! Austin Powers joke! BA-BAM! COMEDY.

So, Jason got me a new makeup bag for my birthday, and I’m doing the big swap/clean right now. I thought I’d run down a list of the things I always have in my makeup bag for you guys. It’s going to be a long list.

makeup bag

I’m doing this on the couch while I watch CONAN. 

Let’s start on the left, and work our way up.

Blushes and Bronzers

MAC Sheertone Blush in “Peaches”

Urban Decay Baked Bronzer in “Gilded”

NARS Blush in “Super Orgasm” (ALL TIME FAVE)

MAC Creme Bronzer in “Beach Bronze”

MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in “Give Me Sun”

MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in “Redhead”


Benefit “They’re Real”

Benefit “Bad Gal Plum”

Concealers, Highlighters and Primers

Benefit “High Beam”

Marcelle BB Cream in “Golden Glow”

Benefit “Watt’s Up”

NARS  Pore-Prime Pore Refining Primer

MAC Select Cover-Up in NW20

Tarte Clean Slate Face Primer

MAC Lustre Drops in “Sun Rush”

MAC Select Moisture Cover in NC20

Urban Decay Lip Primer Potion

Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion in “Eden” (ALL TIME FAVE)

Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion

Eyeshadow Palettes

Urban Decay Naked Basics (NEW FAVE!! Thank you, Click!!)

Urban Decay Naked (the original) (ALL TIME FAVE)

Urban Decay Naked 2 (ALL TIME FAVE)

Foundation and Finishing Powders

Ben Nye Neutral Set


e.l.f. High Definition Powder


Fresh Sugar Rose

Urban Decay Lipstick in “Jilted” (ALL TIME FAVE)

Sephora Lip Gloss Pencil 05

NYX Matte Lipstick in “Indie Flick”

Urban Decay Lip Gloss in “Guys Heart Betsey”

MAC Lustreglass in “Flashmode”

Sephora Collection Color Lip Last #12 “Royal Raspberry”

Revlon Colorburst Lip Butters in “Tutti Frutti,” “Peach Parfait” and “Cupcake”

Maybelline Vivids in “Fuchsia Flash”

Model Co Matte Lipstick in “Peony”

MAC Lip Glass in “Schemer”

OCC Lip Tar in “Queen”

Urban Decay Lip Gloss in “Naked”

Urban Decay XXX Shine Lip Gloss in “Heatherette”

Urban Decay Lipstick in “Naked”

MAC Lip Glass in “Hush, Hush Rose”

NARS Lip Gloss in “Super Orgasm”

MAC Lipsticks in “Honey Love,” “Russian Red” and “Rebel” (Russian Red is MY JAM! ALL TIME FAVE!!)

Urban Decay Revolution Lipstick in “69”

Clinique Almost Lipstick in “Black Honey” (OG ALL TIME FAVE)



Essence Gel Eyeliners in “Midnight in Paris” and “London Baby”

Urban Decay Moondust Eyeshadow in “Diamond Dog”

Stila Magnificent Metals in “Vintage Black Gold”

Urban Decay “Heist”


NARS “Galapagos”

Sephora Collection “Aspen Summit”

Anastasia Brow Powder Duo in “Brunette/Dark Brown”

Lip and Eye Pencils

Cover Girl Perfect Blend Pencil in “Mink”

MAC Lip Pencil in “Burgundy”

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in “1999”

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil Duo in “Zero/Whisky” (ALL TIME FAVE)

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in “Flipside”

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in “Smoke”

Sephora Lip Pencil in “Pure Pinky”

MAC Lip Pencil in “Spice”

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Lip Pencil in “Wicked”

NARS Velvet Gloss Lip Pencil in “New Lover”

Urban Decay Super Saturated High Gloss Lip Color in “Crush”

Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner in “Intense Black”

Sephora Eye Pencil in “Pure White”

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in “Perversion”


Double barreled pencil sharpener

Eyelash curler



There are a ton of brushes in there, but I’m not going to run through them because I’ve already done that, in detail, HERE, HERE and HERE.


makeup bag finished

TA-DAA!! The finished product!

I’m super stoked because my new makeup bag has an inner zipper pouch, so I can throw all my lip and eye pencils in there and cut out the possibility of a loose lid coming off and smearing color all over everything. This is why I had to wipe EVERYTHING down before it went into the new bag, it was all spotted with liner! Makeup wise, there are few things more frustrating than doing your makeup without realizing you have greasy, black pencil all over your hands. You learn about that mess the hard way when you go to make a tiny adjustment with your finger, and put a black smudge on the center of your perfectly contoured and powdered nose.

These are my ride or die soldiers right HEAH. I use this stuff all the time, it all travels with me, I take the contents of this bag VERY SERIOUSLY. Some of it is always in there, some of it gets cycled out, but the list mostly stays the same. If anything, it just grows. I keep having to buy bigger and bigger bags. I imagine once I get my acrylic drawers, I’ll pare the bag down a little more. But, until then, ALL HAIL MY BAG OF TRICKS.

I hope this peek into my makeup bag is fun for you guys! If anyone has any questions about how I use any of this stuff, or if you want to see swatches of anything in particular, let me know!

A man duhh, Friday I'm in Love, Personal

Jason Cosper Review and Pics



Can I talk about something unrelated to makeup? I can, right? You guys are cool with that? I knew you would be!

Man. You guys are awesome.

You know who else is awesome?

jason bunny


I’m 100% sure it was my idea for him to wear my bunny hat, and since he’s a good sport and a hilarious dude, here we are.

Jason is always up for the joke. More importantly, he’s up for my jokes.

And let me tell you, I have got JOKES.

We just got back from a trip to Santa Barbara for our three year anniversary, so I’ve been spending a lot of time with this guy. I’m happy to say, that after a week of nearly 24/7 contact, I still really like him.

It was touch and go there for a minute when we were arguing in the car on the drive, but then we got to the hotel, and forgot all about it. We’re good like that; we can recover from a fight almost instantly if you distract us. We’re not even really mad, we’re just dumb.

Dumb idiots in love.

Dumb idiot know-it-all smarty pants sarcastic depressives in love.

sarah and jason

How did I ever go those first 24 years without him? What did I do? Was I happy?  Was I bored? It’s hard to remember now.

I bet I was so bored!

We’ve been together for almost 8 years now, and things haven’t been boring so far. Frustrating? Sometimes. Sexual? You know it! Boring? No way.


Maybe the Star Wars parts are boring. I prefer to talk about Indiana Jones or Planet of the Apes.

Cosper family

How did we get so lucky? How does anyone get so lucky?

I married the funniest, smartest dude I’ve ever met.

I’ve met a lot of funny ones.

A handful of smart ones.

Maybe three funny AND smart ones.

Only one Jason.

sarah and jason rings


We talk about everything, we fight about the things we need to fight about, we don’t stay mad for long, we hold hands in bed every night when we fall asleep. He encourages everything I ever want to do, he believes in me.

It was his idea to bring Rowdy home.

What would I do without him?

Oh, sick. I hate to even think about it.

In conclusion, since I will never stop being an angsty teen with a dark song in my heart, I’d like to leave you with a poem I wrote for him last year. He’s the only person who’s ever seen it. I really intended on keeping it that way, but I want to put it out there: I really love Jason Cosper.


When we die,

I want my bones to be buried inside your bones.

My ribcage inside your ribcage

my spine locked together with yours

tibias, clavicles, teeth and fingers all mixed up.

It’s comforting to think about,

when I’m scaring myself with my own mortality,

this idea of us together.

It’s romantic to imagine,

when I’m paralyzed by fear.

Your bones guarding mine.

My bones touching yours.

Whatever happens next,

whether we see it or not,

I’d die knowing I’d be with you.

The earth above pressing us into each other.

Fusing us together.

Parted by death no more.

My bones inside your bones.



Be back from vacation soon!


Gone Fission

Eyeshadow, Face, Floss Gloss, Lips, Personal, Sephora Collection, Smashbox

Birthday List

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve tried to become the kind of person who can just be cool about their birthday; or, one of those people who can at least pretend to be cool about their birthday. It won’t take. I can’t be an, “Oh. It was my birthday last week, I just didn’t say anything. I don’t like to make a big deal,” person. It’s just not in me. I’m sorry, everyone. We’re just going to have to keep eating cake.

Except this year, we’re having pie. Because crust.

Look, I used to make my birthday lists in August. My birthday is less than a month away (Oct. 5th, if you’re curious. LIBRA LADIES REPRESENT.), so I think this is appropriate. As appropriate as a 31 year old woman with a public birthday wish list can be anyways. And this isn’t even everything! This is the stuff I’m super obsessed with right now! PERSONAL GROWTH.

Floss Gloss Nail Lacquers in STUN & DIMEPIECE

fg stun


fg dimepiece


Every time I buy polish from Floss Gloss, I hover over these two glitters. I can never make up my mind, so I just end up without either one of them. Isn’t that a sad story?

I want one of these sexy stickers too.

fg skripper


This sticker would give my laptop a little bit of, how you say, je ne sais ass and titties. It’s subtle, but I think it will work.

Smashbox The Master Class Palette II

smashbox mc2I wanted the original Master Class Palette, but I waited too long, and I didn’t get it. Another sad story! Lucky for all of us Smashbox released their Master Class Palette II! I want to put this into my makeup bag and never let it leave. It will travel everywhere with me! It’ll see the world! Won’t someone PLEASE give this poor palette a chance to make something of itself!?

 Han Cholo – Loco Skull Ring in Brass Plated Gold, in 9

han cholo ring

‘AY. How cool is this ring?! Too fucking cool, right? It would look pretty great on my hands, and it would let everyone know what’s up. Namely, that I’m way, way loco. I take pills for it, but science can only go so far. People think Jason is the one to look out for, because he’s 6’5, and his fists look like hams; but you really gotta watch out for me. While you’re all distracted by Jason way up there, I’ll come in under your eye line and CUT CHU, MANG. Nah. I’m just playin’. I won’t cut chu. UNLESS YOU ASK FOR IT.



5 Drawer Acrylic Case

acrylic makeup storage

I WANT THIS SO BAD! I would really like to be able to see more of my makeup. The majority of it is packed away into a giant train case in my closet. I can’t gaze upon them from there. Also, you guys wouldn’t believe the stuff thats’s just sitting in there, never getting used, because it’s out of sight and out of mind. If you really think about it, this is kind of an investment that actually saves us money! If my forgotten eyeshadows are out where I can see them, they’ll get used, and they won’t go to waste. See! I’ve got all the best moneymaking ideas. You gotta spend money to make money! That’s what I always say. Or is it that I always just say spend money? I can’t remember. Better spend some money just to be on the safe side.

SEPHORA COLLECTION Cream Lip Stain in 04 Endless Purple

sephora lip stain2

I’ve really liked all of the Sephora branded lip products that I’ve bought in the past. In fact, for my birthday last year, I wore one of their matte long wear lipsticks in a crazy hot fuchsia. Natch. It stayed on for a loooong time. Through a lot of drinks, and birthday kisses and dip. I’m into this gloss, I’m curious how it stacks up to the stila stain that was in my Birchbox last month.


Well, there you have it, some of the things that will ease my transition into 32. The rest of the things that will help are drinks, friends, tacos, and pie. And drinks. And pie. And some of that potion from “Death Becomes Her” that keeps you young forever.


Maintenance, Personal

Hello, Sarice

I got totally good at not chewing or picking at my cuticles and the skin around my nails. I thought I broke a 20something years long habit. I was all proud of myself and feeling like I could accomplish anything. Like, I beat finger skin picking, it gets better and now I’m going to EGOT.


Two of my fingers are bleeding right now, and the rest are mangled. That usually means I’m worried about something, but maybe I’m just hungry for my own delicious flavor. What the fuck? Sarah, you gross cannibal. I’m not even a fancy Hannibal Lecter type cannibal, I’m more the stick my own finger into a Ramen seasoning packet and then nibble on that type cannibal. ACK! So much sodium!

For the record, I have never eaten my own Chicken seasoned finger. I’m just saying, I wouldn’t ever braise myself or anything.

I promised myself a new full set of beautiful nails if I kicked the habit again, and I just got shipment notice on the FLOSS GLOSS Fall collection. Time to put the smelly hand lotion on the skin, and slap my own fingers away from myself again!

Aging, Personal, Skincare

Sarah now Clara

mom and sarah chis


A recent British survey says that most women “turn into” their mothers at 31. I saw this, and didn’t really think anything of it until, one morning recently, when I found myself sitting outside at an ungodly hour, drinking coffee, with a chihuahua stuffed inside my robe.

I texted her and demanded she answer for her brujeria. But, it was too late. I’ve already started saying movies are, “cute.” She just laughed at me anyways and told me she knew it would take one day.

And now I am Clara.

I wake everyone up by cheerfully singing, “Wake up, get out of bed, drag a comb across your head,” but I don’t sing any of the other lyrics, I always feel like watching “Moonstruck,” I SLEEP NEXT TO A GUY WEARING A SLEEP APNEA MASK.

Not that “Moonstruck” isn’t great. Everyone in it is amazing.


Such a cute movie! 

Besides the snoring husband and the ability to coax tiny dogs into my clothes, I’m also getting my mom’s skin tags and hyperpigmentation spots. These delightful hereditary traits have also been triggered by the arrival of my 30s.

The skin tags are nothing new, I’ve always been prone to  a small smattering of tiny ones (gross), but now I feel like they’re trying to take over. My mom had to have hers lasered off! I don’t want that for myself, but I really don’t know how to stop it. I know all the tricks for removal, but I don’t know any tricks to keep them from happening.

The dark spots on my skin though, that I can do something about. I think. I usually feel really confident when I buy beauty products, but this branch of the skincare tree is all new to me. I’m feeling a little lost about how to go about finding the most effective anti-aging treatments. Where should I start? I get a bunch of beauty magazines, but I’ve seen “The Devil Wears Prada” on DVD on TV many a Saturday afternoon, I know how the advertising works. I really feel like I can never be sure if a magazine is telling me about a great product because it’s truly great, or if the magazine is telling me about a great product because Meryl says there needs to be more advertiser product. Same goes for beauty sites.

I don’t want to just buy the Clinique one because I think the egg is cute!

clinique egg

I’m not saying I won’t buy the Clinique one, it does have excellent reviews. I just want to be more informed about what exactly I need to be doing. It probably comes from my time as an esthetician, this need to draft a treatment plan. But where the fuck do I start? I think this problem requires more than just a Sephora sample. That’s good for cleansers, and masks, but these kinds of things need long term time to work.

Does anybody else know what I’m dealing with here? If you’re on an anti-aging regimen, how did you choose it? Have you turned into your mother? Does she like you more now? I bet mine does! It bears mentioning that my sisters became our mom at about the ages of 10 and birth, respectively. So with me, she’s probably like, “Finally! This asshole has become someone I can relate to!” And then we clink chihuahuas.


Links, Personal, TGIF


Hey! If you’re interested in freaking out, go spend your Friday over at Fuck Yeah Nostalgic Beauty Products.

I absolutely had this taped to my bedroom wall.

Still use it. There’s one on my nightstand right now.


Kept it in my backpack! Took it to school! Reapplied between classes! Gross!

This turned my scalp into a giant scab. But, I kept using it to smell like I fit in.


Isn’t it great?!?! Are you roughly my age and can smell and taste nearly EVERYTHING they post?! What’s that about?! Pretty cool/sick, right?! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Doesn’t make me feel weird or uncomfortable or transported back to high school or anything! Hormones sure were crazy, huh?! Nope. I’m not sick to my stomach/horny at all right now! And that is definitely not how I could sum up my entire teenage experience! Hahaha! What are we talking about??

I’m going to put on some Mazzy Star and lie down. Maybe do some positive affirmations….

I am 31….I do not have algebra today….I have a permanent boyfriend….nobody really does 3-way calling anymore….

Hair, Personal

The Bangs and The Beard

I remember the first time a set of bangs really hit me. I was in the 8th grade on a school trip to Sacramento, hanging out in some music/head/sticker shop, when I saw her….



A cardboard cutout of Bettie Page sitting next to the register, wearing a sign about punishing shoplifters around her neck, was a shock to my system. It was love at first sight! It wasn’t just the hair, obviously, she’s an icon for a reason. But, her hair is iconic for a reason too.

I left Sacramento a changed woman.

uma pulp fiction

Two years later, when I was 15, I cut my hair like Uma’s in Pulp Fiction, and I kept the bangs until I was 29. Then, I decided I needed to take a break and try life without bangs for a little while. I grew my bangs out, and then grew out the rest of my hair until everything was nearly to my waist. It was like hitting reset on my head!

I didn’t realize how much of my daily routine was centered around making sure my bangs weren’t messed up. I mean, the way I sleep on my pillow, STILL, just out of the force of nearly 15 years of habit, was at the angle least likely to cause crazy morning bangs. So, life without bangs was pretty easy. I didn’t have to really do anything to my hair anymore. I could just let it air dry, and 9 times out of 10, it would look good.

But then, I started getting really bored. I felt like my hair always looked so blah. I’d see some good bangs on TV, and I’d get wistful.

We both have big crushes on The B in Apt. 23. LOOK AT HER! Those eyes, those lips, THOSE BANGS!

The B

Please be our girlfriend, The B. We’ll treat you right.




I went in on Friday afternoon determined to make a change. Besides the bangs, we lighened up my hair quite a bit, and threw in some different tones all over. I NEVER do stuff like that. I like to keep my hair pretty much one color, and that color is, “VERY DARK.” Like, seriously, do not come near me with foils. But, I went for it anyways because what the fuck, right? If we never try new things, we have no way to know if we like them. When it comes to your hair, you just have to jump sometimes!

We even did my hair with my back to the mirror like on “What Not to Wear,” so it would be really extra scary when it was time to turn around! I’m terrible at hiding my true emotions, and there was a very real chance I’d burst into tears if I saw my reflection and thought I’d made a terrible decision.  When I saw that old familiar fringe peeking at me from above my eyes, I was like, “Oh shit,” so I was worried.

My friend dusted the little pieces of hair off my face, took off the cape, spun me around, and then we both lost our minds because it looked AMAZING! I didn’t cry!

I *did* startle the hell out of myself the next morning in the mirror though.

Since I could not stay away from bangs for long, I gave us a cool new couples nickname.

I’m The Bangs.

This is The Beard.

the beard and the baby

The Beard and The Baby

The Bangs & The Beard.

I’m pretty happy with my hair now. I love the color, and it’s nice to have my bangs again. But, we’ll see. I’m nothing if not finicky! The last time I cut bangs I kept them for half my life; but now, I’m not scared to grow them out because I know it isn’t that bad. See! I never would have known that if I hand’t stepped outside my comfort zone and grown them out in the first place!

Full fledged Bangs Sisterhood enrollment is back in effect! I’m a card carrying, lifetime member.

Personal, TGIF, Video

Too Funky

I mentioned this video was my origin story in a previous post, and it’s THE TRUTH. When the light hits Linda at the beginning, and she throws her head back on that looong neck, I was born. When Emma comes out in that Thierry Mugler motorcycle corset, I died. And when Julie Newmar hits the runway, I was brought back to life.

My insides are going all shimmering wobbly just thinking about it, and I literally just watched the video half an hour ago.

Glamour and camp all rolled into one amazing package, I was mesmerized every time. I’m STILL mesmerized every time. I didn’t realize it then, but the video infected 11 year old me with a love of fashion, beauty and impossibly long necks forever. There was no way I was ever going to be a 90’s supermodel, but I could pretend! To this day, every hallway is my catwalk, and I will spin in my robe, like Tyra, forever and ever always AMEN.


I Found My Heart in San Francisco

Hey guys!

You guys know when I say “Hey guys!” I’m only ever saying it in a weird Romy from “Romy and Michele” voice, right?

Hey guys.

Thank you all so much for the support, encouragement, and personal stories after my TMI post last week. The love I felt was truly soothing to my raw soul. I was feeling so exhausted, I just really needed to put everything out there.

I’m feeling better now. While I was sick, I got pretty sloppy with my usual medications, and I think that, combined with hardly sleeping for two weeks while I was coughing, just provided a perfect storm for my brain to malfunction. So, while everything was off balance from missing so many pills and being run down by the bronchitis, my depression saw an opportunity and took it, and then I was oversleeping, and that makes you feel extra terrible. Blah.

I’m over explaining things right now. I just like to try and nail down what went wrong, so I can avoid it in the future.

When we lived in LA for a few years, my life was like that nearly every day. That was the longest low period I’d ever had, and now that I’m out of it, it scares me to be back there. I never want to be back to a place where I can accept my illness as a long term lifestyle. Does that make sense? I know I have to accept it as a long term part of my life, but I don’t have to live the life it demands. I want it to bend to my will, not the other way around. Suicide isn’t the only way to give up when it comes to mental illness.

We took a trip to SF for Jason’s work over the end of last week and the weekend, and I used the time to be in a different environment, in a different climate, away from all my usual day to day responsibilities, to try to reset. The change in scenery, and the escape from the stifling heat in a place I feel comfortable was all so helpful. I’d already been back on my Cymbalta, regularly, for nearly two weeks, so things started to level out.

Rowdy Westin SF


While we were there, I got some exercise the first night when the fire alarm went off at 2:00 in the morning, and we had to get out of bed to climb down all 28 floors worth of stairs. And I did it, holding the dog like a GOTDANG HERO. That was more cardio than I’d EVER like to get at any one time, but hey, endorphins are good for you. I spent the rest of my days there, walking around on JELL-O legs, buying myself fancy sandwiches, getting room service, shopping, doing my nails, napping without guilt, reading, watching terrible movies, and just trying to be good to myself, in near solitude. In the evenings, I’d leisurely do my makeup, get dressed, and go out riding in the backs of town cars and Escalades to parties and dinners with Jason and his wonderful, hilarious, and friendly coworkers and bosses. It felt so good to be out of my usual routine.

I made the decision to make all my decisions without judgment. Like, the day I ate Pringles for lunch instead of going to get something because I just didn’t feel like putting pants on, or the decision to eat a cookie that was nearly the size of a dinner plate, or when I went shopping and just bought the things I wanted without hemming and hawing. Giving myself permission to literally do anything I wanted, was the best thing I could do for myself while we were there. My depression gets me locked into this frustrating place of indecision, and my anxiety makes me weigh every possible outcome of everything I do. I gave myself all yes or no options. Put pants on? No. Eat this giant cookie? YES. Rewatch “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?” Yes. Remember, NO JUDGMENT.

Big cookie SF


Overall, I feel so much better than I have the last month. I feel sort of stupid now for letting you all in on what was happening, but I didn’t want anyone to think I was letting this site go. I’m not 100% yet, but I’ve definitely turned a corner.

I bought a bunch of drugstore lipsticks, one Urban Decay lipstick, and some E.L.F. stuff, so that will all be making its way to you soon.

Thank you for hanging with me through this. I promise to try to make it worth your while! And please, if my struggle has taught us anything, let it be that sometimes, you just have to eat the biggest cookie you’ve ever seen and feel pretty fucking good about it. Big cookies taste so much better when every bite isn’t laced with guilt.

EDITED TO ADD: If my struggle has really taught us anything, let it be that reaching out can only help.